I'm bored

I want to post some pictures that I took, but its so... Anyway.
just put it as, I am lazy to upload the pictures. Will upload soon okay!

So, The last time we went out was when we went to Sentosa.
We had fun with the luge... haha. Saw RWS, Had a really fun time...
Sad thing we couldn't do SegWay. Okay! I am so going to do SegWay and megazip next time.
But next month's outing would be Lily putt. Hmm Gonna check out if they have a website.

And Darling wants to do Ice Skating? Hhaha. Where? Not Explorer Kid's for sure...
Okay! Lets do some research shall we?

I miss him, I always think of him after all that has happened just now :)

It's near 4 and I've yet to sleep!

I know I've promised you not to vent my anger at you. But oh dear, I couldn't help myself. I hate it when I do that to you, because I know you do not deserve it. We both know. After telling you all that was hidden in my tiny heart, I can't believe you trust me. I did not expect that. I've never felt love so strong from someone else except from my mother or aunt. But you trusted me, you believed me and forgave me. You even told me you would protect me... I feel so grateful. So honoured, so blessed to be with you.

I will never bring myself to betray you or hurt you. This, I promise myself :) Allah has His ways of working His magic.

I love you. I know you know :)

Nenek's birthday

It's nenek's birthday today, and I had a surprise for her which made her almost cry... I think, that was the best birthday present I gave to anyone in my life, accidentally. When nenek saw it, she hugged me real tight. I was moved, almost in the verge of tears :) Will post some pictures soon.

Dan aku fikir-fikir, dan terus memikir

Ya Allah,
Dugaan apa yang telah kau berikan kepadaku?
Apa kah hikmah disebalik semua ini?
Kejadian-kejadian yang berlaku,
Sumpah setiaku kepadaMU?

Ya Zahir,
Kau yang memandang segalanya,
Namun hanya kau lah yang tahu segala yang tertulis di benak ini.
Lindungi lah hambaMu yang kian lemah,
Dibaur debuan asap neraka mengaburi mata.

Aturkanlah langkahku, untuk meniti titian yang kian rapuh
Bagaikan berjalan di atas seutas benang,
merentas langit yang tinggi,
Sungguh ku tak berdaya.

Rintangan dan badai yang harus ku lalui,
Demi Yang Hayy, Demi Yang Qayyum.
Akan ku harungi dengan penuh jiwa dan raga.

Life...

Life has never felt better I guess.... No stress about school, no stress about not having enough $$$... hahahaha.(Gerek Kan)... But then, as I move on, new challenges arise and I have to face them one by one. No matter how tough, no matter how disheartening, no matter how discouraging!

I am so happy today because mr.H is on luggage off tomorrow. :) So, we'll be going out with his family :)) Yeay! (I can't believe it, I had just came back from having supper with his fam an hr ago. And now I can't wait to see them? hahahah)

But seriously, I so can't wait. We are going to Vivo tmr I guess. :)) SHOPPING! ahhahah. (Like I shop every day, nowadays! Hello?!) Im enjoying life while waiting for graduation. :) Im thinking of working for O'braim and at the same time do some freelance (like as if that freelance is going to happen!) but hey! You never know. Wealth and fortune is in God's hands. :)

so, Tawakallah.

Insomnia

I still cant sleep and its near to 5. I think I am stressed out or depressed? or just simply nocturnal? I wanted to watch santau but was too scared. haha. So suspense. Shall just wait for tomorrow.

Ok, back to why I may be stressed. My parents want me to continue with my studies. Thats not the main problem. The main problem is that they do not seem to understand my dreams. My realistic dreams. They want me to have my own design firm. They want me to embark to Malaysia or Australia. But I will have to do that alone? I'm not an 'alone' type of person. Why can't they see that?

My realistic dreams include managing my own restaurant.

i don't know.

uncertain.

Wont see you on friday

I am feeling like a total outcast in my family now. My parents are talking about me with my relatives on facebook. Behind my back? That's funny and sad at the same time. The effect? Tears. All of this started because I decided to work WITH O'braim, my GodParent's business.

My family thinks im working FOR them. And because I want to be near to my boyfriend or i don't exactly know what they think. But what I'm sure is that they don't understand me. Sometimes I get fed up because they think i am stupid or something? I get fed up that I do not even bother. After all the good that I've done? Nothing comes out worth it. Trust me, it has always been like that. And it is very depressing. Imagine, if you have cleaned the house and your parents say you have not cleaned it and that you are lazy and what not, would you like it? After all the effort and hard work you have put in... My life is like that. In simple words, nobody.... Zilch! No body, appreciates me. If you happen to read this post and you appreciate my existence in your life, please tag me. So I know. Otherwise...

So, we have a family gathering this friday. And we are going to JB. Ya I said we. But now, its 'they'. I have decided not to go because I had just found out my father had been updating his status about me in his FB and my aunts are like talking behind my back. Hypocrites. They seem like they understand me in front of me but it so happens that they are talking behind my back.

I am so upset. I feel like running away until I can show my face. I feel so... so... SAD. Well, I guess I'm better of gone, until i can clear my name, If not they'd call me the infidel after dreamcrasher or living off someother's fortune.

My message: I don't know what the future holds for me. I have been given choices. And I chose the one nearest to Allah. If you can't accept what I am doing, then I don't have any loss because 1) I am happy with what I am doing, 2) I give donation to elders (does your child give their grandmother money? or do they ASK her for money? 3) I help my parents. 4) I do not do drugs or smoke or whatever nonsense. (Even if I do, that's my problem, But I DON'T) 5) I am going to have a diploma in hand, If my initial plan does not work out smoothly, I will sit in that chair and chop passports to get 1.8k every month juat to keep your mouths shut.

Why are you always talking about me? I will drive that Jaguar one day and trust me, all of you will be going like "oh tu anak sedara aku!". Just wait until that day comes and BOOMZ! I will have the last laugh.

Dreamcrasher Signing off.