Future

Sometimes I ask and wonder. What the future would be? Some people would put it as end of the world - like the movie 2012, Some would say that the earth would be at its weakest point. My Idea of the future would be... Islam would rise again. We would lead the world. Something a lot of people are afraid of. But thats my view of the world's future.

But My parent's question for me would be 'What are you going to do after graduation?'. Not only my parents ask me that, may uncles and aunties do to. You know, its like... The KFC advertisement on tv now, When the grandmother asks the boy whether he has a girlfriend or not and 'interrogates' him... But he just ate the KFC chicken to buffer out the 'noise'. Unfortunately for me, my uncles and aunties are 'Super - Canggih'. Now, they use facebook! Don't have to wait for Hari Raya or any gathering. I will still be bombarded with these kind of questions.

I guess some would think I want to get married after I graduate. And oh so many of them disagree. Haha. I'm not going to get married okay. I will only after I have let my family taste my wealth. haha. I still have my dreams. And I am working on it still. Even if I want to get married, it would be a complicated process and I will work hard towards my dream wedding and my dream 'life after marriage'. So it takes a lot of preparation for now. I'm working backwards you know.

As for my career, hmm... I am not ashamed of my dreams - just embarrassed to tell. Let's just leave it as, for me to know, for you to find out. Like I said, I'm working backwards. It all starts from My Dream Eternity Life (In the Hereafter)

Chicken Lover's Casserole

So I made one of my all time favourite (two in one!), in which I still have yet to name it... It took me less than half an hour to make it, even though it states there preparation takes around 1h 15 mins. The casserole, just fyi, is actually served as Baked Rice in Swensen's. I can't believe that I've badok-ed that dish almost everytime I visit Swensens just to find out that it is easy to prepare and its much more Tastier and Cheaper! So money saved, Cravings satisfied plus bonus quality time with the family :) Should cook more often... hehe.

Preparation wise, it was not tedious though. Could have just used Campbell's cream of mushroom but I decided to make my own because... I wanted to? After all, if anything is instant, it wouldn't be 'I cooked' now, would it? The mushroom soup turned out great though, Praises be to Allah, and - and... The mozarella was great. Now we just have to remember that we don't use Mozarella for cheese fries... :) We Use Cheddar, Nina!

Maybe, Next up would be... Ayam lemak cili padi?! Favourite! Mmhmm! Have fun looking, I know its tantalising. I drooled while taking the picture. But it did not drop on the food! *Ziza, I know you would go "E-e-ewwwww-w-w-w" (like a sheep) heh.

I can't believe this...

As I was on the phone with my boyfriend, I was looking through the recipes for my Casserole. I so can't wait to try this recipe because I am craving for something creamy, juicy, and 'fattening'! Haha. I've done pastas and lasagnas but never baked rice. So its something new and this made me realise something.... hmm. That's a good start... *Talks to self*

I've prepared my shopping list and I'm ready to go. I have to try this recipe by this Friday so... We'll see! Wish me luck :))

Backache

I ended up not going to school because of my backache. How did I get it? Well, I woke up with 1/4 of my body hanging from the right side of the bed. So, my head was resting on air. The only support that I had was my back (right below the armpit area). So, what a devastating way to wake up! (Should be thankful that I wake up!)

The funny thing was, I did not realise or rather, I could not feel that I was sleeping like that. Maybe the fatigue? Could be.

So my day was blissfully spent watching a movie that I had longed to watch 'Julie & Julia'... :) Quite an inspiration though... It has inspired me to cook. Should cook eh! Long time no cook! I wanna cook cream mushroom with chicken topped with cheese... eat with rice, sounds delicious!

Now I just need to know when... :))

Confessions

I have to tell this to the world. I detest people who love to shout and who likes to scold. Everything can be settled with control. Shouting is almost equivalent to barking like a mad dog. And I can't stand people who don't know the meaning of embarrassment or being ashamed. Oh God, what is the world coming to?

depressing

I think I will need Anti-Depressants.

School has been ever so Depressing and Demoralising.
Now its home.

We have this issue of what I am going to do in future.
I had thought for such a long time.
But this decision I am about to make is disrespected.

Can I do what I like and not do what I don't like?
I am done doing something that I hate. I faced the fact, I am never good at design.
At least thats what the lecturers told me.

We are going through a huge ordeal at home already. Please don't add this on me.
If not for my faith in Allah s.w.t, I might have self-destruct and you might have seen and experienced an unforgettable nightmare.

All these years, I've never complained. I kept strong even when the odds are against me. Let me fight. I want to fight. Fight for a brighter future. Don't let me stay imprisoned. I don't want that. Please don't add to my sorrows. If you let me continue with my dreams, I promise you, I'll be the best that I ever can.

I'm sorry, I'm just not as passionate about design as I am before.
At least, Let me find other things that I can be proud and good at.
Just face the fact like how I had to face it (except that I had to face it terribly, you don't have to)
I AM NOT GOOD AT DESIGN!

I shall...

Take 30 minutes to draw my sections and elevations. So 4 drawings... that would take 2 hours. Can? hahaha. 30 minutes. yah right. I mean, can lah... must have the skeleton, at least... right? Then I'll have to do my building detail. So that would take around 2.30 hrs in total. So Ganbatte ne!

Now then I know. When you are depressed, your response time is longer. When you are depressed, you will look vacant. What ever you used to do fast, you'll do it slower. Yah.

Gotta love myself more. Give myself alot more attention. Love me.

Man Jadda, Wa Jadda

The tears that fall this time, are not tears of sadness.
But tears of enlightenment.

Allah swt has enlightened and presented me with alot of blessings.
Maybe, that's the reward for patience.

If you read today's BH, there's an article about a Malay lady, Hidayah Amin. She is the author for 'Gedung Kuning', a new book about Malay heritage which focuses on the culture of the Malay House found near Masjid Sultan. Now the house serves as a restaurant (Tepak Sireh). *Now I aspire to hold my future wedding dinner there. LOL*

How I see much of myself in Hidayah. But she gets to go to University and gets a lot of scholarship. My world crashed last year :) Nope. I'm not going to complain. Things happen for a reason. And Allah s.w.t is the most Fair. World is unfair, but Allah s.w.t is.

Hidayah is one of the ways to how Allah s.w.t shows me the right path, a consistent prayer of mine. Maybe that is His way of telling me that I should not give up on whatever I had started on. And I should maybe write a book someday? Hahahaha. Insyallah, you'll never know!

Masyallah...

I won't give up learning about the Malay and Islamic history, Insyallah. Only to Him I surrender.

Yeah I've fallen for an angel

Oh my gosh, I don't know why my stomach is having some problems. Aiya.

Anyway, I wanna go and have a look at the new City Square Shopping Centre near farrer park mrt... hmms, who's with me? hahaha. lame.

Seriously, I've been having bad stomach aches. Gastric maybe.

Just some note-to-self. I think I have been behaving well socially. No flirting, No defiancy, Being happy always... But I am procrastinating when it comes to work. The starting is always the problem! You know, these few days have been productive for my FYP though. (Hah, I still can't believe that I am taking FYP.... I feel like I am still a junior) I've never thought I would start producing this early, I mean... Oh my god? Submission is on Thursday and we are doing work from wednesday?

If my Lecturer did not drag us to the com lab and we'd still have to go for 'consultations-only' I tell you, I will only start drawing on the next wednesday!

See how bad I am. hahaha. Bad girl. :(

Happy Brithday Mama!

Hehe. Today is mama Gi's birthday :)) That's Ziza's mom aka my Fairly God Mother. haha.

Anyways, I was supposed to go to lalaland - 'yang tersayang' - at around 10.30 just now, because I need to go to school early-early tomorrow. But here I am, blogging. heh.

Mr.H is staying out this few days, so no call from him. Not long till he goes for his overseas training for around 2 months or less. I must train myself. haha. Not to be to attached to his calls. And I must focus on other things... That would make me happy... Like my family, and his family... especially his sister, ziza, and my sister nina. hahaha. If its the three of us, together, im gonna make it 'DA BOMB!'

Maybe, when we go out this monday, I should get nina to tag along... how bout that?

We are going Badoque Cafe! hehehe

With an open heart

I am sad. I miss Mama dearly. This is serious.
When you don't see the person whom you see everyday, you will feel the loss.
You will miss the great impacts they had made in your life.
How they made you change your ways.

I miss my best friend. I looked through my earlier blogposts. What fun we had before. I guess, everything changed because of me. Maybe I took things so seriously. Maybe because I made a huge fool of myself. Maybe because I lost myself. So I lost her. Maybe.

But Im gonna change all that.

Miss you loads bestie, will you forgive me and shall we start a new?
I promise I will joke and not take your words to the heart.
I promise I will go shopping with you and entertain you like mad.
I won't just look and go when I shop with you k.
Hahaha. If you say I les or anything i wont take it to the heart cos i know i'm not. hahaha.

So will you take my hand? (not literally)

I'm not les, Im not bi.
I love my bestie sincerely.
Because she is my bff.
She always reminds my of the 'true path'
and thats why i love her and her mom.
But I also love my sis and my mom lah.
Anyway.

I love you people. I love you!

Now then I realise

I have not many friends! ahahahahahahaha
Well, I do have friends lah, but I can't find friends who would hang out with me when I am bored... you know, just chillax or something...

I think I brought this upon myself. Cos all this while, I've been working or studying... and my circle of friends is like 3 -4 people? Pathetic. I know I have more friends than that k.

You know, I won't let myself be upset cos I don't have people to entertain me. haha. I made up my mind... I'm not going to join my cuzzins go clubbing or lepak. Im going to start figuring out my dreams... and be busy. Start doing assignments and stop procrastinating. Be a high-achiever. Thats gonna make me not worry about not having friends to go out with or no boyfriend to entertain me. If this is how I have to live my life, and if it is good for me, and if it is the path that Allah swt has shown me, then I'll walk and I'll lead the way.

Right into the arms of Allah.