chewing, chewing, chewing,chewing, chewing gum!

First and foremost, I'd like to thank Wan and Azimah for helping me with my blog. Wan, it looks damn beautiful and unique to me... If i could only change the pic of that girl up there to me, it'll be more fantastic... I don't know why but I make it a routine to check on Wan's blog everyday....
I'm chewing my bubble gum right now and it's the most horrifying, displeasing and outrageous thing that I've ever done. I only do this when I'm depressed. Healthy way of DE-stressing yourself but it uncontrollably disgusting... Okay you know what, I'm gonna throw this thing away... Hold on... Bluek... Now I'm feeling nauseous... The idea of you still chewing the gum when all the flavor are gone is revolting! It's like you are drinking your own saliva! Eww...
I think there's wind inside my stomach... You know what? I was so damn tired today I didn't solat for the whole day. Well that doesn't count Ishak... cos it's only 8.15 now... and Ishak is like 8.27... Maybe I'll just payback tomorrow. My head is spinning... that explains the descriptive words today... I'm trying to gain focus. i think today I am a walking vegetable. I so don't feel too well... And today Arina has gone to Malacca... should be reaching home soon..
I can't wait till school starts... I'm rotting at home with nothing to do... wonder how dis interesting and boring it is to suffer in this house like a decomposing and rotting body? (like real!) haha... just kidding... I'm actually bored right now... trying to put my brain in its original manner.
You know my sec 4 classmate, Naqia always tell me that I an suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) just because I am vain and like to touch my hair. ...And that maybe sometimes I get bit weird and funny or shall I say strange till i freak her out... Hey! Did you see? My father is In the Bongkar advertisement at Suria... Hahaha! so funny... Ouh... it's supposed to be serious. sorry father... (hehehe...)
You know what? The cockroach is still lying dead and upside-down on the floor where i left it dead... except that my mother kicked it out of the house just now.... but its still there... outside... do cockroaches have 9 lives like cats do??? and you know what? my two cats can't be bothered. One (fifan) always sleep and the other one (gemok) would watch the cockroach running and do nothing about it... wth???
_________________________________________________________
Chewing gum is really gross,
Chewing gum I hate the most!
-Willy Wonka

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me....

cool in a negative way that is....



my new look after i had chopped off my long moppy hair...

cockroach.... crab... centipede.. hornet??

ok you know about me and i hate big flying insects... ok now on the 2 walls beside me which is 1m away, ther's a big cockroach and i know its flying cos it came from yesterday! now i'm afraid it would fly at me! what should i do???? arghhhh!!!! help!!!!
currently chatting with raudhah, a long time friend i've looked up upon to, and she told me... if it flies you fly too! huh?
haha... very funnny...
ok! now its gone! ahhh where has it gone to???
i remembered when i used to live at pasir Ris 517, there used to be a big flying cockroach in the bathroom in the mornings and i was so petrified i didn't want to go to school. but mom came to the rescue and hit that thing with a broom. it flew all around the bath room... i forgot what happen after that... but i remember going to school though...

ok wan told me just now i had a crude sense of humour while we were chatting about "assuming".

wan: ppl assumes because its either they are too shy to get the truth first hand or the truth is unaccessible..
Amirah: lol
Amirah: then its better to have an opinion
Amirah: like i think
Amirah: i think... you're cute
Amirah: not
Amirah: you're cute
Amirah: but actually u're not
Amirah: theres a diff impact
wan: *what a crude sence of humour u gt there..
Amirah: lol
Amirah: roflmfao

haha was that a compliment or what?

i remember a cockroach crawled across my leg in side the banket i was hiding in! ahhhh!!!! but luckily it doesnt hurt like a centipede does...
i had been stung by a centipede before... it was at bedok after swimming. i fell onto a grass patch and the centipede was crawling on my leg! it crawled until below my knee when my mother push it away. oh how brave of my mother.
then i remember when i was stung by a hornet. at changi beach. it was so damn big. it was dark so i did not see it among the dark green grasses. i was wearing slippers you see and when i got stung, i was like yelli and screaming... shouting of pain and scared. came to this one point when a tourist sitting shouted, "are you ok?" i ignored him... i was running towards my father. and he ticked off the sting which was stuck at my big toe. i could see his hands shaking. but i think he knew he needed to save me. ouh i'm so glad i got brave parents.
i got pinced by a small crab too! i was playing with the one i caught. and then to my horror it pinced me! what the heck i tried to pull it out but the hand came off... so sorry... k i killed that roch in 5 mins oready since it came nearer... it took 5 long minutes!!!

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Gosh!

I so happen to be not in the mood to talk to any guys today although there are two guys who asked me to call them. Mas'ud and Azeez... sorry guys... it's just that i'm thinkin of how sad my father is right now... he's at work you see... he wanted to bring my phone cos my sim card incoming call is free... my mom always call him when she gets back from work. But, tomorrow morning my sister needs to use the phone to bring it to melacca. Girl guide stuff... so there's a phone dillema... and ties btw my sis and my father has not been well these few days... my sis and her rebellious side... i hate it seeing my parents unhappy... so sad... luckily i can bring a smile to their faces.
My grandma at ang mo kio is planning to make a gathering during the weekends since i have passed my 'o's... alhamdullillah... berkat doa semua yang mendoakan... i'm so damn happy with my results that i still cant get over it...
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Oh Allah, Creator of the universe, The Almighty who Hears our prayers, please show the path of truth to my sister Putri Nur Arina, so as she could be a daughter who is obedient and respectful to her parents. Give her faith that she could be a better person and save her from Evil for it destroys her manners. Oh Allah, there's no other God besides you, please hear her sorrows. For you are the Listener, please make my prayers a reality. Save us in this world and thereafter.

Phew!

God! After 2 hrs of dwelling with the template and downloading stuffs... at last... my blog skin is changed! thanks to azimah and wan that is... im quite a technophobe but when it comes t games, i'm all on! so i was supposed to follow my lil sis to bugis cos she needs to buy some souvenirs for the malaysians. she's going to melacca to help with the flood victims... girl guides thing... ya so i did not follow... wth... hahaha... i hope they're ok... i think if i go there, i'd be lost... anyway... i'm so excited for enrolment. Environment design... cool... its a pity that some got into the waiting list. the JC eligible students took the popular courses... but its their life their choice. maybe they wanted that course in the poly so bad that they worked so damn hard and got themselves eligible for JC. they deserve it... unlike some who know that their points are low but they still opt for popular courses... of course you would get into the waiting list. i'm not making fun of them or having the last laugh but this is reality... you want it, work! So I hope that these people would learn from this.

Ok, guess what? in the afternoon, i tried to update the blog. But, when i wanted to publish, the com suddenly not responding!!! after my hard time figuring what to type and typin down those things, i can't publish them! ouh how i hate some technology.... destroys my day. And just now, i had a little tummy prob until now. i had just wanted to make coffee for my father when this prob came... my stomach still hurts... its been so warm lately i was perspiring in the toilet...

 

well i hope my father wont feel hurt... i had a reason...

 

ok enough with that... i so feel like i wanna cry... you know when u're in holiday from school, you're the only one at home, the ppl feel like your the maid... you do everything... the household chores and all... and these people come home from school and play the com, eat, sleep.... and i have to clean up after their mess!!!!!!! oh Allah! pls give me strength!

 

Ok... i think i feel much better now... I see a strong bond on me my father and my mother... thats good... but my sis and my father, they quarrelled just because my sis doesnt wanna heed my father's advise... well she is the person the whole household is "afraid" of... she's violent and her words are so sharp.

 

I hope you guys would be more aware about whats happening in this world... especially the wars going on regarding our religion... look out.... taubat! k lah gtg i wanna take some medicine....

 

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hmm...

i just did some research about Islam...i was too interested that i forgot the time! so now i m chatting wid wan... yesterday i was so lethargic and moody that it lagged until this morning. then somehow i remembered i have to read about the webby wan gave me. so i did... it feels much better... oh no i just finished my pepsi+coke drink... oh gosh... I'm so hungry but don't feel like eating. hmms... i have nothing to do right now thats y im blogging....

 

So now im back to my religious self. Alhamdullillah... (my 5 yr old bro who could barely talk properly is singging Pump It!! Wth...) I'm planning to read the tafsr tonite or later. hope i wont forget. Thanks wan for recommending me the webby.... maybe laterat night I'll update somemore. I dunno what to type about.... hmmz....

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The World

so freakin stressed out today. i dunno y... maybe bcuz of the flu im having, had to follow my mom go jemputan then go vivo for what i dunno.  so tiring... then now waiting for Wan to finish his solat before we can continue our chat about some World stuff.... sometimes i wish if i can save the world. makin the world what its meant to be at first.... ammending whats right whats wrong... but i guess... let Allah do the job. I just plan... he determines it.... later its my turn to solat. i wanna do it but this setan is whispering to me... "you can do your prayers later" i think i'm trying so hard to resist it... i wanna make IT cry... seing me do my prayers... i got this one phrase from a malaysian ceramah for teenagers saying, "do not procrastinate in doing anything. the Devil whispers to ur ear so that you'll procrastinate. but remember, U'r life is determined by Allah. What if there is no more later for you? you're gonna regret." yeah so im not going to bow to the Devil's wishes.... From now on... i'll try not to let anything stop me from doing what i have to do.

 

"Oh Allah, Please give your slave strength to do her prayers with full of sincerity, please guide her, showing her the right path and defend her from all evil doings for your the Listener, please listen to her prayers for she only bows amd kneels down to you. Let her be safe in her afterlife. Let there be fruits for her in your Heaven. Place her to be one of your true believers. Oh Mighty Allah, Please stop chaos in this world which is temporary. Show your followers the true path they should take. For we, your followers, are weak without you guidiance. Please shower our prophet Muhammad s.a.w and his family with the royalty which they should get. Amin."

 

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A new friend

Ok... Azeez is over... now it's a new guy... Name: Mas'ud... haven't seen
him thou. he's quite a nice guy... i'm not sure about his personality... but
he seems to be a family-oriented person which is good... i look forward to
meeting him someday. suddenly he appeared when i'm sad because of how azeez
treated me. the first time we chatted. he asked for my number. in my mind, i
was like what the heck? but then the next time we chatted which was
yesterday, i gave him my no. suddenly he log off... rupenye dier tolong
nenek dier masak ayam untuk kenduri... wah rajin nye... hehe... he's from
loyang sec and now posted to ITE tamp. when i asked him where he was posted
to after the 'o's, he was hesistant to tell cos he was afraid i don't want
to be friends with an ITE guy. but i think its ok. not all guys are bad.
people make mistakes too... the most important thing is to learn from their
mistakes right? i think i'll just layan this guy since he's nice to me. i
hope he won't put me down... hmms... next week is school holidays for the
budak2 kecil... wah action sey mentang2 dah nak masuk poly. oh ya niwaes for
those who dunno, i got into TP. course: environment design... my first
choice! haha... tapi org aus dun have holiday...maklumlah, negara diorg mana
sama dengan negara kita... i think i need to see the doctor. asal makan
banyak, mesti nak muntah... i think my stomach can't handle alot of food.

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weeee!!!!

great! now i have a new easy way to blog. Thru e-mail! why didn't i ever
think of that??? anyway, now i dont have feelings for any guys at all. i'm
hurt for the umpteenth time. but my heart is still open for guys who r
decent? haha wth. anyway, i cant sleep properly yesterday. woke up ard 3 or
4 and heard strange noises outside the window. i can't figure it out. it's
either a duck or maybe a dog barking? i dunno. but all i'm sure is that it's
strange. the sound seems far. i though maybe a pontianak maybe beside me.
what rubbish. anyway. i guess i'm back to my old ways... understanding the
Qur'an,,, i think i'm gonna focus on snooker and some fun activities.
haven't got a list yet. but i think i'm gonna study 'ilmu' from my father
and mak cik. my cuz danial, widya, my kakak sedare nyer tunang pon nak
blajar ilmu. widya called us weirdos... hahaha wth... niways, i had another
bad dream. I had to marry my friends father!!! argh!!! eww.... no way!
imagine me being a mother to a kid of my age??? like wth.. im not going to
sleep with the window open anymore. i usually close the window at my room.
but nowadays i always burn the midnight oil. so my adiks will conquer my bed
and i have to sleep at my mom's bed. since my father wont be coming home
till morning. oh ya. my father got a new job... yay! he's working as a
supervisor at sentosa cove... thanks to my resume! lol... i hope i can
continue blogging as long as this com wont break down and i also hope i'll
get my lappy toppy sooner!

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puisi untuk mu

Badai menimpa dan menyebabkan perpisahan ini terjadi. Walau bertapa hampa
dan lukanya hatiku, kau tidak akan pernah dapat mengubatinya semula seperti
apa yang kau janjikan. Kecurigaanku terhadapmu telah membuktikan bahawa kau
tidak seperti apa yang kau katakan. Kau selalu berkata dan berazam untuk
menjadi insan yang lebih baik dari dulu kala. Engkau tetap berdegil walau
seribu kali ku bisikan kedalam jiwamu bahawa persahabatan ini tidak akan
kemana-mana.
Sekarang kau telah pergi meninggalkan aku. Kau pergi bersama teman
istimewamu. Aku selalu berharap sebelum ini agar kau dapat merubah
sangkaanku terhadapmu. Tetapi kau tetap seperti dulu. Walau berapa kali ku
maafkan mu, tetap kau tidak sedar dan kau gagal untuk belajar dari kesilapan
mu itu. Kau tidak sedar bahawa selama ini aku menguji tahap kesabaran,
kesetiaan dan keteguhanmu. Tetapi kau telah menunjukkan bahawa kau sama
seperti beberapa lelaki yang telah ku temui di masa lampau. Mogaku dapat
mencari kebahagiaan disamping jejaka yang lain yang dapat menambat hatiku
yang parah.

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yeahoo!

I got a letter from RSAF. About joining them by grabbing the scholarship they're offering... The advantages are so appealing that my father asked me to join. So I agree... but I want to join the Army instead because I'm not taking the diploma that the Navy and Air Force are asking. Im taking Environmental deisgn and the Diplomas that Navy and Air Force needs mostly are Engineering Diplomas. I hope that my eyesight won't be a hindrance to join... Aww Mannn....
I really want to join. I don't know why uh... but I think it's because of the benefits. LOL. There's some other girls who want to join too. Like Ayu, my Primary school friend... she wants to join the Air force... I think she's ok uh because I think she has perfect eyesight. Azimah wants to join in Army also... Land. Like me. I hope we can get in. So now, I'm waiting for the weekend to go for the RSAF ACE roadshow. There, I hope to get more Info.
Have you guys heard? New PSP coming out in Japan this march... Got built-in cam, slimmer, lighter and 8GB memory... Theres a new UMD slot so you won't experience the Flying UMD... theres somemore uh but i forgot. If you r interested, ask me personally. Thanks to Ridwan for this info. Luckily I havent buy PSP yet if not, I would have bought a piece of crap. hehe :P I'm so damn happy... you know why...

argh!!!!!!!!!

the noise is so damn irritating below... some repair work is being made to the rubbish chute and guess what? they started from 8AM un till now which is like 2.30PM! wahlao... feel like going down and tell them off... FYI, for those who dont know, i've cut my hair... again but this time, shorter... haha! its a surprise man... i cant describe! lol. had a good week this week... dunno why.. there was nothing much to do thou... i still have to go to my granma's house later... for what? i dunno... haha im so damn bored... played haboo but com sots... feel like crashing this com! i hate you computer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 i wanna get new one... using this one is so damn irritating!!!! arghhh!!! im at wits end oready!!!!

the noise is so damn irritating below... some repair work is being made to the rubbish chute and guess what? they started from 8AM un till now which is like 2.30PM! wahlao... feel like going down and tell them off... FYI, for those who dont know, i've cut my hair... again but this time, shorter... haha! its a surprise man... i cant describe! lol. had a good week this week... dunno why.. there was nothing much to do thou... i still have to go to my granma's house later... for what? i dunno... haha im so damn bored... played haboo but com sots... feel like crashing this com! i hate you computer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 i wanna get new one... using this one is so damn irritating!!!! arghhh!!! im at wits end oready!!!!

hahahahahaha

just now i had just read Azeez's, Zeema's and Dzariif's blog... so funny... azeez baru sedar that he looks like a nerd... hahaha.. sorry iz... no offence... but i realli think he should get a makeover loh... and a change in his attitude... his ex? hmm.... did she came to live back? i dunno... wth i dun care. And Dz has a cool job! wow! hmmms when will i get my poly results??? so tak sabar to go to TP!!! haha... know what? im so damn bored... im at my nenek's house now and there's basically many things to do but it's too quiet... i dunno where have the ppl living here went... maybe later im gonna play habbo... my left hand hurts... i cant type for long... salah urat kot... and this meja is so damn stiky... eww.... feelin so sorry for this laptop... yay! my mom getting me a laptop... dunno when... well i dun realli look forward to it.... not that i dun want it but her words cannot be used... she always say later.... later... but until now i cant see any product... but they say patience is a virtue... no matter what i will still love my mom.... for the recent post, im sorry that there was so many errors... i will edit it later... anyway, i think i would not wanna be in love... in admiration, maybe... but i just hate being controlled and seeing things that i dun wanna c.... so ya... k i'll update sooner or later... keep reading!

looking down....

from the clock here... i can see that its 2.58 am in the morning... and im not asleep yet... haha... so funny i dunno why that is so... i'm tired thinking about what to post in my blog and had been thinkin about it for the past five hours!!! while i was thinking, i played games like habbo, and spider solitaire. i'm so tired that now im lying down typin this words on my lap.. (it's a notebook im using see...) and ya.... im so damn tired sia but i can seem to close my eyes... i played ps2 games just now... forbidden siren... wahlao it was so scary leh... i mean... it was only zombies... but i am so faint hearted i changed the game... my kakak sedara called me kental... haha... takpe lah...
ok now shall i tell you a story about my past life? its not about bfs or what but its about family... Yesterday me and Ibu (my mom) had a chat. We were talking about my nenek (father side), my grandmother did not take care of my father when he was young... my great grandmother did. so basically my family is not that close to relatives of father's side.we were more closer to relatives of my mother's side. from the title you would have guessed... yes my father's mother had looked down on my family just because my father did not complete school. shall i tell you some happenings before?
ok first, during my uncle's wedding at a hotel, the family members had worn the same pattern of baju kurungs. only my parents were left out. at that time i was like 3. my mom told me this. of coz if u were treated like that, you would feel as if u are an outsider right? wrong... you would feel like your just a piece of shit that is dirty. then when there is a wedding function, my grandmother always let me aunty borrow her jewelries... she had never rest an eye on my mom... there was one time... my family had went out and was tired... so we decided to go to my nenek's house. we thought we could stay for a night. but then, she gave an excuse that there is no place for us cos my other aunty is sleepin over too... like hello?! there's a vacant room that we can use! what is that room for? your treasures? she had also liked to compare me and my cousin... fortunately. my resultsprove that im better than her... in psle, and also 'o's.... hahaha! now, i think she will regard me as her grandchild but realli i dun care... if she want, then ok... dun wan, nvm... i dont care that much... but i am educated... i wont hate her deadly like she does... when she needs help, i'll be there... if god willing... and that hari raya haji, she asked my uncle to call my father askin if he is coming to her place. like hell no... we have loads more places to go... haha... jkjk... i don't know y but my family is the most discriminated in my family tree... haha... my nenek from my mom's side is also the same... she would tell me that im stupid... and i was young at that time! all she cared for was my other cousin... at last what happened? he doesnt even come to her house to accompany her. only i do... like what the heck... i told you im educated... no matter how i dun like that person, i will still help when they are in need...
all my life i think is about proving... my nenek from my mother side and my makcik is now at kelantan... will be makin their way home now i guess... haha... so what i wanna tell you guys is that proving ppl wrong to me is a veryh efficient way to head success... because if you prove ppl wrong, the pride in you, ur name... the feeling is indescribable.... if someone looks down on you, just take it as an encouragement for you not to give up.... k its 3.30 now better get some rest coz tomorrow i need to go shopping for kak wiwik's birthday! yeah!!!
hey and you know what? on friday went to bugis with my kakak sedara and she bought tha bag that i loved at first sight for me!!! awww! so sweet!!! she said it was a present from her for my good results! woohoo! love her so much! nut unfortunately, sad things do happen... aiyaa same as azimah's supervisor's case... so dun wanna tok abt it.. nites...

yeah!

I've just send my confirmation of JAE choices... first choice, environment design at TP... im currently using my kakak sedara's (i also consider her as my own kakak) laptop... to blog only lah of course... walaoeh, im so bored at home... with my father... so boring... when i do something which makes him proud, he will be happy... but for other stuffz... haiya... can die uh! his nagging only cannot tahan... dun feel like going home... total stupid waste of time talkin to him... dalah tak bagi kluar keje part time... dier ckp dier takot when i get hold of money, i will forget my studies... like what the hell... he and mr malik shahal can sit at one room... so now... i feel so damn upset... with my condition right now, i think i can just give up... but u know what... i'm not the give up kinda gurl. if lets say i can work, i will show my father that i can juggle the time for work, studies, home and family! but then i know this won't be a reality... so what im planning to do now is that... im going to show him that i can get a scholarship. i love proving my father wrong. we just dont understand each other... ok lah... not that really but sometimes i just dont understand his old fashion-ness... haha... what word is that? but nevermind... i wont give up... i've gone this far... i can go further... ok now... about my results...cos i dun remember telling u guys... i got 16 points for l1r5... thank god! i try to thank god at least once a day for the miracle that's happen... y miracle? cos i didnt realli study for my poa and i got c6! got b3 for math sci and malay... almost every subject, my grades improved compared to the prelims.... my leaving cert was devastating... haha... u know... sometimes... people who like you (guys) are the greatest discourager... they think about themselves... like if they want you to go to the same poly as them... they will tell you all the good things about their poly.... and what bad things there are in othere... like hello? get out of my life man! get ur own life... i dont even know if u know me that well to know what is best for me... so irritating you know ppl like this...so c ya guys lata... got nothin to type... i've told you all the things that has been happening for now... chiow sin chi!

thoughts

i'm enjoying life more than ever... with friends right by my side. Never feeling depressed at all. Just pressured because of some guy hurting me on and on like as if i'm his punching bag. You know sometimesi feel i listen to people's problems too much that i feel so numb. they keep using me as a revenge dump. But its okay. people make mistakes. I guess someoneout there reading this must be very curious on how i can forgive a person that easily. well... im goingto tell you that there is hate in my vocabulary. Not that I don't. But its about 2nd chances. 3rd chancesare rare... but 4th, dun expect me to forgive you. haha.just typing this down to tell you guys out there one important message. that is to learn to convert hatredto inner love. when ur love makes mistakes, give themanother chance. you'll see the reward later. but more than 5 chances are too much. to me.. that is considered abusing. dont ever put out hate from your dictionary.You'll die a terrible death i tell you. some peopledo that and they die shooting themselves. its not worth it. I believe that suicide is not the best problemsolver. imagine. one moment you feel like ending your life. but when you do... thats when its terrible...your breath is taken away slowly. you feel that thereare still some things that you want to do in life.but when you realize, its too late. that's why its a big sin if you are a muslim. btw, that Michael Jacksoninterested in being a Muslim... is it true? if its true,he made a damn smart move. but if its just gossips, then its okay then. he will lead a good life, guided by theholy Qur'an.

yey... :(

so.. today i went to bugis with my kakak sedara, widya... didnt manage to go to vivo as plannedc cos my mom was working. last minute meeting. but, i managed to go surveying. i saw this haversack at bugis street which cost 39.90... so lawa... planning to buy it next month.. well next friday, probably the results will come out... im so damn nervous... argh!!!! how3??? so scared leh... what if i dun do well enuf and i cant go to poly??? ish touchwood.... i just hope my results are as good as my prelim results... *prays hard*

yeah!

hey you guys should try this cool game know. its at yahoo.com. yahoo! graffiti. i know some here have tried it. tahey say its fun... well faced some setbacks in my life. i feel like im nothing in this world. but maybe later i'll feel like a somebody. somebody that everybody needs. yeah... how i wish i was that. lol... what a weird ambition. i think i prefer being laughter... yeah... and madness... as naqia said im facing a "obsessive compulsive disorder" thingy... haha... well later i gotta teach tuition and my mom is workin half day today! tomorrow, i'll be going to bugis or vivo... hmm.... which one will it be? maybe velocity? haha... never went there b4... aniwaes is naqia at england?