New Chapter: Alone

Hello World

         At last, I have collected all my desire to start blogging again. Hopefully, this time round, I will garner more readers than before because really, for the past five years of hiatus, life was BORING. 

        I was mostly engrossed with career building and also finding mr. Right. Well... Just for updates, I've found him, and we are tying the knot in August 2017. Yeay! Syukur Alhamdulillah! I really think that this would be the most exciting part of my life. So, I've got to engrave these memories somewhere in the internet right? Who knows, one day, my grandchildren wants to find out their grandmother's life story...

        So, since now that I am on sabbatical, and that after how many god damn years, FINALLY bought a new laptop, I can continue writing about my roller coaster-ish yet boring life! (I prefer to say boring because really, its only full of dramas and dramas are boring, I want blockbuster.)

        I have 22 months to my wedding, means I have 22 months to save up and also, since I have built a stable income, it just means that I can PUT MYSELF FIRST and start travelling and do the things that make me happy! In Shaa Allah.

        So WHAT DO I PLAN TO DO during my sabbatical is to of course, get a hold of myself. 2 years of part-time work while study and five years of working day and night has finally taken a toll on me and I am like BURNT-OUT already! So now I need to recuperate, rest and reflect on what I have achieved since the past 5 years of full-time work.

        Why did I emphasized on putting myself first? Oh well, because I feel like I have lived my life not living my own. I have always tried to make others happy while abandoning my own feelings. After which, I feel contented because I have always wanted to help my family and friends. But I think I have helped them enough and it is too much already until they become dependent on me. SO you know, this has got to stop, and I need my life already please, thank you. :)

        Even now, I feel that I sound selfish already. But really, maybe if the time is right, you will know why I have to do this. Until then, till next time! :)

 

Dear Best friend,

Why I chose to be with him when I knew that I had to choose between the two of you even though I loved you more than I loved him was because I knew I could never show my love to you forever because it would hurt you. My overprotectiveness, my jealousy, my ego, my attitude.... it would hurt you. I just knew it would.

I would rather be far from you, and allow you to spread your wings.... let you fly and find a whole new world over your comfort zone.

Im so sorry for being too overprotective even until now.... im sorry for being jealous, I just loved you too much. And I am sorry I was so childish...

But now I've grown out of it.

I will still be here. Right here. Always. Here. Thats why I chose to be with him. So that I will not hurt you more, and still be near to you.

Ramadhan 2011

La Hawla WaLa Quwwata Illa billah
There is no Power and Strength except with Allah.

Ramadhan has come, and ramadhan is going to end. Like other Ramadhans, This Ramadhan, to me is a fulfilling one. I have learnt alot of things in this holy month. I've learnt about the power of family, the power of friends. The power of solat, and also tilawat. Alhamdulillah, as most of us have already known, Ramadhan is the month where we train ourself. Where we take a step back and reflect on our traits and habits. This is the time, where we 'brainwash' ourselves and train to become better people.

We pay more attention to offering solat, we listen to tadzkirah and we train our eyes, ears, mouth, hands, feet and importantly heart. We train them to leave most of the bad habits by fasting.

Not only that, every day we fast, we remember those who are less fortunate. And then we become thankful for everything that Allah has given us. Everything that we did not ask for, but Allah presented them to us. Now, everyday I wake up, I feel grateful for the air, skies, food, peace and shelter.

How powerful could a month be?

Its just a month, what is so special?

It's the month which contains the night of power.

So amidst of all that, again, Almighty Allah presented us with Lailatul Qadr. The night which is better than a thousand nights. Where all the fruits of our good deeds, are multiplied.

This ramadhan, I have new resolutions. But I am not going to reveal it here.
It is a calling, and insyallah, One day, you will find out what it is.

This is why I love Ramadhan, and this is why I feel sad that it is going away.

Till we meet again, insyallah.

When a person ends ramadhan with new aspirations, with the feeling of he has improved in the righteous ways, then Allah has accepted his Ibadah.

Merinduimu

Allah, Teguhkanlah hati ini...
Kerana tentu aku akan merindui kehadirannya.
Allah, Berikanlah aku ketenangan...
Kerana sungguh, aku tidak akan tenteram tanpa suaranya.

Hati ini merasa pilu, walau berjauhan hanya sehari.
Tidak dapatku mengerti perasaan hati ini.
Walau dapat ku kawal, namun, cintaku padanya membuatku melambung...
Satu perasaan yang sukar dialami...

Allah, berkatilah cinta ini.
Terima Kasihku kepadaMu kerana memberi peluang keemasan ini...
Dan untuk anugerah yang tidak dapat diganti.
Kasihku padamu, adalah sejati.

Universal Studios Singapore

Good Evening people :)
Long time since I've last blogged (properly)!
Guess what? I went to USS today with my brother (Mikhail) and my bestie's family and relatives. Of course, that includes my BF (her brother). I don't know why I'm telling you all this indiscreetly but, Just so you know...

Anyways, today was the day. THE DAY! The day that I broke a record in the books of Amyra Azist's records. Hurhur. I actually rode 3 'roller coaster' rides. The Revenge of the Mummy, The Jurassic Park Rapids Adventure and the Canopy flyer.

The first ride that we took was The revenge of the Mummy and it was (to me) the scariest! I thought that it would be more of like the Panasonic at Escape Theme Park where the ride would not involve making me... never mind. The whole setting was dark with some special lightings at first... And not forgetting some mummy dolls. Of course there were high speed and wild turns... I kept shouting until one part where the carriage stopped abruptly and reversed downhill so fast that my stomach was coming out from my spine. (ok thats exaggerating but it was almost like that.) I couldn't shout anymore after that part because I was already very, very scared. I kept having the feeling that I was either falling or flying because the safety harness was loose for me (I think). And I hate it as it makes the ride more scarier. I remember during the very, very scary part, my hair was like the ghost in Ju-on (We have the picture but its not with me) and I closed my eyes very, very tight and looked down all the way. But when ride almost ended, I shouted "I want more! I want more!". It's the feeling you get when you have conquered your fears and you feel like you want more. The funny (very funny) part, is that my legs did not agree with me wanting to have more. When we were about to get out of the carriage, my knees were like jelly and I couldn't stand up properly. I had to use the strength from my hands to get out from the carriage. When there was nothing else that I could hold on to, I fell on my knees and I kept laughing because it has been such a long time since I've had that feeling. And my bestie and BF thought I was laughing very hard till I drop to the floor. haha. Funny.

Until our journey back home, my bestie still laughs over the fact that I shouted that I wanted some more but my legs couldn't handle it... hmph.

The next ride we took was the Jurassic Park Rapids Adventure. And I got wet. :( It was a very slow at first, but then there was a Flash Flood (in the story line). That was when the 'boat' elevated to like 3 meters or so, and then we went down a tall slide. hahaha. And that was when the wet part comes in.

The last ride was the Canopy Flyer. It was the hanging roller coaster and it took only 33 seconds. And I shouted all the way. That was how 'not scary' the ride was. But it was still scary to me though. Great thing is that, now I am not that scared of heights. Its more to like, I am scared of speed... It gives me that rush... adrenaline. But still I am not 'Afrit' yet.

So tired now. :) toodles

USS bLunDers!

Guess what?

I was booking the USS tickets online so that we would not have to queue up to buy the tickets as they have the print at home tickets function. I only got the confirmation document to download so I supposed that the tickets would be sent through e-mail. But my bf waited and waited for the tickets to be sent but there was nothing. Then we somehow realised... That I had entered the wrong e-mail address! Aiyoyoyo! Luckily, (ahaha) the difference was an underscore. (Still?!) But it was so clumsy of me. I called the hotline quickly to tell them to send the tickets to the correct email. Lucky... haiyo!

pain

I don't feel well at all... I can't eat, I can't sleep. Maybe it is because of all the things that has been happening to me. I've lost my home, Lost my cat, Lost my bestfriend... I feel Like I've lost my life and that my life had ended. (I know, I'm not supposed to feel this way. But I want to get back up.

I don't want him to see me in this state. I don't even want him to know that I am in this state. I can't take care of myself, that's for sure... I can barely breathe on my own.

I'm sorry, I just can't bear to let you see me.

Professor Klumpz

Mr. H a.k.a Prof. Clums(y) forgot to bring his Contact lens case and solution :) Absent-minded right? But I pity him so much that I will bring it to him tmr. I feel so worried for him right now, cause I do not like it when these kind of things happen to myself. So troublesome.

Nvm, I will bring it to you k habibi :)

Pota-toes

Oh how I love the internet connection today :DD

Today marks the second day of Ramadhan. Unfortunately, for O'braims Angels, we were not able to celebrate the joy of welcoming this holy month. :(( But of course, in every thing that happens, there will always be a reason/wisdom behind such. For now, I can only think of... We can taste the food that we cook? And make sure that it's nice before we sell it. :)

Anyways, something in the paper today intrigues me. What's up with kids and crocs? Some kid's toe got stuck in the escalator again! Who's fault is it? The mother blames the shoe company, the shoe company resists. And my sister said blatantly, "they should make insurance for the shoes so that the insurance can cover (cover what? the toe? Apparently, there are insurances that covers for loss of body parts and death. That's what we have too, my dear Nina...) just like cars. Why people buy insurance when they buy cars, but not when they buy shoes?" Good question Nina. I also dunno. Dont ask me!

I think the mother is to be blamed. You know why? The kid did not stay inside the yellow box. He should be a little bit autistic (For his own safety), and the mother did not hold his hands! Almost all escalators in Singapore has warning stickers. And now you want to blame the shoe company for making anti-slippery shoes? You know why they make shoes anti-slippery? Have you ever wondered why people who work in coffee shops or kitchens like me find them useful??

Before you start blaming other people, find your faults first! Shame on you!

It's a damn cold night...

Nina i like wearing her hoodie in the middle of the night, while reading her mathematics notes... Weird Anyway, I am so glad that I bought my adapter and life has been going back to normal after a few setbacks :) Life, has never been great. These moments I shall cherish! I am so happy that my bf accompanies me to the most boring-est places on earth without complaining! And he treats me to great food and the things that I want to do... He takes care of me like how my mom takes care of me. haha. Funny. Now I feel like I have a lot of mothers including my aunt and my god-ma... a.k.a his mother

We went to Sim Lim Square just now. I bought a psp charger for my brother but it could not work... Well, at least, I thought so... So we returned to Sim Lim and waited for around 45 minutes just to know that the psp's charging point is spoilt! To repair, it would cost $120. Thanks uh eh!

And so, headed to all time favourite - O'braim - while my darling went to cut his hair...

I have a small cut on the tip of my middle finger and it hurts whenever I touch something!!

Btw, I have been bothered by wild smses. These two guys keep bothering me even if I don't entertain them and they know that I am attached! And then Bf will always ask me what they want... And if i am entertaining them (replying to their smses) I think he does not trust me... hahaha! But on the other hand, I think he just cares for me so much and is afraid of losing me. I know, my Bf so the opposite of cute.

Anyways, I got to think of something now. Got to give him words of wisdom so that he would wake up tomorrow and have inspiration to continue his puny life in camp. Soo sad! I wish he does not have to go to camp. So that I can see him everyday :) He is having his evaluation tomorrow so we cant talk much on the phone as per usual... :((

But nevermind :) I shall just wait and wait.... And wait :))

Star-Karat

Guess what?

I was 40 minutes late for driving lesson today... o_O

Possibly the most expensive driving lesson I've had.

It cost me:

$24 - Taxi fare (to and fro plus booking fee)
$12 - Ezlink/nets flashpay (Lost it...)
$65 - Lesson

Thanks uh eh!

Hello imaginary world.

I had my 5th driving lesson today :) How fun! I've always looked forward to my driving lessons. I enjoy driving 149. I don't know why... Though, It stalls most of the time (The engine stalled twice just now!) But I feel like we are one! haha... how poetic.

I signed up for the One Team Package. Comfort Driving Centre offers this package whereby you just add $5 to your driving lessons, and you'll get a fixed car, with max. of 5 instructors. I have two fixed instructors. These instructors are chosen based on their competent teaching techniques. One of my instructor is a Malay (Mr. H), and one is Chinese (Mr.D). I prefer Mr.H teaching techniques. He finds my faults and then he will tell me the correct procedures. Mr.D's technique is acceptable too. He will tell me the correct technique first and then we will practice and practice until we get it right.

So far, I love my time table structure. One week with Mr.H, 2 lessons. Another week would be with Mr.D... Just for 1 lesson. So I have the daring instructor who lets me drive like a smart-alack for two lessons, and then there's one lesson with the instructor who make me do the same thing over and over again (like left turns only) for 100 minutes as practice. Its like the secondary school days where the teacher gives the students lots and lots of TYS to complete!

Anyway, that's about driving. I have a medical check-up tomorrow and I am quite excited for it, I don't really know why. But at the same time, I feel like... I don't really want to go because I am scared. :D (But its free!)

Can I wake up at 12 later?

Hello imaginary readers Has been so long since I've last blogged... So I guess no body would've realise that I had updated :) Its been a few months upon graduation and I've just passed my Basic Theory Test in less than 4 minutes with a score of 50/50 :D Gonna break another personal record for ftt. If possible... hehe. Anyway, I'm taking my Class 3 license now. YES. 3. Not 3A, thank you very much :) I made a best friend at work :) his name is Riz. I think he is gay. He calls my boyfriend 'sayang'. Hehe. Maybe, my boyfriend is... nvm.

I miss Mama Nur. I wanted to call her but I get too occupied with work and driving and myself! Even Bf is angry with me today cos I did not say much during our phone conversation just now. :(

And this guy from facebook is freaking me out!

I just ate Ginger.

Ouh how I despise the taste of ginger and now its reeking all over my mouth! Anyway, here was my day. Since it was my off day, I decided to cancel my plans with Raudhah just to go out with my family. Very much sorry Raudhah. We spent half a day at e!hub. Bowling, accompanied by Magic Wok. Been so long since I've had dinner with my family. :) After which we went to Zone X and spend a lot of $$$ on nothing. But I got a yellow elmo from the happy holder. You know that thing which moves and picks toys and throw them down the chute. Very funny you know. And that thing, is a wallet stripper. hahah. We enjoyed the arcade so much that we almost forgot about the time! So when we got tired, we went to FairPrice and got ourselves Ice creams. Magnum gold, almond and Ecuador. So that was my 'off day'. Proud of myself :P

Kemana kau menghilangkan diri

I had just made someone's life miserable (hehehe!) But I'll make it up to him tomorrow... I wonder how he would react tomorrow cos I intend to rebond my hair... Mama (His mom) suggested that I rebond my hair so that my hair would look kept and I would have a nicely executed bob. Right now, its all in a mess... Cute thing is, Mama suggested that I do this before he comes back from camp. Alah! Cute kan his mom. hahaha, (mak angkat aku jugak) Anyways, I am taking my Driving License at last! BTT would be 13 July (I know, so far away) and then right now, I have done all four e-trial tests, that I am afraid I would forget the answers by then. Hmph. Insyallah I won't :) Right now, I'm having prac lessons :) and I am so Enjoying it! K thats all for now, Cya later alligator!

One of 'd' Best Date

Current Obsession: Kid Nation (reality tv series)

Had a great 'date' just now :) Could say that I went home yesterday just to sleep for 7 hrs and then woke up to see him again :) hehehe.

Went to watch robin hood with his family... and his aunt whom we call mummy. Daddy and hykel followed to. (Btw thanks daddy for the ride *winks*) I slept during the whole show cos I was so tired! I did not sleep the night before, watching Kid Nation on youtube. Aiyo. hantu sey.

Then today was my 'once a month date' thing. 8D Initial plan was to go lilliputt to play golf... hehehe. But, it changed totally! Noon: Watched 'The Last Song' which made me cried like crazy! Then we went to Big Splash by bus. Stopped at the wrong bus stop and we had to walk!!! like more than 1 km can? *faints* Then we went to the lilliputt to find that the place was 'infested' with small human beings! *dies* In the end, we felt like it was embarrassing to even be in that place. hahaha. 'Trust me sayang, adults can play too!!' So we chilled at KFC instead... (WTT!) Still, at KFC, there was a family with kids. Not that I hate kids or anything. But I get pissed off by the parents cos I feel like they are teaching the kids wrongly... How can 10 kid shout at the same time? And all from different directions, how to eat in peace? (I know, how can I expect every kid to behave like my 4 angels?) Anyway, we cabbed to parkway parade cos I am an idiot at routes. Seriously. And then we searched for a barber like mad. Walked the whole parkway parade to find a QB house or similar to that cos he needed to cut his hair before book in or his weekends would be busted. So we went to marine promenade, the shop houses opposite PP.

Got his hair cut, then we went back to PP. And it was raining! I hate the rain nowadays. They are so indecisive. I should blame it on myself and the other human beings for making the earth sick such that the weather becomes unpredictable. Sorry mother earth, I will learn to become a 'planet vegan'. SAVE MOTHER EARTH!!!

Ok, now. We went through the rain and i was freezing like mad, so I bought myself a very nice green 'dress' which color reminds me of my secondary school skirt. hahaha, But nolah, this one is much better looking. And I changed into that... So that I won't freeze to death *so exaggerating!* Then we had bbq stingray which is not that nice (O'braims better) and then guess what? When we took the lift down to the L1, there was a DAMN HUMONGOUS QB HOUSE!!! We were like 'WHAT???' *high pitch* God knows the feeling. Then we cabbed back home... and when I reached home, I started on our scrapbook :) Can't wait to show him. Hahaha... Things that I propose to do that he made me do that I do for him!~

I want you to be here

Maybe if you were by my side, It would be much easier for me to sleep every night.
Shall I blame you for being the cause of these dark eye circles and eye bags?

Can I listen to your voice every morning but hate you for calling me late at night?
and then, that would mean that I am being selfish now, aren't I?

I can't believe it. I can't accept the fact. That even after 1 year, 5 months and 10 days, you still make me think of you... Like as if I 'hypothetically' fell in love for the first time! (It took me months to really fall for you ;) )

I hate you for making me feel this way.
Seriously :P

*I will complain to MinDef and ask "why my boyfriend have to stay-in everytime?!"*

Sorry girls, this might bore you!

Apart from topics about NS, what else bores girls like ZizyZieza to the max of the core? Soccer! Hahha. Can't believe it but I am so gonna blog about the premier league tonight. hahaha. Girls, it might help if you put in some interest into topics that guys are interested in... Especially if you wanna have great quality fun and healthy enjoyment with your partners! :) (Who am i? a love psych? Oh i forgot i used to work as an assistant for the Mahkamah Syarie consultants... JK! )

Every guy in FB is like going crazy about how Chelsea won. Some can't accept the fact as they rooted on MU. I rooted for chelsea ever since I got together with my BF. Used to be a MU fan. Whatever he likes, I will like (sub-consciously) So now I root for the Blues :) Sweet kan? Hehe. *Crazy*

Anyway, Chelsea 8-0! woo hoo baik per! The new paper's prediction was accurate :) Ok here's the funny, embarrassing and *slap forehead* moment.

We were at the shop I think, then we talked about Soccer. hahahaha. Mama (hakam's mom) and Hakam were talking about Jose Mourinho and Inter and what not. After their long conversation about how Jose won some titles and gained controversial popularity due to his outspoken nature, I cut in and asked "eh? Jose menang berape Goal?". And they were stunned. Mama was like "Amyra tau tak Jose tu siape?" I was like... 'Obviously I dunno. I thought they were talking about a Brazillian player or something like that. ' Then they laughed at me... and now it's becoming a joke. hahaha. Whenever they talk about soccer, there will be some one asking " So berape goal Jose score?" Ya Allah, I wanna dig a hole and hide my face!

"Hehe... Cute lah you ni" ~That's all you can say?! Thanks eh! :/

I give a salute to mama cos she is more knowledgeable than me about stuff like this. Soccer and current affairs regarding hollywood... Ah, What do I know? Business and politics?! Like how Sands are doing well in Singapore but not in Las Vegas? And how people are going bonkers over the MOE's mother tongue assessment weightage reduction... I feel so old already... BLEAH!

btw, I'm starting to get tired of the Berita Harian. Don't you think that they have nothing to talk about actually?

Please accept me for who I am

I may sound Arrogant, Snobbish, Defiant, Ungrateful...
But those are what you want to hear, what you want to see...
I am not like that. I know. I want to be the best and I try.
I can't be perfect, and even if i have the credibility, life is not that fair for me.
I only depend on Him and it's hard for me to express how grateful I am to you.
I know I am lucky to have such great people who care for me in my life.
It seems like there are a lot of people who has my interest at heart. And I am so grateful for that. :)
Alhamdulillah.
I just want to say that, whatever I do, I will always pray that it is good for me, and I know. And I will always think before I act. That is a promise. So please, stop worrying. I want to live my life in full contentment before I die.

You have to learn to let go.

I find it funny. How I am still so lonely yet I still feel care from people. Maybe they care for me but they just don't support what I do... Or they don't believe in me? Or are they scared of the truth? Or am I just being ignorant? Or what??

I am so confused and no one's helping me. You know what is pulling me together? You should have guessed by now if you have been paying attention. :)