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Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Currently doing a research on 14th century in Singapore. The internet has nothing about Singapore's history. So propaganda. Since when did Singapore's history started from 19th century?? This is the reason why I did not like history and social studies in secondary school. They fill us up with crap. So I did not give a damn. Lucky for me, I had my other subjects in control to help me get into poly. Haha. Ok. I'm just angry that I know things that people do not know but they should KNOW! I'm angry at the person who stopped educating us with what we should know. I don't wanna be a Singaporean Idiot as Greenday would sing. Lucky for me Uncle Rashid and Aunty Rahmah came to my house to tell me all about Singapore's history. I am going to write all that I know and I will document it. It will be a documentation about Singapore's history based on real accounts and not based on only artefacts or internet research. Never trust internet for Singapore history. Even if it is claimed to be a government site. They spelt Sang Nila Utama as Sang Mila Utama. Oh my god! I am so embarrassed to be a Singaporean for a second there! People, live to know your roots. Without your roots, who are you? What are you now? Children of capitalism... Even if you claim it to be democratic. RoyalPrincess rocked @ 12:55 AM |
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Sunday, November 01, 2009
Bored. Amazed by Irshaad's lappy. Still exploring Irshaad's lappy. Thirsty. Bored. Still bored. Oh GOD help me!!! RoyalPrincess rocked @ 6:10 PM |
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Saturday, October 31, 2009
I remember those times though, when I used to blog frequently... Reflecting on my life. I would always wonder... Why was I given the signs? Even if I do not ask for it? For the past few months that I've lost myself, I think I had been too arrogant to even see the signs. I was so arrogant that I did not even notice I was being arrogant! What a big pity. But now I know. What had kept me for being me is family. My beliefs. My way of life. Reflecting everyday, putting it down in words... I just loved reflecting. Oh those days. The days where I cherished every moment of my life. When I knew whatever I was doing... When all I cared was to make people happy, not for making people accept me! Why did I change? Why did I change for the worse?? Now I am talking to the girl in the mirror. Now I know what is wrong with her! God forgive me and my sins. There is nothing I need most other than You. For You are my guide, for you are my light. You shine my way when I led myself into the loom (like 90% of the time!) And you were always there for me... even when I did not notice you. Sometimes I even forget you. Damn me. Now I realise that I do not deserve to go to Your heaven at all. Oh Allah, have mercy on me. Because I do not have the strength to step in Your hell, let alone be Your hellfire. I felt the ground shake at Far East Plaza just now. Ideas came into my head. What if the building were too fall? Would I still be alive? What about my siblings? Will I get the chance to tell my mom I love her? Would I be able to ask for forgiveness from my relatives and friends? Will I even be given the chance to repent? If I die, and I don't repent, that means I would not have any chance to repent! I will go to hell?! I pushed the thoughts away. Too much to handle. Then we watched "This is it". MJ. My all time favourite. My idol since I was six. Why people love Michael? Now I know. He is humble. No matter what race, no matter who are you, even if you are amongst the enemy, he will still say "God bless you", "I love you". His tone of voice is so soft. It is as if he is singing but he is actually talking. The way he brings himself is so exquisite and fine. The way he works... very detailed. He is the best of the best that only the best can work with him! masya'Allah. He gave me the chance to see this movie. To see for myself, what I had been missing. To help me find my answers. I am so touched by His care and love. So touched. Alhamdulillah Syukurillah, for I have found my answers. Thak you Allah. RoyalPrincess rocked @ 11:52 PM |
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Sunday, October 18, 2009
One good thing is that we had to climb up the hills. After three months of solid 'Heavy' lunchs and no exercise, we went back to square one and started on our Final Year Project. Yeah baby, work it out! Tomorrow is going to be Fort Canning 'Day' For us. Haha. Gonna leave home early in the morning and start our recce. Then we went to watch Halloween with Ziza's family :S I swear I felt like crying and vomitting through out the whole show! It gave me no room to breath. I could only gasp. Luckily, Hakam was there to make me feel safe. Even though it felt so awkward because I was sitting next to his mom. :l Okay, I am going to relax and calm down. Next week, my favourite cousin is getting married! But tomorrow... jeng3... I'm gonna see him again! Teehee! Can't wait. :)) Nobody knows what kind of love we share. RoyalPrincess rocked @ 1:49 AM |
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Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Something has been smothering me... I had an argument with a friend that time. After reading my posts, do you think I have problems with my english? I mean, I know I did not get a distinction for English during my o's but Seriously? I asked her that if she thinks I had problems with my english, why don't she correct it? So I asked her to correct me. And guess what? She could not answer! Pfft. Come on lah. Oh ya, she had problems with my TycoPrincess nick name. *Clenches fist* Come on lah! Anyone who has played pool with me knows that I'm Tyco... She thinks tyco is good? You don't know the rules of pool is it? If I wanted to show off, I would have nicknamed myself "PoolPrincess" Or some name. I really don't like this kind of people. Problematic. Ok now I'm done venting my anger. haha. Everytime I think of her, it makes me angry. I can't believe I was so good to her last time. Badigol kan? Now, she's like a backstabber. You know, in Malay there's this saying... Bagai melepaskan anjing yang tersepit. Like you help a dog, what does it do after that? Thank you? No... It runs. I can't Believe I was good to a female dog. BTW, Happy Birthday Mika! I can't believe you are seven... I thought you were 8!! RoyalPrincess rocked @ 5:27 PM |
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Thursday, October 01, 2009
http://www.goodybooks.com/ibelieveyoufn.htm “You’re like the North Pole of a magnet bar, and Jacky is also like the North Pole of a magnet bar. There’s no way for both of you to be close together. There’s a force that’ll always push you both apart. This force is called the obstacle, like interest differences, communication problems and etc.“However, if you put a metal bar in between, both you magnets will stick to it. And you’ll be close to each other. That metal bar dissolves the force that pushes both of you away. And that metal bar is what we called love.” *How nice!!!* This book is actually about a NJC girl sufferring from OCD. The journey tells of how a schoolmate helped this introvert demise her illness, and they end up falling in love. The twist? Both believe that they can't love. :) RoyalPrincess rocked @ 10:34 AM |
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Wednesday, September 16, 2009
So, I decided to take this picture of the office desk that I have been working on. It's ONE of the office desks, to be precise. The other, is much more... *ehem* messier. HurHur....  Notice the two cordless mouse? I always get confuse between the two haha! And I'll end up getting irritated at myself. You might wonder why I need a laptop when I have a Desktop... well, its simply because, the Desktop does not have Autocad installed... and my laptop? Well, there's no wireless internet access available :( heh. How Cool... Ok, the fax machine's ringing! (That has got nothing to do with me but yeah... bye!) RoyalPrincess rocked @ 10:55 AM |
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Thursday, September 10, 2009
Excerpt From 'Coach Carter' "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkess that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were all meant to shine as children do. Its not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear,our presence automatically liberates others." Now, how would I reiterate this quote in my own words? Well, here it goes. We are most afraid of being powerful, not of being weak. By acting weak, it does not do any justice; there is nothing good about being small so that others would feel comfortable around you. Everyone is meant to shine; as children do. And as we let ourself to soar, we sub-consciously allows others to do so. And as we are freed from our own fears, our presence automatically frees others from their fears. In a nutshell, when you are 'average', people are comfortable with you. But when you are excellent, you allow other people to excel with you. I have a life lesson that has something to do with you (Azimah). I used to be bad at maths and never wanted to excel (since Pri 2) because none of my friends do. And I hated being a nerd, although I used to look like one. I wanted to be cool in school. So I did not really care about maths. And so, there was a bunch of us who hated maths, and only a handful of 'nerds', I must say. But, it was only in sec 4 (where I met you) that I realise I had to be good in maths. I did not care how, but I managed to open my heart to accept maths. When I accepted maths, I listened and paid attention more to the teacher. Although some of the guys in our class were fooling around, I still wanted to learn. Of course, I could choose to be 'cool' and join them. But I did not want to. I can act like I want to be good in maths and practise everyday, and drown myself in the 10 year series. But nothing would be accomplished until you learn to accept and learn from your mistakes and remember not to do it again. So, when it was time to apply, we have to practise. This part is the most challenging because you want to still look cool. But 'cool' in another way and also a positive way. Of course you can choose to ask your friends and they will tell you they know nuts about maths. Especially when you have a bestfriend who would squeeze her pimples every time when she starts doing her 10 year series. (Sorry Lynn! haha) Now, how depressing is that?? Did you remember? That was when I looked and turned to you. I wanted to be good. You looked like you are keen in being good. There was nobody whom I could look up to at that point of time. We were into cliques and the class was not that good in maths. So that made the situation difficult. Tell me one time when Ms Cheong (our maths teacher/FORM teacher) would come into class and not nag at us about maths? ahaha. And we would make fun of her hair and what not... haha. Those days... But hey, she was the one who made me accept maths. I owe her big time. So yeah, that was when I started being diligent with the 10 year series. *New best friend aye.* And as I thought you were approachable bacause you seem keen to excel, I gave you a call when I had problems with maths. In return, you'd stay up with me, doing maths all night... haha, ON THE PHONE! How cool. But that was the best moments I had in life. I gained 2 new best friends there. Good and real best friends. And now, as we have achieved our goals, we look up to each other. Imagine having a lot of friends... sharing the same friendship like we have... Always looking up to each other. Never stepping each other down. And we tell each other how we look up to each other and we mean it. :) Alhamdulillah for a friend like you. A healthy friendship needs reciprocation. If one tells you that he/she looks up to you, never ever let her down by disregarding her remark. Always accept it and thank him/her and reciprocate. Find something that is good about her, and tell her. There is nothing to lose, in addition you will gain a real friend of a lifetime. Like the quote above Azimah, you wanted to excel and you allowed me to. You let me excel because without you, I would still be clueless about maths. Although both of us were not that good, we had the same interests and we generate each other's logical thinking skills. And we learn together. We deciphered each questions together. I never regret that moment of my life. Never. Until we meet again, Assalamua'laikum :) RoyalPrincess rocked @ 9:31 AM |
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Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Berdiri di tangga kemewahan, kenikmatan dan kesenangan Keindahan dunia ini menganggu ku Kemanisan hubbu dunya ini mencarik-carik imanku Dimanakah aku tanpa kecintaan padaMU Aku runsing Ya ALLAH Aku berlari ke sana dan ke sini Aku mencari dan terus mencari Dimanakah ku tagih cinta Ilahi Bagaimana harus ku bayar nikmat yang Kau beri Sedang aku tidak diuji Maka saat aku tidak diuji, adalah ujian yang terbesar sekali Andai bisa aku berbicara denganMU Dan ku harap Kau mendengar pengaduanku Sungguh aku bukan bercakap kosong Inilah keluhan hatiku Yang merindu cinta MU, yang mengharap keredhaan MU…. Ampuni aku Ya ALLAH Aku lemah lagi tak bermaya Melawan sesuatu yang digelar fana dunia Aku tak mampu Ya ALLAH, Belenggu ini menghimpit ku… Belenggu ini menghiburkan hatiku Sehingga aku senang denganya Sehingga aku takut kehilanganya Sedang cintaMU itu sangat luar biasa… Sedang cintaMU itu lebih dari segala-galanya… Sungguh aku tak layak Ya ALLAH menghampiri syurgaMU Dan pasti menggeletarlah seluruh tubuhku mendengarkan api nerakaMU Lalu ke manakah langkahku Selayaknya dimanakah tempatku Atas redhaMU ya Rabbi.. aku hanya menuruti Andai aku diseksa, kan aku patuhi Asalkan Kau meredhai hidupku ini Terima Kasih Ya ALLAH kerana sudi menyayangi diri ini Terima Kasih Ya ALLAH kerana sering mendengar pengharapan serta pengaduanku Terima Kasih Ya ALLAH kerana sering bersama-sama denganku, tak kira apa keadaan imanku Sesungguhnya Ya ALLAH, cinta ku hanya milikMU… *taken from azraqjuniormuslimahgirl RoyalPrincess rocked @ 11:06 AM |
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Seandainya kau melihat redup renungannya, mungkin kau akan sedari, mungkin kau kan fahami... Seringkali kita ucapkan syukur kepadaNya, dan selalunya kita bertanya apakah silap salah hingga mendapat balasan seperti ini. Sebagai manusia, kita leka. Leka bahawa dengan ujian sebegini, ia mengingatkan... Ia menyedarkan. Itulah petanda untuk pulang ke jalan asal. Mengapakah kita selalu mempersalahkan orang lain? Mengapa kekadang kita rasa diri kita ini hebat? Mengapakah acapkali kita tidak ambil peduli, berkata dan mengucap sesuka hati. Maka itu lah saat-saat apabila diri leka. RoyalPrincess rocked @ 10:43 AM |
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