Lost my train of thoughts...

hey! I know it's been a long time since I've blogged. Anyways... just to update, just now I met Tarmizi and Azimah at TM to buy Mdm Marini's present. We're meeting her for lunch tomorrow with Farah Idafe. After getting her present which is a clutch bag from Charles & Keith, we went to the 'canteen' beside long john silver and I saw my cousin, Kak Huda, whom I haven't met for so long. It's been like more than five years. She was with her BF, I guess. Saw her carrying a file and a graduation hat. Convocation... maybe... At first I wasn't sure it was her. But the person sitting on the opposite table looks like me! haha... Until when we finished chatting and wanted to go out, which she also got up to go out, then we met face to face at the door entrance... She called out my name. Then was I sure, it IS her! OMG! haha. Then i was like 'ya?' She let out her hand and i kissed it in as respect. Her boyfie kept looking at me at the canteen... so i think she was talking about me. Then she asked me questions about exams, what course I'm in, and stuffs... so ya... So happy sia... She so chio lah. If I look like her, then I chio also huh? haha... anyway, her boyfie look somewhat like azeez from the back lah. haha. But her boyfie quite ok... Azeez is quite... 'Berisi' or fat? (sorry but this is the truth... Azeez, if you tone Down abit, until i say ok, (haha leh gitu?) then your appearance would be a plus point! Seriously, I fall easily for guys whose size are of my choice... )

Hari Guru kian menjelang...

Warkah buat guruku yang tersayang...

Sudah lama aku tidak melihat wajah guruku. Dia meninggalkan sekolahku semasa aku Menengah 4. Dia mengajarku untuk setahun sahaja. Mungkin untuk murid-murid yang lain, setahun itu lama. Namun bagiku, setahun itu sekejap sahaja. Kadang-kala, aku bertanya dengan diriku sendiri. Mengapa jika aku sesuai dengan seseorang itu, aku dapat bersamanya didalam jangka masa yang singkat sahaja? Pilu hati ini teringat akan saat-saat akhir, saat kami harus melambai tangan dan mengucapkan selamat tinggal. Airmataku berlinangan tanpa henti dan aku menangis tersedu-sedu sebaik sahaja kami sudah jauh beberapa tapak. Guruku, sudah tentu tidak dapat melihat air mataku. Cuma, aku teringat apabila kami keluar bilik darjah, menuju tangga untuk turun, dia bertanya aku jikalau aku baik-baik sahaja. Waktu itu, terimbas saat-saat kami mula berkenalan. Mengapa masa harus berlalu dengan begitu cepat?

Guruku telah banyak mengajarku. Tanpa dia sedar atau tidak, dia telah mengajarku ilmu yang ibu bapaku tidak dapat mengajarku. Ilmu pengetuaan dan berkerjasama. Ilmu ini amat berharga dan sangat diperlukan untuk masa depanku. Tidak semua orang boleh mengetuai suatu kumpulan dan dapatkan kerjasama dari semua ahli-kumpulannya. Dari sini, seseorang itu haruslah merendahkan diri dan mempunyai sifat 'sikit lebih kurang'. Dahulu, sebelum Guruku mengajarku, aku akui, aku adalah seorang yang angkuh. Apabila aku dilantik menjadi ketua untuk sesebuah projek, aku akan memerintah sahaja. Murid-murid lelaki didalam kumpulanku mula merasa tidak puas hati. Guruku pula diam dan melihat karenah kami. Bergaduh, meninggikan suara, berteriak dan sebagainya. Tidak lama kemudian, baru aku sedar akan mengapa guruku memilih aku sebagai ketua. Dia dapat melihat kekuatan yang ada pada diriku. Dia ingin mengasuhku agar aku dapat menjadi yang lebih baik. Dengan tunjuk ajar yang diberikan, aku kini berazam untuk melakukan tugasku dengan tahap yang lebih baik. Dia juga percaya akan aku. Itu dia beritahu kepada Ibuku. Apabila aku dapat merasa bahawa dia kecewa dengan ku, aku tahu dan aku terus berusaha supaya dia tidak hilang kepercayaan terhadapku. Hingga kini, aku tahu, kepercayaannya tidak akan pudar dan aku akan kekalkan itu. Aku akan berusaha supaya dia tidak akan melupakanku, kerana aku tidak bisa melupakannya.

Guru yang ku maksudkan itu ialah
Cikgu Marini Bte Hassan.
Selamat Hari Guru...

Qabil kushry Qabil igam

After love is cinta, Qabil kushry Qabil igam (QkqI)... One after another... movies which made me shed a bucket full of tears... you guys should watch these movies either on VCD, DVD or at youtube. For Qabil Kushry Qabil Igam, search QKQI... **Sobs** it's damn sad. For my standard it is. Not sure for you guys... I have a soft heart acceptable with sad situations unlike my friend, Ziza... hehe... I dunno why and how, but its hard for me to cry... i think her heart is made of stone... haha... anyways... im bored. there's no one to chat with online. My younger siblings are asleep and my parents are out with my aunties. Im sure they'll be back soon cos my sister arina is schooling tmr and my father's working... so yeah. Now... i think its addictinggames.com time!

The feel to blog again...

after a few minutes of reading and blog-hopping... Hmms... I have the feeling to blog again. Yesterday we had presentation! For my group... I was the leader, I was the presenter. Haha. And I'd rather do it cos this involves my marks. If i were to let these strangers and some ppl whom i dun trust to do it, there's 50 percent chance im gonna fail. So... Let me do it! haha. So i presented, and trust me, i was quite nervous. Afraid that my content is 'out'! and nervous. Trust me i was hyper. haha... trying to shake that nervousness off... but it was okay. At least i know my content weren't out of point... anyways... sarah had BTT. Hope all goes well for her. Hope she pass!!!

so long nvr blog

So im chatting with my scythia friend right now... Harith... His face like taufik batisah. I've added a new link... www.rudesingaporeans.blogspot.com... check it out yeah... haha... wth... i feel down nowadays. Nobody listens to me. I have my blog but do you guys even read my blog? Life is full of... nvm...

Hey i watched Love IS Cinta! OMG! I cried a bucket of tears! so sad.... go watch at youtube. Haha... Its a must watch although some parts of the story are illogical...

hahahaha

sorry have not updated. Anyway, my class starts at 6pm today... haha... ppl come back from school and i... going to school.. -.-" haha. here's some un edited pics from my album...


Fasha on the slide... haha... to heavy so she had to "walk" down!


Thw fireworks competition from my car... hehe... so nice!


heya!


Why can't you let me take my pics in peace???


At Mr.Teh Tarik's... mmmm....

Honour and Passion

I watched today's episode of 'honour and passion' at channel 8. It, eventually, made me cry. One special part where Ouyang Peipei was drunk and Wenjing was there beside her. Wenjing likes Peipei. But Peipei likes Wenzhong, Wenjing's brother. But Wenzhong likes another girl, Xiaonuo. So back to today's episode, Peipei got drunk because Wenzhong rejected her. He told her that it was only her wishful thinking. The presents he gave on her birthday was actually from Wenjing and that he even had no idea it was her birthday. So, before she started drinking, Peipei called Wenjing to see her. Thats how Wenjing got into this scene. Wenjing didn't know how to make Peipei stop drinking and wanted to send her home. But Peipei persisted on drinking. So he said, why not we drink at another place? So they went out of the bar and headed to another place but Wenjing wanted to send Peipei home. They stopped at the bridge where Peipei suddenly got dizzy, as in drunk... you know. And Wenjing was scared to carry her. I think. So he sat there with Peipei in between his knees and his chest. Ge then started pouring out his feelings to her.

The one part that he said which made me shed a tear was something like this, "If I could, I would bear all your sufferings. So long as you are happy and don't shed a tear. If possible, I would watch over you and not let anything bad happen to you all my life." If only a guy would say to me like this. I shall wait for that moment to come. I would fall for guys with qualities like Wenjing. Because he is a man of a few words. He thinks a lot. Like how would Peipei feel before he acts or say something. He is not scared or afraid, just cautious. Wouldn't it be nice to have a guy like him? He really knows how to touch a girl's heart. After watching this episode, I realized that there are still some good guys out there. Maybe, the time isn't there yet...

Wadafark!!!

Some things aren't just going my way these days. This is so fucking boring. BOREDOM! So tomorrow, if I can start praying again, Insyaallah, I will pray to him. Seek his guidance in what I should do. Boy oh Boy this is damn stressful. I've been crying a lot today. Every block, there's no one time I wouldn't cry.

My mind is in a mess... no words could describe
My heart's in confusion, I don't deny
Boy you know how hard it is for me to pour out my feelings?
I'm one of those who are deprived... (Yeah you can call me that!)

----------------------------------------------------------------
Man I'm sick of your craps
I'm tired of your voice
Saying what you said to me is just gonna make things worse
Can I just not follow the course?

Help me God, You are the only one who knows
How everything works, how my heart feels
'Cos every time tears roll down my cheeks
It makes my heart peel

Hey won't you just cut your crap
I can't take it no more
Just freakin' leave me alone
Let me soar!

Hey won't you stop your nonsense
I can't take it no more
I'm tired of you
You are just a bore...

You pointed the finger to me
When all these times, it was you baby
it was you
It was you who broke my heart...
With your false rhyme

You love to see my heart bleed
How much worse could it get
I'm gonna tell you this again
I'll forgive... But never would I forget...
----------------------------------------------

For guys who craps to ladies. With his words. His messages. His life. He is crap.
Many of my friends are experiencing this too. So on behalf of my girls... Get the hell out of our fuckin life Guys!!!!!!

Steady, Ready, Dunno!

This sux!

Life SUX because of that damn farking friendster.com which has darn bloody problems of its own... and I am so damn fuckin tired of these things. Wwaaaaddaaaafaaark! So damn bloody irritating lar...

Just now had fun going to town before school. me shaad and sarah were couriers for the day. we were supposed to send in our models to the CDL building at republic plaza. So we did. It was a quite enjoyable experience as it is like at the 36th floor. Shaad was like... 'i think it would probably take five minutes'. I was like 'hello? haven't you ever take an elevator in a skyscraper?' haha... siow five minutes. haha... The we went lepaks at Lau pa sat and Esplanade where we started sketching. At school, we tried our best to finish our darn 1m by 1m painting but to no avail. Oh ya. The vending machine at TDS Level 3 is invaded with black ants with ungrounded black pepper sizes. quite big actually but not real big. haha. ewww... Shaad got and FnN grape and there were like more than 6 ants. he drank half of the content of the cup without noticing the ants. He asked if i want some but i saw some black small things moving on the in-side of the cup. Eww!

Stupid Friendster Rival+Hacker!

Dear friends of AmyraAzist. I regret to inform you that my account on friendster has been deactivated. This is due to the virus that has hacked and eaten up my account. This is quite depressing for me. Since I do not wish to spread this virus, (Im a friendster lover!) I'm deleting my account and making a new account at multiply... :s

Friendster... You broke my heart...

Ahhhh.... What telah happen? Im so depressed... sobbs... Tsk.Tsk. When i wanna view my profile, all there is was 'saviour of souls' decorated with stupid emoticons! OMG! Why must this happen to me? to my profile. You jollywell know I'm a profilistic person... How could this happen to me? Im going insane!!! ahhhh! WHY FRIENDSTER? WHY????

Nature at it's best!

[Supposed to be yesterday's entry]
Hola! I went jogging or shall I say Walking with Paca and FiqFlu just now at Pasir Ris Park. So tiring. but worth while. Got to enjoy the morning... or shall I refer it as LATE morning because basically Afiq was late.. haha... NVM. I also enjoyed the playground rides which to me are already theme park rides. haha... Paca and the slide which can't bring her down cos basically, she's too old... Grow up la paca... haha... Enjoyed breakfast and Downtown's Mac.. And a little slacking at Waterbreak No.4 at the beach, listening to Paca's playlist... Most important of all, I had enjoyed the companionship! Hahaha... Gereklah sey... Shall do it more often ya know... haha... I was out from 0700 - 1400. We weren't jogging most of the time mind you...

[Today's entry]
I was viewing through some profiles at Friendster and I saw a guy's profile. His name is Azwan and his pictures are damn cool lar... From his pics, I can see that he enjoys beautiful nature. Like me. :D. If I could, I'd like to find out who this guy is. He goes to western countries like Australia, England and more to see nature's beauty. I don't. Or shall I say I haven't. I prefer going to places in Malaysia because I'm more interested in Islamic Architecture and anything Islamic. But more to the Architecture. I love nature and I have still yet to go to Cameron Highlands. Went there before but that was like when I was tiny. I don't remember anything at all. haha. Should go there. Maybe end of this year? You know, I'd really like to travel malaysia in one vacation. really. Of course I can't do it now. Time doesn't allow me too... Maybe I'd jus go cruising when I have a property in KL, and an international car license so I could go cruising in a cool SUV and enjoy nature. :P

chicadees!

I am so weird... have been realizing that all the time. Haha... I'm quite pressurized right now, I think I need a motivator... I have my Final Assignment to finish by next Thursday, my Marquette to finish by Monday, my sketches and all... And worse still, I am still procrastinating... GOD! I have to strive harder!!! *Hahahaha! I'm watching My Big Fat Greek Wedding! Hahaha so funny sia!!!* You know my plan to see if I do like Azeez by not being in contact with him for one week, I have not been doing so for two days, three including now... so... *wait! why is there noise of kids screaming below? Ooh! National Day countdown! Hmm, there's one at the esplanade... You know? I read it in the papers... haha... Random...* Today, he ended it today. I was lying on the bed when I received some sms stating something like... "From today onwards, we are strangers.." bla bla bla... This is shit man... seriously... I know how he is feeling. Confused... confirm. Tricked? hmms... But what I am sure is that he had made me feel like how I had make him feel now once. Maybe, I've felt much worse. So Mr. Azeez, this is not payback. This is a way God had showed me. I just followed with the flow and you made the decision. Love between you and me will never be created. Although I had liked you once, but that was like months ago... At first, I was shocked. In fact, I was saying to myself... "Hah... Given up already?" '_________' Childish... Now... let me concentrate with my studies... hah.. peace at last... let me reschedule... time management is important...

P/s: Guys are the head, chics are the neck which turns the head wherever they want. Hahahaha!

The story behind the fire engine....

Remember about the fire engine and TP i saw before i went to Sg art museum on my previous post? hahaha... My mom said it was a misunderstanding. The people from the 'blue block neighborhood' thought there was fire here at my estate. While actually, the chinese are having some prayers where they burn paper in the middle of the concourse. you know the prayer where the monk uses the bell, some gods and goddesses come to the human world... the tok-tok-tok-chieng thing... got monkey god all that... that one lah. hahaha. Then they thot got fire... hahaha... i think i saw six TP's today. 4 from pasir ris, 2 at lavender. tp sempat pilih baju... hahaha...
Wahlao... my nose hurts sia from all the dust and smoke and pollution from the paper burning. My house also got ash! second floor mah... my gosh... hope i get to sleep peacefully tonight...

What a very 'hectic' DAY!

How shall I organize these things that had been happening to me today? hahaha.... I didn't know life on 07/08/07 could be this 'HAPPENING!'. Okay, we have to go to the Singapore Art Museum today... with NO transportation PROVIDED! OMG.... So disgusted... So different from secondary school where we were always spoon-fed. So, I got out at around 1245hrs. I reached the bubble tea shop (where I was supposed to meet Ziza at 1300hrs) around 1255hrs. She came late... like around 10 minutes or so... I saw my mum so i went up to her to say hi... then when i came back to the bubble tea shop, there's still no trace of Ziza. I was just abt to msg her when i heard someone calling out my name. Haha... Went to buy bubble tea, and headed to the MRT station. When we were at the platform, i saw some traffic polices and a fire engine at the road below. I wonder what it is about... so, we ignored the situation and waited for the train, with our bubble tea in hand. So rule-breaking! ahha... Design students mah... But i think its more to rule changing. We can't eat or drink but nobody said about eating AND drinking at the same time... I drink slow sia. By the time we reached bedok, ziza finished her drink. I only finish my drink when we reached Dhoby Ghaut! omg. haha. So we went to the art museum together with fidz, shaad, awee and farah. sarah met us at the museum. then took some pics... then after an hr, went to eat at bugis kfc with shaad and ziza and sarah. Went to the costume shop at Haji lane. Saw suhaimi yusof in his car with his wife while jay walking at the back alley, and nina halim when we were at a corner. Had so much fun at the costume shop. haha. I literally punched shaad's nose when he was in the 'berok' mask... haha. hidung dier temting untuk ditumbuk uh... sorry uh shaad! ahhaha... then... we went to lavender MRT to go home.

Tampines MRT Tragedy
We were happily saying our farewell when the train reached tampines. Sarah was like 'Minta maaf dari hujung rambut sampai hujung kaki!'. When she was about to go out, we saw a number of people standing, like in shock, and a train which stopped halfway. We were curious. I think the others in the train were too. We were like so shocked, we were stood to the ground. Then a man with army uniform told us somebody jumped onto the tracks. The P.A system sounded and the passengers were told to alight. So we did just that. I think we were the second batch of passengers to be on the scene. Some people were already crowding on the part of the train where the body was allegedly suppose to be lying. We were like, "eh ape jadi uh??? eh aper jadi uh??? Siape terjun?"... Then a guy named jackson came to us and told us he only heard a loud horn from the train, and a loud cracking sound and a woman screaming. He pointed out the woman who seemed to see the incident, who was a makcik. We went up to her and asked what happened. She said that she saw a school girl jump to the tracks just as the train from pasir ris was in sight. Of course if she jumped, its considered suicide. The trains to pasir ris had been changed to go to boonlay and city hall while people going to pasir ris have to take the bus. We were at the scene for like abt an hour, from there was no CD, till there was the police, CD and paramedics. Like the tv series LIFELINE... haha... So gerek. Then shaad like jakunese take pics of the police barrier. ME, i was taking pics of the scene. Then people started to take out their phones... see... i think fast. I was like, Eh! amik gambar uh! gi hantar kat stomp! (which I did). bangga uh... bangga uh... aper jer. haha. I am so contented that I at least know the story of the tragedy. Quite vague, but still, I don't have to ask a thousand qns on what happened. Many trains came and people were crowding. it was so stuffy that i started sneezing. then we went to the other side of the platform hoping that we could get a better view, and so that its not obvious that we are kaypohs. haha. So, being stuffy and dizzy because of the humidity and all, we decided to go down. We saw alot of people below. In my heart, I was like "yessa! ada lagi view yg best!" so we went to the field and watch the CD remove the body from beneath the tracks. We couldn't get a clear view lar but i think one of the CD sempat amik gambar org kat bawah. haha... kalau jadi gambar tu, senang jer nak spot kite sebab ziza pakai bright yellow! hahaha... Then, when its like 1900hrs, we went to take the shuttle bus home (ambulance ngan fire engine pon da jalan). This time, it was our turn to say "minta ampun dari hujung rambut ke hujung kaki" to sarah cos we can't follow her to the interchange. hahahaha. When i came back home, and ayah was back, I told him what happened. He saw the scene too actually.


His part of the story
Ayah said he was at Outram when he heard that the train journey to Pasir Ris was disrupted and he was quite mad. He can't be bothered to get out and stop at simei, so he acted as if he was asleep and hoped for the best. when he reached tampines, he could see the body (wrapped already) on the stretcher, passed behind him and the medics/CD brought it down the stairs. lucky for him, the train moved on. hahaha.
I asked him, what happened to the body? why the ambulance didn't take it? He said, the ambulance only take in injure ppl, not dead ppl. I was like, oh yeah.. haha... why didn't i think of that? hahaha.... slow sia. No wonder the ambulance didn't on its siren. haha. So, i asked again, what happened to the body? The Aik Tong take lah... "the undertaker" my sister interrupted. Amirah... adik kau lagi cerdik! wake up amirah! wake up! hahaha. No wonder i heard sarah saying something about aik tong. At first i thot it was tong taik or something... hahaha... tomorrow i post the pix k? if god willing.

There we a few memorable parts during the incident. While we were at the platform, we had time to draw 'conclusions'. Maybe the girl jumped because...
Amirah: Stress lah... exams what. maybe 'o' levels...
sarah: no lah the money fall onto the tracks... then she want to take
ziza: Stress uh...
Shaad: (I forgot what he said) haha sorry shaad
Let's just wait for the news tmr.

Next, when we were at the field, a woman ask, what happened... All four of us were so excited, we took so long to tell what happened. dier pon diperbodoh2kan oleh kite. Ziza: becareful u know... (cos she started to rub her arms after hearing our story) now maghrib already...
Lady: Huh? what Margaret? The girl name margaret uh?
Us: Huh? what margaret? hahaha. yayaya... the name margaret chen.... hahaha... no lah... maghrib la... evening in arab! hahaha
Kurang ajar seh kite. Budak mati pon nak make fun... tapi serious uh... fun! hahahahahaha......

Wishful thinking -Not Over!

Hhahaha... I was looking through farid's pix at friendster when i suddenly found luqman's account!!! OMG!!! hahhaa... Can't get over him sia... he's so cute.... Omg! after all these months... hahaha... Get a grip mirra... But I know... I just admire him because of his look-as-if-he-wears-eyeliner eyes... hahaha... fat hope im gonna get him... k stoppit...

Today... It feels like i was drunk yesterday. My oh my... A revolution took place and i had a talk to myself... I don't know if i like azeez... after he showed me his true colors, or maybe he was faking it, I was startled. How shall i put it?? i think im confused with my own feelings. Im giving what shaad told me a go.... Give yourself a week. If you feel the urge to give him an sms or chat with him, that means you like him. If you can ignore him, then that means you dunt have feelings or like him. Thats what i had done! i totally ignored him today! except just now when i accidentally gave him a nudge... wth...Nyahahahahaha!!! after Alot of 'Bz?', 'Bz btul u?' and 'BZ?', there comes 'Ken at leastsaesumthing?' Nyahahahaha! Muahahhaha... No... Not yet... Im not going to give in... hahahahaha......

now i remember...

Just now i went to bedok south blk 18 to eat, we were looking forward to the mee rebus there... nice and cheap! OMG... but then we were too late... by the time we reached there, there was no mee rebus... hahaha... wth... then i ate roti prata... not knowing that there was lamb in the curry!!! ewwww! dah lah kari cair... im not going to eat roti prata there... Then we saw my father's cousin who had retired from the police force. At least he was an ISD. He works under my other father's cousin, Cik Faridah, but doesn't know they are related until just now... hahaha... so funny. And we heard in a few months time, she will become a superintendent, once she gets her masters. whoa... Working for the govt when you have good qualifications is a good choice as it is stable, if you have psle only or o levels, then might as well you work outside... thats what my father told me. My uncle, the latter, retired at 45 and is now working under an oil rig company. He has a diploma and degree in engineering... wow! hahaha... and now, he is encouraging me to join the police force. Haha, im not cut out to be a policewoman... Hahaha.... at least i think so... but i've been thinking, why not i improve my physique? I was once fit... Played soccer, run, high jump, taekwondo, basketball, badminton... maybe i shoul bring sarah to the school gym... haha... Luckily i didnt go to the SAF interview... i would have regretted... but army is not for malays... the range is too small... police, we can go far... like one time, i went to the SAF exhibition, they say malay can't go far as some of the trainings, there is no halal food... Maybe I'll ask azeez to join the police force for NS... He will be getting his diploma... confirm kalau die sign on, leh amik degree, die nyer gaji lebih lumayan... I dont know how much my aunt earns but her treasures in terengganu is quite a lot! and my uncle earns 6000 a month... wow! hhahaha.... Iz, you wanna go gym bring me along k????

Alalalala! I'm crazy!!!

I woke up this morning and went straight to watch tv as usual... then azeez smsed me and asked if he could call me. I was like... 'hmm... why not?'. So we chatted on the phone as I hang out the clothes and do the laundry stuffs. Trust me, I was so paisey when I accidentally dropped the bamboo pole and 'melatar'. hahaha... kental lah minah... mcm nenek2... He was like "ouch! kuat nyer melatar!" hehe... sorry Iz... haha... I love talking to him on the phone...
Dah lama tao tak bebual... sekali bebual, semua topic keluar... Adeke patut dia 'motivate' ain sampai ain nangis? kesian adik aku... Takpe adik, kakak dah marah die... Hilmi pon marah kat Iz... haha... padan muka u... kene marah... hehe :P Ain, Azeez is trying to help u k? i dunno what he said to you that made you cry but he just want to help you by motivating you k? don't take it too hard, and abg emi, jgn marah Iz lagi la... I wanna go out wid the 3 of you tapi korg gaduh plak... haiz...
Okay until here, my mom interrupt uh... org ngah blogging... seme kat dalam otak ni dah blank.... tak tau ape nak tulis... haiz.... dah penat2 pk... kla..

Oh My GOD!

I'm still lethargic from yesterday... and from this morning... been shedding tears because of pressure and irritation, to sad stories that I have been watching on tv. Haha... Emo-lah katakan... So I didn't blog yesterday. Here's the story.

YESTERDAY
I came back from school, exhausted, to find my brother playing maplestory. I was quite mad at him because every time I want to use the laptop, there must be someone using it. And I always use the laptop for a purpose ok... So I was like nagging at him but obviously he couldn't hear because I was soft and he is partly deaf, due to listening to loud MCR music in his room... So then I calmed myself down by watching the Chinese drama "Kinship". Until like 8, when ayah had came home from work, I told my bro to stop playing the maple thing so that I could use it. When I use the laptop, there will always be something wrong. Ayah was watching the news with Nina, my 15 year old sis when mikhail, my 5 year old bro came to ayah and asked him to make him a bottle of milk. And Nina and me basically hates it when Mika disturbs ayah when he is watching the news. Ayah will always nag and nag and nag. My father favors his 'anak jantans' to the girls... The computer dahlah lagging due to the maple story download! I was saving my work when the document wasn't responding! whoa liao!!!! And then he complained, "Ape je Amirah ni buat, hari-hari buat bende sama tak habis-habis". Like hello!!! I did not use the laptop the day before ok! I shouted "Oh! kalau anak dier pakai laptop, dier diam... bile orang pakai ader jer..." of course by that time, tears came flowing like a river. I got fed up, I restarted the laptop without proper shutdown and when it started, i went into my sister's account and delete the maple files. When i finish my work, I quickly shutdown the computer to do my chores. Then while doing my chores with my sis, i start complaining to my sis about my bro and my father. My father, at that point of time was watching the friday night show at suria. He was crying watching that show. haha... Like father like daughter. Then me and my sis got a plan. If tomorrow (today) Matin (my bro) doesnt wake up at 8, we're gonna bash him up. (lucky for him, he woke up before we did) So then after we did our chores, we lepak inside my room. I started drawing a portrait of myself when somebody splashed water on me. Obviously it was my father. Dah membebel abih buat kelakar. gilak punya olang. Obviously, he sensed that we were not happy at him and he needed company to take my mom. So he decided not to be mad at us anymore. He said "Salah tu! hidung draw salah!" I was like -whatever!- Then me and nina got ready to accompany him to take my mom. We went to simpang bedok to eat. Lots of food... satay, mee hor fun upeh, murtabak sadin and daging. And there were only 4 of us plus one of my mom's friend. kak ana. It was our supper. See, i eat heavy supper... haha...

Today
i woke up and watched tv. The first drama i watched was a drama at rtm2 starred by lisdawati. I just love her and sheila rusly... haha... Then the next was hindustan, starred by salman khan. I cried during the two dramas.... omg!!! hahaha.... takleh angkat sey... start dari situ uh mood emo jer.... I wanna go bathe uh... Ader one of the LIFE RECORDS crew nyer jemputan. Maybe I can spot some artistes there... haha... tangkap glamor jer keje.... hahaha.....

I am so happy you now understand. But there are some things you have to improve on... :P

The E-mail

Yesterday night, I received a sms from Azeez stating that he had sent me an e-mail. I think its adjacent to my past blog entry about him... The message must have gone right into his head. The e-mail was quite long actually, but what touches me most is the words which he ended his letter with,

"You may be the most valuable diamond in e universe, n if no thief could actually steal you away from me, i'll finally believe in fate"
you may despise me fer all you want, i thank god for the opportunity to finally let out my feelings.

OMG!!! I was so touched laa!!! He actually 'touched' me real hard this once. Alhamdullillah... Today, he did not message me. I know it's partly my fault that the only way for us to communicate is through phone calls and smses... Because everytime he asks me out, I'll reject his offer. Actually, I am a girl who likes going out, but in groups. Not just with one person. To me that would be damn bland! Maybe I can't go out this national day... We actually planned to watch the fireworks... Maybe we'll plan another outing, the one where Aeynn and Hilmi can join! Ahhh! Ratatouille!!! I completely forgot!!! haha... we're gonna watch that!! hahahha.... okok.... set... but i'll have to ask him again. :I

Sarah and ziza also wanna watch that show... hmms.... Design students have no vacation durin the month of Ramadhan. And guess what? I have school form 12-9 in the month of ramadhan!!! Hahahaha... OMG... Macam mana nak terawih??? nak buka pon mcm mane??? hahahaha.... kekek uh....

Oklah... until here... cya...

"Belajar dari segala kesilapanmu, jangan ulangi sekali lagi
Agar kita dapat berterusan berteman, hingga akhir hayat kami"

Sehari tanpanya

Sehari tanpa pesanan ringkasnya... tanpa panggilan darinya... kurasa tenang... adakah ini akan berterusan ataukah kita berdua akan bertemu kembali? Kisah ini tergantung buat seketika. Aku tidak tahu apa yang dirasainya. Tetapi, aku dapat merasakan bahawa dia amat kecewa dengan keputusan ku... Aku tidak pasti. Ini hanya suatu kemungkinan. Sesungguhnya tiada insan yang sempurna. Namun, jika ada keinginan untuk bersatu, haruslah ada kepercayaan pada satu sama lain. Dalam hal ini, aku langsung tidak menaruh kepercayaan kepadanya. Kepercayaan yang ku beri kepadanya, diambilnya dengan senang-lenang. Setelah kepercayaan itu hancur, tidak dapat ia disatukan kembali, seperti seribu serpihan kaca. Hancur musnahlah segalanya. Cukuplah. Aku sudah muak dengan ini semua. Tiada guna aku melayan karenah orang yang suka berdegil. Sakitkan hati sahaja. Walaubagaimanapun, aku tetap ingin tahu apakah perasaan yang menghimpit hatinya yang sedih pilu.

Hari ini, kurasa gembira. Walau hati sedang berkecamuk dengan perasaan sedih dan bingung, aku mempunyai teman-teman yang dapat membuatku lupa akan segala masalah... (kecuali masalah pelajaran... hehe) Aku bersyukur dengan kehadiran mereka dalam hidupku... setiap kali aku bersama mereka, aku dapat 'melebarkan sayap dan terbang jauh, tiada liku-liku dapat menghalangi'. Mulut aku akan menjadi sepert tempayan, murai, atau segala mulut... Bising sekali... haha... Itulah tandanya aku gembira... Bila aku gembira, aku boleh menjadi seperti kawan ku di METTA atau OrgGilak! hahaha... Oh ya! Baru aku sedar bahawa sudah lama aku tidak meng-edit gambar-gambarku! Yang pasti, aku akan menjadi sibuk hingga 17 Ogos ini...

Ps: I swear I do not look forward to this year's NDP...