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This Guy and I... We share the same problem...

Here are two posts grabbed from his blog and it exactly explains how I feel now and before.

You try to be special but you know its impossible. Why? Because you're just too afraid. That's me. I'm afraid. In my mind, I got all the words I want to say. But I just can't let it out somehow. I'll tell myself to wait for the right moment but the right moment, never seem to come. As it goes on and on, the moment you wanted so badly just fades away. That's when I realised. That moment I'm waiting for...The perfect moment, to say all i want to say...will never come and the only reason to it is that you actually create your own moment. Its not predestined, coincidental nor fate. All this while, the perfect moment had been created by the sole person who wanted it more, me. I've created the perfect moment. I took risk. I didn't care what will happen nor was I afraid. I was brave. And that's me, a while back but not anymore.

Now I'm a troubled person whose too afraid and hiding behind a fake smile and wretched self-denial. A self-denial world where nothing is happening and it makes me seemed like I don't care at all. Thus, I threw away opportunities, I threw away the possibilities, I threw away every single thing I endeared. I'm just locked in one side of the room with nothing at all. Just some tactless and futile dreams I once had.

I miss the old me. The old me who knew what he wanted. brave. undeterred. created and grabbed opportunities. I wonder where is he now...

written by Shafiq Bin Shah Ni at 2:22 AM 0 comments

I wonder what's the purpose of keeping online blogs when you can't really trully be sincere in your entries. So why do I bother?

I decided to give Structural Bio a miss today knowing that I've never did skipped the module once before. So, why not? Spend the time in school before heading to Queensway with Ariff and Hadi. God knows how many time I've been to that place and it has always been for the same thing. Going there on Thursday morning as well.

There's so many things bothering me right now. Not like its surprising. But it doesn't matter because in my world...there's only me, me and me. I better sleep and make sure I finish up my report for good and not get distracted.

written by Shafiq Bin Shah Ni at 11:05 PM 0 comments

http://www.pushing-thesenses.blogspot.com/

*this guy is a blogger friend of mine. We haven't really met actually.