I feel like I am having a headache now. I feel like, I want to do a lot of things after graduating from school. But I am scared. I don't know why I am scared because how would I know if I do not try? Maybe its my nature to be scared of failure.

These two days, I had a very meaningful Eid I suppose. I talked to my dad non stop as we had a lot of similarities in terms of our thinking. And that is not surprising. :) Alhamdulillah, I know and I do realise that this is not something that any girl gets everyday.

So our Eid had been more about sharing our thoughts on Islam, Malay... The world, Knowing Islam, Remembering Allah SWT, Embracing the Sunnah's of our Prophets and commemorating history. These two days had reminded me of my past ambitions. About my past self. I may describe myself now as a boring person. But I have been reminded of how 'interesting' I used to be :) Hahahaha (Ok, nothing that funny to laugh about)

Have been reading up a lot of sejarah melayu lately. Very very interesting I must say. Now I remember why I used to hate Social Studies so much when I was in Secondary school. There is a lot of things that has been hidden from us. I must say that this is very sad.
To see a world which is turned upside down, Inside out, People being so engrossed about making sure they survive in this world even if it means to not be happy and contented. "As long as there is food on the table now, I am happy". Right!

People acting stupid, blaming God for everything bad that is happening. Masya'allah. Waiting for the writing in the Quran to literally vanish then would they believe that 'kiamat' is near? God forgive me.

Yang Kiamat itu Manusia, bukan Dunia. Yang hilang itu ajaran, bukan tulisannya.

For the hand which holds Malacca, has its hands on the throat of the Vatican.

Tight schedule

The 5th week of our FYP had just ended. Another 11 more weeks to go.
Currently living a life like never before. I came back from the library with more than 8 books! I usually borrow maximum 3. Total books i have on loan is around 15? The librarian said the loan quota was 10. Ziza was like "10? Are you sure?" I think its thirty. But definitely not 10 cos i have 15 on hand :I (jangan jadi wei eng uh)

Currently in love with Islamic Architecture. :)) And I am so freaking tired, My shoulders need a rub. Anyone??

Alhamdulillah...

Ibu, Ayah... Mama & Ayah.
Keampunan yang tidak terhingga,
anakanda hulurkan kerana alpa.
Leka dan cuai telah menyebabkan titik-titik hitam
untuk membelenggui hati-hati anakanda.

Risik, Meminang, Bertunang, Bernikah.
Dalam kontext masakini, aku rasa, berkasih sama seperti bertunang. Cumanya, Kedua belah pihak harus bersefahaman terhadap pengertian berkasih, dimana kedua belah pihak bersetuju untuk mendirikan rumahtangga pada suatu hari di masa yang akan datang. Dengan itu, samalah ia seperti bertunang.

Pengerusi Fatwa al-Azhar, Syaikh Atiyyah Saqr menjelaskan cinta adalah suci, cinta dalam bentuk apapun dibolehkan oleh syarak asalkan tidak dikotori dengan niat dan aksi kotor; ia mestilah tidak bercanggah dengn hukum-hukum syara' dan diiringi dengan cinta yang diredhai oleh Allah.
Cinta sejati boleh dibina sebelum berkahwin asalkan cinta yang direstui agama, dilahir dan dipupuk melalui saluran agama. Islam tidak menentang cinta kerana cintalah asas dalam ibadah antara hamba dengan Penciptanya; manakala cinta jugalah asas kepada pembentukan sebuah keluarga Islam yang harmonis.
Cinta yang dibenteras oleh Islam ialah cinta yang dicemari oleh maksiat dan menuruti hawa nafsu; manakala mereka yang memupuk cinta tapi tetap berpegang kepada ajaran Allah dan mengikuti saluran syarak adalah diharuskan oleh syarak dan seterusnya memadu cinta melalui jalan pernikahan yang sah dan halal.
(Ruj : Syaikh (Prof) Abdullah Nasih Ulwan, Islam wal Hubb (Islam dan Cinta); Syaikh Atiyyah Saqr, Islam wa Musykilatul Hayah (Islam dan permasalahan Hidup); Ibn Qayyim al-Jauziah, Raudhah al-muhibbin wa Nuzhah al-Musytaqin (Taman orang-orang bercinta dan kerinduan)

Aku berdoa agar cinta kita akan diredhai Allah S.W.T
Kerana aku percaya, tiada yang sia-sia
Segala yang terjadi, pasti ada hikmahnya.

SAD

I am so sad that my lecturer said that we should be passionate about our work.
Of course, nothing is so sad about that. But what saddens me the most is that, he said we are not putting enough time and effort for the past one month. Masya'Allah.

This brings me down because I know I have put in a considerable amount of effort into this assignment. Only God knows how much time and effort the class had put in for this assignment.

Sad thing. 12 hrs everyday for school. extra three for homework. sometimes we don't eat. Often, a meal a day. Then we don't get enough sleep. I always ask myself. I don't put aside time for Allah. And I'll feel bad. But I just can't. Funny thing, I know I make the choice.

Enough said. I am not going to sacrifice my valuable time for school. I shall make this clear in my blog. I don't care already. I have more important things to do than listen to the lecturers who don't seem to appreciate any effort that we put in. I am going to do what I think is right.

I will do my assignments and stop to eat and pray, because I know I will work better that way.
I will do my assignments meticulously and not let anyone who does not make sense stop me.

I feel so unstable. So tired. So busted.

Let's go seek forgiveness.

People are people. They just can't get enough of everything.

Sometimes, we look at life as a catastrophe.
We see catastrophe, and we think it is hell.
But what if we are really in hell?

Most of the time, we should look at life as heaven.
Often, we should not take things for granted.
Everytime, we should teach our children about something not related to the world.
Because children would learn about the world from everything they see, hear, do, eat, and maybe smell.

But children will never learn about life after death themselves.
Because everybody has different perceptions about this matter.
If we worry that we teach them the wrong thing,
bring a trusted person who is knowledgeable about this subject.
May these children put their brain to good use.

Thank God!

I think I have been reminded of my purpose in life, again :) To trace back my roots. Yes. The Malay history, fight for the Malay rights or at least, be a real Malay and be a good person, who can answer to people who ask about my roots in the future. Preserve history so that it would not die. Such that the sacrifices of our forefathers would not go into vain. So that the future generation would appreciate this land in the future, even if it is claimed to not be theirs, at least they would feel patriotic, and maybe Insya'Allah, learn to fight for their rights.

Currently doing a research on 14th century in Singapore. The internet has nothing about Singapore's history. So propaganda. Since when did Singapore's history started from 19th century?? This is the reason why I did not like history and social studies in secondary school. They fill us up with crap. So I did not give a damn. Lucky for me, I had my other subjects in control to help me get into poly. Haha. Ok. I'm just angry that I know things that people do not know but they should KNOW! I'm angry at the person who stopped educating us with what we should know. I don't wanna be a Singaporean Idiot as Greenday would sing.

Lucky for me Uncle Rashid and Aunty Rahmah came to my house to tell me all about Singapore's history. I am going to write all that I know and I will document it. It will be a documentation about Singapore's history based on real accounts and not based on only artefacts or internet research.

Never trust internet for Singapore history. Even if it is claimed to be a government site. They spelt Sang Nila Utama as Sang Mila Utama. Oh my god! I am so embarrassed to be a Singaporean for a second there!

People, live to know your roots. Without your roots, who are you? What are you now? Children of capitalism... Even if you claim it to be democratic.

So bored

Current situation:
Bored.
Amazed by Irshaad's lappy.
Still exploring Irshaad's lappy.
Thirsty.
Bored.
Still bored.
Oh GOD help me!!!