How's life right now?

Missed my laptop! My cousin kidnapped it for like three days?! Ok now that its back safe and sound, I am so relieved.

Ibu's friend came to our house and asked me what am I doing now? Trust me, that question is like a taboo question for me because I don't really know how to answer. And people being people, just want to hear what they want to hear. So just now, my answer sounded like this.

Ibu's friend: Dik kerje kat mana?
Me: Kat Sengkang
Ibu's friend: Sales eh?
Me: Ya... (Something like that, I guess)
Ibu's friend: Oh, Buat ape? Makanan eh? You masak ke serve?
Me: Yah. uhm... I think both kot?

Then I smiled and I walked out of the house, off to work.

I don't know why now I feel like I can face the world. I must say, it is a good feeling. Like I know what I want. And I know it. I just know it. Like I don't feel uncertain anymore.

You know. Everybody has dreams. Get married, have a good life, retire peacefully and what not. Mine is so simple. Yet, its the most difficult. Be a good muslim. Heaven is my strive. But im going so far away from it, I don't think I can do it. Even now, I feel like I should put a halt to my 'hijab plan'. I don't think i am ready to bring the 'muslimah' title. He is not ready, So I can't be ready.

I don't really know why, but I think I am making things difficult for myself. :) Funny. I really think that I am achieving personal and communal success through this choice of path. Working with my Godparents who happens to be both my boyfriend's and best friend's parents. I feel like, when I am with them, I learn so much about life and being a muslim. That's what I like, It's exposure, if you could put it that way. Of course, my parents would like me to work in a design firm. But I just have no interest in design anymore. I think design is an utter waste of time if it were to be made as a full time job. I think I'll do more facebook than I'll do working. Trust me. And it leads to an unhealthy lifestyle while meeting different snobbish people from the other companies and having to work with them. I just don't see it in myself.

I have fun while working at O'braim. And I learn... A lot. Be it about life, be it about happiness... Sometimes marriage and a lot about business. Hahaha. And most importantly, I learn about how I should think and bring myself. What should I display, and what is good/bad.

Smile, and you will receive lots of smiles back. Frown and a huge argument awaits. Just don't laugh like crazy, else a slap awaits you. hahaha. Die die die. Different people with different attitudes and different perception. I tell you, my life is a very entertaining one. I can blog about what happens on that day for a whole night and still not finish blogging. The controversies, the jokes... The tears and laughter... All in one.

I'm still wondering why Ayah Aim likes my maternal grandmother. maybe its because she is very simple? She is the only one who supports me when I made the decision to work for O'braim. Trust me.

Ok so till we meet again,

Salam :)