Last day of 2009....

In a few hours time, It would mark a new year. But we would still be the same people. It is just a year... nearer to our death... So be thankful to Allah for letting us stay in this temporary world and enjoy his fruits... Giving us time to prepare for the Hereafter....

Beestung

Life, as we have already know it, is full of ups and downs.
Sometimes, we get misunderstood, sometimes we get insulted and most of the time, life would be unfair for us.

I don't get why I get misunderstood sometimes. Or maybe, most of the time. Maybe I was complacent and arrogant? Maybe more to impatient? or too ambitious?

What I know for now, is that I have pretty much learnt how to be patient and how to handle difficult situations with a clear mind.

Thank Allah S.W.T for His guidance... I have been able to take everything that happens with a pinch of salt. My sister would say that I am weird, but hey, it is the truth. Not everything can be seen with your naked eyes. Most of the time, internal and eternal happiness would be achieved when you look with your inner eye. That is when you look at things that happens in front of you optimistically.

If something bad happens to me, I would say that Allah SWT wants to replace it with something better. One example would be my laptop? When I lost it, of course it was heart-shattering. But He did replaced it with another laptop which is much better and I am so thankful for that :) Syukurillah.

Having a smile on our face is different from having a smile in our heart. When we smile in our heart, it means that we are contented with what we had done, we are doing, and going to do. How do we smile in our heart? When we do something that is best for us, in the name of Allah. When we remain focus on what we want to achieve everyday. When we don't worry about the future and accept everything that has been written for us.

Do you believe that Allah SWT will give only the best to His creations? You, as a Muslim, have to believe because you believe in Him.

Why don't I feel exhausted?

Guess what? Today is literally 'work' day!

9-3 at BLG. I thought I was late... But when I reached the office, Boss have yet to come in. Buat cuak ajer. Then I sat until 11 plus until boss came in and that was when I got released from the suffocated feeling of doing nothing but sit around. Told mama Gi, "when some one is used to do heavy work, she would feel tired if she is forced to sit." And mama Gi said, "Ya, and the ones who is used to sit at work, find work like this tiring..." Pretty true.

I don't really feel tired at all! :) WOW! [ok, why is my window wide open?]

So after which I headed straight to O'braim :) And the rest is history, hehe. Tomorrow, I will spend my day at O'braim again. heh. Goreng Pisang O'braim Panas-Panas!

Happy Day :)

I feel so happy that I can't sleep. And tomorrow, I have to wake up at 6 or 7 latest. The reason to why I am happy is because I managed to make some good decisions today... Decisions that would make life easier and much happier for others. :) Syukur alhamdulillah.

I can tell you that I've changed the way I look at things. Now, I would like to look at things positively. And shall constantly remind myself that there is no such thing as 'But it's just too bad. you've had the best days of your life' or 'I can't do it, because I am not a prophet'. These are all pessimistic quotes which we should hinder.

I recommend you to think positive, seek for guidance from Allah, look, listen... For those may be signs. Never think of any negativity at all because we human beings are more attracted to negativity than positivity, It's all mind over matter. :)

I wish I could share some of my experiences with you but I am pretty tired already. :) I shall just put it in a few words all right?

Sincerity does not need a tongue, nor does it need an eye.
Compassion is you before me.
Appreciation needs a smile, even if a dime.
Contentment is being thankful and not asking for more.
With these, you'd achieve the greatest love of all,
loving YOURSELF.

Ya habibi, Ana Aihbak...
Ana bahibak, Ya Hakam...
:)

Romeo And Juliet

My love story is a bit much like New moon (one of the Twilight Sagas).

Even if there is a dream guy out there waiting for me, ready to love me...
Until you leave me for another lady in your heart,
My head would not stop thinking of you.
Every breath I take reminds me of the things we did together.
And my heart would always feel lost and shaky.
Like as if, it is really only beating for a man like you.
And until these two hearts combine,
my heart will always ask for yours.

~I'm sorry. It has always been him.

Day one.

Tonight, tears accompany me as I dream about him.
Maybe, I would not dream about him.
I have to be strong. This may be hard.
I still love him.
That, no one can change.
But if he is happy, I am happy.
I guess.

Mungkin

Sudah suratan?
Aku dan engkau, tidak akan bahagia.
Kerana dua Dunia kita yang sangat berbeza.
Hidupku untuk akhirat, tidak pernah kau terima.

Aku gagal.
Aku mengalah.
Sungguh aku berserah kepada Dia yang Maha Kuasa.

Sujud Mengharap.
Bukakanlah matanya,
Terangkanlah hatinya dengan kebesaranMu, Ya Khudayah.
Hanya PadaMu aku berserah...

Selamat Tinggal buat kali ini.

Peristiwa Subuh

Good Morning world :)

I feel so good today :)

Yeay :)

You never know what a Solat can do to you :)

It changes your day automatically even if it isn't over yet :)

Masya'allah... :)

Thinking of changing my blogskin to something more.... Matured looking. hmm...

Nausea

Now then I realise, making people happy does not mean that you will achieve happiness.
I forgot that the greatest love of all is when you love yourself.

Masya'allah. Ya Allah forgive me of my sins. This world is a lie. Why did I look forward to this world? Ya Allah, You have already warned me. The only happiness lies in Your path. Ya Allah, why is it that I can't 'talk'. When I talk, nobody listens. But You gave me a gift. A gift of writing. Portraying my feelings through words... Even if sometimes, people don't get me. But I doubt so. Because if people don't listen, they read. Alhamdulillah.

Ya Allah, I feel lonely.
Why ya Khudayah? Ya Allah, I feel like giving up. I don't know give up on what. Maybe give up on this world? Turn to Sufism.

Ya Allah, I feel sad tonight.

Joglo

My FYP allows me to go deeper into Islam's history which has greatly influenced the Malay history especially in Indonesia. I have to admit that sometimes, I get lost in time and space and most of the time, I can't get back to reality.

I don't understand, why the world is so cruel nowadays. I dream of being in the past, and I like it there. But here I am, stucked in a world full of hatred. Where people like seeing others suffer. And envy those who are living happy lives. Is that the way to live?

Anyways, Did you know that Islam in Indonesia is far more stronger than Islam in the Middle East? My father always say that if people had to do their pilgrimage in Indonesia or other countries, No one would think of going to Mecca or Medina (Saudi).

I went once for my Umrah and I can still remember it vividly, eventhough I was only 9 when I went there. (Gosh, it has been like 10 years?) I am lucky that I was serious about my Ibadah at that age. Alhamdulillah. It is so undeveloped at that time. The Airport? Masya'allah. The service? worse...

I still remember having to queue in a very long line. The aircon was like half dead or something, maybe it was just the body heat from the others. The funny thing is that when it was near to get our passport stamped and 'written on', the officer can close the counter and have coffee!!! Hahaha.... I don't know, maybe I'm used to good service. But still?! Like Sultan, Like citizen. Though I must admit... that not all Arabians we saw were like that. That one, we call Arab Dugul.

Some others could speak in Bahasa Indonesia and was happy when they see us (Malays). But if they ask where we were from, my father always said 'Malaysia'. Father said, they like Malaysians... They don't like Singaporeans. Some think that Singapore is still part of Malaysia. So Can la... ahhaha. At least, better than you say Singapore is part of China right??

I'm not complaining but it makes you wonder what the Sauds are doing with the money they get from the Pilgrims.

The Sauds should do something huh. Something should happen there. Le's just see. Mecca is already flooding you know...

I feel like I am having a headache now. I feel like, I want to do a lot of things after graduating from school. But I am scared. I don't know why I am scared because how would I know if I do not try? Maybe its my nature to be scared of failure.

These two days, I had a very meaningful Eid I suppose. I talked to my dad non stop as we had a lot of similarities in terms of our thinking. And that is not surprising. :) Alhamdulillah, I know and I do realise that this is not something that any girl gets everyday.

So our Eid had been more about sharing our thoughts on Islam, Malay... The world, Knowing Islam, Remembering Allah SWT, Embracing the Sunnah's of our Prophets and commemorating history. These two days had reminded me of my past ambitions. About my past self. I may describe myself now as a boring person. But I have been reminded of how 'interesting' I used to be :) Hahahaha (Ok, nothing that funny to laugh about)

Have been reading up a lot of sejarah melayu lately. Very very interesting I must say. Now I remember why I used to hate Social Studies so much when I was in Secondary school. There is a lot of things that has been hidden from us. I must say that this is very sad.
To see a world which is turned upside down, Inside out, People being so engrossed about making sure they survive in this world even if it means to not be happy and contented. "As long as there is food on the table now, I am happy". Right!

People acting stupid, blaming God for everything bad that is happening. Masya'allah. Waiting for the writing in the Quran to literally vanish then would they believe that 'kiamat' is near? God forgive me.

Yang Kiamat itu Manusia, bukan Dunia. Yang hilang itu ajaran, bukan tulisannya.

For the hand which holds Malacca, has its hands on the throat of the Vatican.

Tight schedule

The 5th week of our FYP had just ended. Another 11 more weeks to go.
Currently living a life like never before. I came back from the library with more than 8 books! I usually borrow maximum 3. Total books i have on loan is around 15? The librarian said the loan quota was 10. Ziza was like "10? Are you sure?" I think its thirty. But definitely not 10 cos i have 15 on hand :I (jangan jadi wei eng uh)

Currently in love with Islamic Architecture. :)) And I am so freaking tired, My shoulders need a rub. Anyone??

Alhamdulillah...

Ibu, Ayah... Mama & Ayah.
Keampunan yang tidak terhingga,
anakanda hulurkan kerana alpa.
Leka dan cuai telah menyebabkan titik-titik hitam
untuk membelenggui hati-hati anakanda.

Risik, Meminang, Bertunang, Bernikah.
Dalam kontext masakini, aku rasa, berkasih sama seperti bertunang. Cumanya, Kedua belah pihak harus bersefahaman terhadap pengertian berkasih, dimana kedua belah pihak bersetuju untuk mendirikan rumahtangga pada suatu hari di masa yang akan datang. Dengan itu, samalah ia seperti bertunang.

Pengerusi Fatwa al-Azhar, Syaikh Atiyyah Saqr menjelaskan cinta adalah suci, cinta dalam bentuk apapun dibolehkan oleh syarak asalkan tidak dikotori dengan niat dan aksi kotor; ia mestilah tidak bercanggah dengn hukum-hukum syara' dan diiringi dengan cinta yang diredhai oleh Allah.
Cinta sejati boleh dibina sebelum berkahwin asalkan cinta yang direstui agama, dilahir dan dipupuk melalui saluran agama. Islam tidak menentang cinta kerana cintalah asas dalam ibadah antara hamba dengan Penciptanya; manakala cinta jugalah asas kepada pembentukan sebuah keluarga Islam yang harmonis.
Cinta yang dibenteras oleh Islam ialah cinta yang dicemari oleh maksiat dan menuruti hawa nafsu; manakala mereka yang memupuk cinta tapi tetap berpegang kepada ajaran Allah dan mengikuti saluran syarak adalah diharuskan oleh syarak dan seterusnya memadu cinta melalui jalan pernikahan yang sah dan halal.
(Ruj : Syaikh (Prof) Abdullah Nasih Ulwan, Islam wal Hubb (Islam dan Cinta); Syaikh Atiyyah Saqr, Islam wa Musykilatul Hayah (Islam dan permasalahan Hidup); Ibn Qayyim al-Jauziah, Raudhah al-muhibbin wa Nuzhah al-Musytaqin (Taman orang-orang bercinta dan kerinduan)

Aku berdoa agar cinta kita akan diredhai Allah S.W.T
Kerana aku percaya, tiada yang sia-sia
Segala yang terjadi, pasti ada hikmahnya.

SAD

I am so sad that my lecturer said that we should be passionate about our work.
Of course, nothing is so sad about that. But what saddens me the most is that, he said we are not putting enough time and effort for the past one month. Masya'Allah.

This brings me down because I know I have put in a considerable amount of effort into this assignment. Only God knows how much time and effort the class had put in for this assignment.

Sad thing. 12 hrs everyday for school. extra three for homework. sometimes we don't eat. Often, a meal a day. Then we don't get enough sleep. I always ask myself. I don't put aside time for Allah. And I'll feel bad. But I just can't. Funny thing, I know I make the choice.

Enough said. I am not going to sacrifice my valuable time for school. I shall make this clear in my blog. I don't care already. I have more important things to do than listen to the lecturers who don't seem to appreciate any effort that we put in. I am going to do what I think is right.

I will do my assignments and stop to eat and pray, because I know I will work better that way.
I will do my assignments meticulously and not let anyone who does not make sense stop me.

I feel so unstable. So tired. So busted.

Let's go seek forgiveness.

People are people. They just can't get enough of everything.

Sometimes, we look at life as a catastrophe.
We see catastrophe, and we think it is hell.
But what if we are really in hell?

Most of the time, we should look at life as heaven.
Often, we should not take things for granted.
Everytime, we should teach our children about something not related to the world.
Because children would learn about the world from everything they see, hear, do, eat, and maybe smell.

But children will never learn about life after death themselves.
Because everybody has different perceptions about this matter.
If we worry that we teach them the wrong thing,
bring a trusted person who is knowledgeable about this subject.
May these children put their brain to good use.

Thank God!

I think I have been reminded of my purpose in life, again :) To trace back my roots. Yes. The Malay history, fight for the Malay rights or at least, be a real Malay and be a good person, who can answer to people who ask about my roots in the future. Preserve history so that it would not die. Such that the sacrifices of our forefathers would not go into vain. So that the future generation would appreciate this land in the future, even if it is claimed to not be theirs, at least they would feel patriotic, and maybe Insya'Allah, learn to fight for their rights.

Currently doing a research on 14th century in Singapore. The internet has nothing about Singapore's history. So propaganda. Since when did Singapore's history started from 19th century?? This is the reason why I did not like history and social studies in secondary school. They fill us up with crap. So I did not give a damn. Lucky for me, I had my other subjects in control to help me get into poly. Haha. Ok. I'm just angry that I know things that people do not know but they should KNOW! I'm angry at the person who stopped educating us with what we should know. I don't wanna be a Singaporean Idiot as Greenday would sing.

Lucky for me Uncle Rashid and Aunty Rahmah came to my house to tell me all about Singapore's history. I am going to write all that I know and I will document it. It will be a documentation about Singapore's history based on real accounts and not based on only artefacts or internet research.

Never trust internet for Singapore history. Even if it is claimed to be a government site. They spelt Sang Nila Utama as Sang Mila Utama. Oh my god! I am so embarrassed to be a Singaporean for a second there!

People, live to know your roots. Without your roots, who are you? What are you now? Children of capitalism... Even if you claim it to be democratic.

So bored

Current situation:
Bored.
Amazed by Irshaad's lappy.
Still exploring Irshaad's lappy.
Thirsty.
Bored.
Still bored.
Oh GOD help me!!!

This is it!

Now I think I have my answer. The answer to why I feel dead. Why I feel like I am not being myself. For these past 10 months or more. And I still wonder though... What had been missing? Why is it that I don't feel my own presence? I thought I was lost.

I remember those times though, when I used to blog frequently... Reflecting on my life. I would always wonder... Why was I given the signs? Even if I do not ask for it? For the past few months that I've lost myself, I think I had been too arrogant to even see the signs. I was so arrogant that I did not even notice I was being arrogant! What a big pity.

But now I know. What had kept me for being me is family. My beliefs. My way of life. Reflecting everyday, putting it down in words... I just loved reflecting. Oh those days. The days where I cherished every moment of my life. When I knew whatever I was doing... When all I cared was to make people happy, not for making people accept me! Why did I change? Why did I change for the worse?? Now I am talking to the girl in the mirror. Now I know what is wrong with her!

God forgive me and my sins. There is nothing I need most other than You. For You are my guide, for you are my light. You shine my way when I led myself into the loom (like 90% of the time!) And you were always there for me... even when I did not notice you. Sometimes I even forget you. Damn me. Now I realise that I do not deserve to go to Your heaven at all. Oh Allah, have mercy on me. Because I do not have the strength to step in Your hell, let alone be Your hellfire.

I felt the ground shake at Far East Plaza just now. Ideas came into my head. What if the building were too fall? Would I still be alive? What about my siblings? Will I get the chance to tell my mom I love her? Would I be able to ask for forgiveness from my relatives and friends? Will I even be given the chance to repent? If I die, and I don't repent, that means I would not have any chance to repent! I will go to hell?! I pushed the thoughts away. Too much to handle.

Then we watched "This is it". MJ. My all time favourite. My idol since I was six. Why people love Michael? Now I know. He is humble. No matter what race, no matter who are you, even if you are amongst the enemy, he will still say "God bless you", "I love you". His tone of voice is so soft. It is as if he is singing but he is actually talking. The way he brings himself is so exquisite and fine. The way he works... very detailed. He is the best of the best that only the best can work with him! masya'Allah.

He gave me the chance to see this movie. To see for myself, what I had been missing. To help me find my answers. I am so touched by His care and love. So touched.

Alhamdulillah Syukurillah, for I have found my answers.
Thak you Allah.

'HALLOWEEN' Freaks Me Out...

Pfft... what a day! Went to Ang Mo Kio today... Recce the Town Garden. Pretty small area... But we were amazed by the awesome background that the softscape gives us for our photos. Such lush greenery!

One good thing is that we had to climb up the hills. After three months of solid 'Heavy' lunchs and no exercise, we went back to square one and started on our Final Year Project. Yeah baby, work it out! Tomorrow is going to be Fort Canning 'Day' For us. Haha. Gonna leave home early in the morning and start our recce.

Then we went to watch Halloween with Ziza's family :S I swear I felt like crying and vomitting through out the whole show! It gave me no room to breath. I could only gasp. Luckily, Hakam was there to make me feel safe. Even though it felt so awkward because I was sitting next to his mom. :l Okay, I am going to relax and calm down. Next week, my favourite cousin is getting married! But tomorrow... jeng3... I'm gonna see him again! Teehee! Can't wait. :))

Nobody knows what kind of love we share.

Now that I am back!

Got myself mobile broadband from M1 :) So... I can get internet access anywhere, provided I bring my lappy. But I'm not going to do that everytime. Even if I do, I have to be very careful.... So that I would not lose my Laptop any more :)

Something has been smothering me... I had an argument with a friend that time. After reading my posts, do you think I have problems with my english? I mean, I know I did not get a distinction for English during my o's but Seriously?

I asked her that if she thinks I had problems with my english, why don't she correct it? So I asked her to correct me. And guess what? She could not answer! Pfft. Come on lah. Oh ya, she had problems with my TycoPrincess nick name. *Clenches fist* Come on lah! Anyone who has played pool with me knows that I'm Tyco... She thinks tyco is good? You don't know the rules of pool is it? If I wanted to show off, I would have nicknamed myself "PoolPrincess" Or some name. I really don't like this kind of people. Problematic.

Ok now I'm done venting my anger. haha. Everytime I think of her, it makes me angry. I can't believe I was so good to her last time. Badigol kan? Now, she's like a backstabber. You know, in Malay there's this saying... Bagai melepaskan anjing yang tersepit. Like you help a dog, what does it do after that? Thank you? No... It runs. I can't Believe I was good to a female dog.

BTW, Happy Birthday Mika! I can't believe you are seven... I thought you were 8!!

Great Book!

"I Believe You"

http://www.goodybooks.com/ibelieveyoufn.htm

“You’re like the North Pole of a magnet bar, and Jacky is also like the North Pole of a magnet bar. There’s no way for both of you to be close together. There’s a force that’ll always push you both apart. This force is called the obstacle, like interest differences, communication problems and etc.“However, if you put a metal bar in between, both you magnets will stick to it. And you’ll be close to each other. That metal bar dissolves the force that pushes both of you away. And that metal bar is what we called love.”

*How nice!!!*

This book is actually about a NJC girl sufferring from OCD. The journey tells of how a schoolmate helped this introvert demise her illness, and they end up falling in love. The twist? Both believe that they can't love. :)

utterly BORED.

So, I decided to take this picture of the office desk that I have been working on. It's ONE of the office desks, to be precise. The other, is much more... *ehem* messier. HurHur....

Notice the two cordless mouse? I always get confuse between the two haha! And I'll end up getting irritated at myself. You might wonder why I need a laptop when I have a Desktop... well, its simply because, the Desktop does not have Autocad installed... and my laptop? Well, there's no wireless internet access available :( heh. How Cool...

Ok, the fax machine's ringing! (That has got nothing to do with me but yeah... bye!)

Reply Post To Azimah Azman

My dear friend Azimah has posted a very powerful video in her blog. It is a quote.

Excerpt From 'Coach Carter'

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkess that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were all meant to shine as children do. Its not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear,our presence automatically liberates others."

Now, how would I reiterate this quote in my own words? Well, here it goes.

We are most afraid of being powerful, not of being weak. By acting weak, it does not do any justice; there is nothing good about being small so that others would feel comfortable around you. Everyone is meant to shine; as children do. And as we let ourself to soar, we sub-consciously allows others to do so. And as we are freed from our own fears, our presence automatically frees others from their fears.

In a nutshell, when you are 'average', people are comfortable with you. But when you are excellent, you allow other people to excel with you.

I have a life lesson that has something to do with you (Azimah). I used to be bad at maths and never wanted to excel (since Pri 2) because none of my friends do. And I hated being a nerd, although I used to look like one. I wanted to be cool in school. So I did not really care about maths. And so, there was a bunch of us who hated maths, and only a handful of 'nerds', I must say.

But, it was only in sec 4 (where I met you) that I realise I had to be good in maths. I did not care how, but I managed to open my heart to accept maths. When I accepted maths, I listened and paid attention more to the teacher. Although some of the guys in our class were fooling around, I still wanted to learn. Of course, I could choose to be 'cool' and join them. But I did not want to. I can act like I want to be good in maths and practise everyday, and drown myself in the 10 year series. But nothing would be accomplished until you learn to accept and learn from your mistakes and remember not to do it again.

So, when it was time to apply, we have to practise. This part is the most challenging because you want to still look cool. But 'cool' in another way and also a positive way. Of course you can choose to ask your friends and they will tell you they know nuts about maths. Especially when you have a bestfriend who would squeeze her pimples every time when she starts doing her 10 year series. (Sorry Lynn! haha) Now, how depressing is that??

Did you remember? That was when I looked and turned to you. I wanted to be good. You looked like you are keen in being good. There was nobody whom I could look up to at that point of time. We were into cliques and the class was not that good in maths. So that made the situation difficult. Tell me one time when Ms Cheong (our maths teacher/FORM teacher) would come into class and not nag at us about maths? ahaha. And we would make fun of her hair and what not... haha. Those days... But hey, she was the one who made me accept maths. I owe her big time.

So yeah, that was when I started being diligent with the 10 year series. *New best friend aye.* And as I thought you were approachable bacause you seem keen to excel, I gave you a call when I had problems with maths. In return, you'd stay up with me, doing maths all night... haha, ON THE PHONE! How cool. But that was the best moments I had in life. I gained 2 new best friends there. Good and real best friends. And now, as we have achieved our goals, we look up to each other. Imagine having a lot of friends... sharing the same friendship like we have... Always looking up to each other. Never stepping each other down. And we tell each other how we look up to each other and we mean it. :) Alhamdulillah for a friend like you.

A healthy friendship needs reciprocation. If one tells you that he/she looks up to you, never ever let her down by disregarding her remark. Always accept it and thank him/her and reciprocate. Find something that is good about her, and tell her. There is nothing to lose, in addition you will gain a real friend of a lifetime.

Like the quote above Azimah, you wanted to excel and you allowed me to. You let me excel because without you, I would still be clueless about maths. Although both of us were not that good, we had the same interests and we generate each other's logical thinking skills. And we learn together. We deciphered each questions together. I never regret that moment of my life. Never.

Until we meet again,
Assalamua'laikum :)

Masyallah

Bukan mudah Ya ALLAH…
Berdiri di tangga kemewahan, kenikmatan dan kesenangan
Keindahan dunia ini menganggu ku
Kemanisan hubbu dunya ini mencarik-carik imanku
Dimanakah aku tanpa kecintaan padaMU

Aku runsing Ya ALLAH
Aku berlari ke sana dan ke sini
Aku mencari dan terus mencari
Dimanakah ku tagih cinta Ilahi
Bagaimana harus ku bayar nikmat yang Kau beri
Sedang aku tidak diuji
Maka saat aku tidak diuji, adalah ujian yang terbesar sekali
Andai bisa aku berbicara denganMU
Dan ku harap Kau mendengar pengaduanku
Sungguh aku bukan bercakap kosong
Inilah keluhan hatiku
Yang merindu cinta MU, yang mengharap keredhaan MU….

Ampuni aku Ya ALLAH
Aku lemah lagi tak bermaya
Melawan sesuatu yang digelar fana dunia
Aku tak mampu Ya ALLAH,
Belenggu ini menghimpit ku…
Belenggu ini menghiburkan hatiku
Sehingga aku senang denganya
Sehingga aku takut kehilanganya
Sedang cintaMU itu sangat luar biasa…
Sedang cintaMU itu lebih dari segala-galanya…

Sungguh aku tak layak Ya ALLAH menghampiri syurgaMU
Dan pasti menggeletarlah seluruh tubuhku mendengarkan api nerakaMU
Lalu ke manakah langkahku
Selayaknya dimanakah tempatku
Atas redhaMU ya Rabbi..
aku hanya menuruti
Andai aku diseksa, kan aku patuhi
Asalkan Kau meredhai hidupku ini

Terima Kasih Ya ALLAH kerana sudi menyayangi diri ini
Terima Kasih Ya ALLAH kerana sering mendengar pengharapan serta pengaduanku
Terima Kasih Ya ALLAH kerana sering bersama-sama denganku,
tak kira apa keadaan imanku
Sesungguhnya Ya ALLAH,
cinta ku hanya milikMU…

*taken from azraqjuniormuslimahgirl

Renungan Ramadhan 3

Sesekali kita terbang meranjau, manggapai langit. Dan sesekali kita jatuh, terhempap mencium bumi. Apabila perkara itu berlaku, apakah kita akan terus mengalah dan serik?

Seandainya kau melihat redup renungannya, mungkin kau akan sedari, mungkin kau kan fahami...

Seringkali kita ucapkan syukur kepadaNya, dan selalunya kita bertanya apakah silap salah hingga mendapat balasan seperti ini. Sebagai manusia, kita leka. Leka bahawa dengan ujian sebegini, ia mengingatkan... Ia menyedarkan. Itulah petanda untuk pulang ke jalan asal.

Mengapakah kita selalu mempersalahkan orang lain? Mengapa kekadang kita rasa diri kita ini hebat? Mengapakah acapkali kita tidak ambil peduli, berkata dan mengucap sesuka hati. Maka itu lah saat-saat apabila diri leka.

Renungan Ramadhan 2

Seseorang itu harus mempunyai keyakinan diri apabila membuat sesuatu keputusan. Itu sudah tentu dan tidak dapat dinafikan lagi. Jika dia tidak yakin pada dirinya, tentu dia sudah bertanya kepada orang yang pada pandangannya lebih alim.
Namun begitu, jangan pula kita sangka bahawa, jikalau seseorang itu bertanya kepada kita tentang sesuatu, dirinya itu lemah dan dia mendongak kepada kita. Jangan sesekali engkau sombong. Sebenarnya orang yang suka bertanya itu lebih bijak daripada orang yang suka memberi jawapan.
Bayangkan, seseorang yang suka bertanya akan menujukan soalan yang sama kepada lima orang yang berlainan pendapat. Dia yang untung kerana dia mempunyai lima jawapan dan terserah kepadanya untuk menggunakan akal fikirannya supaya dapat menapis informasi yang tidak realistik atau relevan. Dan sisanya adalah jawapan yang 99% tepat.
Manakala orang yang merasakan dirinya itu alim (berpengetahuan) dan tidak memerlukan pandangan orang lain, adalah orang yang paling rugi kerana belum tentu jawapan yang telah diandaikannya sendiri itu betul. Lalu diberitahu jawapannya kepada orang lain. Jika salah, malulah dia, dan bodohlah dia kerana dia telah mengikut ‘kepandaiannya’ membabi buta selama ini.
Namun, tidak semua orang yang suka bertanya dan berpengetahuan seperti itu. Sebab itu diadakan akal dan fikiran. Segala kejadian adalah unuk kita nilaikan sendiri. Hanya Allah S.W.T yang maha bijaksana.

Renungan Ramadhan 1

1
Lebih seminggu Ramadhan sudah menemani kita. Banyak yang dapat dipelajari and kini, banyak juga yang dapat direnungkan. Alangkah hibanya hati ini terasa apabila mengenangkan nasib yang kita, kaum manusia sendiri, cari.
Apakah benar kesejahteraan dan kemakmuran itu hadir kerana kita? Ataukah, kesejahteraan dan kemakmuran itu hadir kerana kelalaian diri kita sendiri?
Kerana kita tidak mengambil berat tentang orang lain yang tidak senasib dengan kita? Lalu kita menginjakkan lagi semangatnya dengan mengheboh-hebohkan kekurangannya? Lalu si polan sabar dengan keterangan itu kerana dia tahu bahawa dia, yang mencacinya itu tadi, tidak akan faham pekara yang dialaminya kerana dua dunia mereka berbeza. Lantas, Sang Sombong membodohkan dirinya lalu berjalan lagi megah. Adakah itu wajar dan patut dilakukan?
Pelbagai jenis manusia hidup di dunia ini. Terlalu banyak jenis untuk dinamakan. Untuk kemudahan, dan supaya tidak ada perbelahan, kita anggap diri kita SAMA. Maka itu lah kesalahan dan kekurangan kita. Sebenarnya, kita tidak sama. Kita semua adalah lain. Entiti tersendiri. Cap jari kita lain. Mata kita lain. MUNGKIN sahaja, hati dan kepercayaan kita yang sama.
Mengapa kita selalu lalai, hingga melampau? Terlalu lalai mendatangkan riya’, kejijikan, dan ia akan memudaratkan diri kita sendiri. Selalu kita lupa pada ‘nawaitu’. Seringkali kita lupa bertanya akan kenapa perkara itu boleh terjadi. Dan acapkali, kita leka kerana kita telah dikurniakan ni’mat yang terlebihnya daripada Allah S.W.T, hingga kita lupa pada diri kita. Adakah engkau berpijak pada bumi? Ataukah engkau masih berada didalam khayalan sendiri? Sedarlah.
Mengapa kita hidup begini? Seperti orang yang tidak ada arah tujuan? Kais pagi , makan pagi. Visi kita tidak sama dengan kepercayaan kita. Tunggu, adakah kita faham akan kepercayaan kita itu? Apakah kepercayaan kita? Kepercayaan yang telah dinodai dengan dunia yang kita lahirkan. Islam. Apakah itu Islam? Adakah kita hidup dengan cara Islam yang sepenuhnya? Apakah kita sebagai umat Islam, mempunyai pendirian sendiri? Adakah kita masih mengangkat agama dan kepercayaan kita seperti mana diharapkan Nabi Muhammad S.A.W ? Ataukah, kita masih lalai dang terlalu terpengaruh dengan dunia hingga kita melupakan asal-usul. Bangkitlah.
Kita adalah panji-panji kepada agama yang amat mulia ini. Jangan kita suka bertengkar sesame sendiri. Jangan kita suka merendahkan satu sama lain. Jangan kita suka membongkakkan diri kita dan terus berjalan menghadap ke langit. Astaghfirullah.

To All Muslimins and Muslimahs...

Selamat Menyambut Bulan Ramadhan
Yang Penuh Barakah Dan Kesucian

Semoga Segala Amalan Kami Diberkati Allah S.W.T

*Maa fi Qalbi Ghairullah*

Syukurullah

Hello people! Long time no blog... heh... *cheeky smile* Have been busy with work... Juggling two jobs which are filling my life positively. Very nice... So fulfilling :) God, I am so thankful that I have two bosses who are very nice pwople. And what's nice is that both my bosses work with their spouses! Haha. So sometimes I feel like being treated like a kid. Ok, not sometimes... Its all the time!

-Sometimes people aren't thankful. And sometimes, it hurts.

Alone in the office

:) Alhamdulillah.
I currently am still in love with my SIP :) (Yeay! Sambut Raya @ BLG!!)

*Ya Allah kurniakan lah ketenangan dunia akhirat
selamat kan kami dari azab Mu
tunjukkan kami jalan lurus Mu
kami memohon hidayahMu
dekatkan kami sunnah Nabi Mu"

Bored.

Omfg? almost been 1 month that I have not updated my blog?? haha. How... Funny?

I have a lot of things to say.
Alot of complains, and alot of new experiences to share.

However life seems to be a routine.

I'll share once I get out of this 'boring' state of life.

You are not alone

I feel lethargic to do my model... Tsk. MODEL! Ahhhh... Model... Tsk... I have approximately 48 hrs to finish 2 models... and I dare say that one model would take like 6-8 hours... Minus 5hrs of school+journey to and fro. 8 times 2.... 11! Yeay, 11 hrs of sleep? Great!

Can I just do one model?????? I have been procrastinating and this is the day I have to face my fears. I have to do it! I have to do it! I must do it! That's it!

Go fresh up... Do a good job. Fast and Smart. :) Let's Fight now. Pray as hard as you'd work hard in life.

Insyallah, everything will end soon.

-Guilty as I am...

What was that?

Basically I got a position as an intern already at a company run by a malay ;) And I am very happy to have accepted the second offer. What second offer you might ask. Well. Here is my part of the story.

Companies were issued to us before our two weeks break. I got mine and was given 15 minutes to think about it. I almost wanted to acccept the offer because of the people, and the job scope and such. However, after calling my father, I opted for self-procurement. After class, my father gave me a list of companies. But none of them caught my eye. I still wanted that company though I know that its going to pay me peanuts.

I never sent a resume. The next few days, my father told me he might know the managing director of the company. So I called to ask if he was the one my father was talking about. True enough. I accept what had been written. We came to another conclusion after discussing and he kept the place for me. Alhamdulillah.

So tell me now. Am I lucky or what?

Electrifying Shock.

He's coming back today! Yippee!

Student Internship Programme. Very... Justifying I suppose. It made me realise why am I in this Environment Design Diploma. After more than two years of being stucked inside a 'chamber' with uber number of failures, the question imposed remains to be, "Have I made the right choice?" A couple of endurance and there you go. A door opens for you. A new opportunity, a new perspective.

"You mean, they were all lies?" No, I shall not take them as lies. What these people tell us that makes us think twice does not really happen to everyone. Especially, not them. Oh tell me, if they had gone through all that disastrous moments successfully, would they be where they are now? You mean they are superhumans? Very humble people? All I see is people who could not go futher so they push us to chase their dreams. I am NOT saying that this is BAD but sometimes, when you push too much, you do get off guard. Is this what you want to get at the end of the day? Hopefuls being uncertain of their own dreams and thinking twice about their passion?

"FORGET IT! I'm getting out!" Some might say. But they say, it is when you want to give up that success is near. And maybe I can feel that for myself. Not success in terms of academic, but Success in keeping what I believe alive. I almost gave up and wanted to throw my passion away. Just get that damn cert and let's run away from here. Don't look back. But God has showed me a way. A new perspective. One thing that I will keep and I will always remember. This will bring me through my whole life.

I have learnt that not everybody are like the ones they describe to us. Not everybody likes to demoralise people. Not everybody are like that. So SCREW THEM. Let's move on with a life I wanna lead. A lot of people deserves to be the golf ball in my jar. But some also deserve to be sand. So I am not shakened.

Movies...

New Moon Coming Soon!

OMG. The trailer already makes it look so good!
I wanna watch!!!

'New Moon' Teaser Trailer @ Yahoo! Video

Long Hiatus

Apologies people... I had been long one from the cyber world for a while, but guess what? Now, I am back! (yah, right) Mama Nur actually bought me a new laptop which is quite similar to my old one. Costs much lesser but better graphics. I can't believe I had been cheated once again! Omg!

The last one (V3790TU) I bought about 9 months back (?) costed 2099 but this one (CQ35 - 112TX) costed 1799. Same brand, HP Compaq. But the difference? V3790TU was latest that time, and it had the 'best' specs. 14 inch, 2.4gh, 3gb ram, scratch-resistant, what else could you ask for? But CQ35 is now the latest series and it has free upgrade from 2gb ram to 4 gb, nvidia graphics card, 13 inch, lighter than that of V3790TU and plus, fingerprint reader and 2.4 gh. The higher performance version has 500gb hdd and 4gb ram. processor is 2.6+. But 2.4 is already fast. what more if it is working on xp. haha. Wow...

Ok enough said about laptops. I got my hard disk drive and also optical mouse (wireless) for free... Hehe. Mama Nur was a real bargain queen! (the salesperson said so!) She wanted to have that laptop for 1500? Wah... *Faint* But at last we got it for 1590. settled then.

Now I haven't got enough sleep... waiting for ziza to finish doing her hair, while 'enjoying' my coffee... OMG. I forgot coffee makes me sleep!!! omg!!! no wonder I am soooo sleepy!

Ok I am dozin off already...

Gd luck for presentation Ziza! nights....

:)

Yeay, at least I can still do autocad at home... :)
Although I don't have the convenience to do it in my room :(
But at least... I can do it at home :)
Alhamdulillah.
Dear laptop, when will you be coming back?
Maybe I should pray harder...

Being in design, especially Environment Design, is a very challenging phase of my life.
And without my laptop, I am sure it'll gonna be a hell of a time.
All I know, maybe, Insyallah, life will change - sometime after July.
Until then, we'll just have to live life as usual... I think.

Good luck with exams people (",)

Depressing...

I had already went to make a police report. :) At least I can be sure that my laptop is categorised under 'stolen' already. It is so depressing how I can't do my design work without my laptop. I am going to reboot this computer soon and try to load Autocad into it. Such a sad thing that I can't have my laptop with me at times like this. Lappy... I miss you. I am going to leave it up to Allah s.w.t. Insyallah, my laptop will return back to me. If not now, later.

I am so careless. Useless me. oh dear.

DEVASTATED!

Ok people! Guess what? I lost my LAPTOP!
OMG... There's a lot of things inside my laptop...
Its like my 'portable' studio! I detached my battery pack and adapter from it...
And yet, someone wants to take it! (Of course lah, unattended what)

I wanted to print my document and Xorex was like full of people...
So we went to IT printing shop instead, where I left my laptop on top of the boxes and printed my documents. When I paid for it and started sorting out my documents, I think that was when I became absent-minded. Not even 10 minutes and it was gone! Just like that! $4k... GONE! OMG...
And it is not even a year! What to do?? Maybe an IT student took it, I don't know... But I really hope someone returns it to me! Seriously...

Maybe I should ask Faridah's help. I don't even know how to tell my father!

Its all about you, baby.

My withdrawal.
My fears.
My tantrums.
My mood swings.
My obliviousness.
My schedule.
My cravings.
Me.

The best thing about you, You ACCEPT and TOLERATE these.
No guys do.

Every night I cry myself to sleep,
thinking 'why does this happen to me?'

Anugerah

They they are strumming and pressing away... one, strumming to a rock song which I do not recognise and the other playing the piano to 'better in time'. And here I am, cad-ding away! (But I'm blogging, so that practically changes cad-ding to blogging - oh whatever)

Just a brief explanation on my agenda last night. I went to Simei (my cousin drove us there). Initially, the idea was to support my uncle, and then visit my Gramps at CGH where he was warded. Alas, I wasn't able to see my Gramps because I wanted to wait for Tarmizi. (That briefly describes what kind of a granddaughter I am. Sorry Gramps. So then, I also missed my uncle's performance, because I was at LJS alone, eating my dinner. (My family did not wait for Tarmizi with me, they went to CGH and came back only around 7.30) While waiting for Tarmizi, I went to shop, but I ended up talking to a long lost primary school mate who kept on bragging about her life. Come on lah. She is engaged and getting married soon, migrating to Australia too. She confessed she is BIsexual and made out with my former best friend (LES, by the way). Should I go - "Whoa! cool!"? Nah. Rather not! Lucky her, I did not give her a long lecture. Let her just be happy with her so called 'minah-ader-future' life. Anyhoos.

Anugerah was filled with 'Dressed-up-Malay-Guys'. Never seen alot of them who are good looking in one place before. Thought it was heaven for a while, but my boy is more good-looking. 8) Alhamdulillah.

oh dear whats wrong with my lappy??

*I don't care already*

Strength

Let the tears speak for itself.
Let the hopelessness show.
May the oblivious be evident.
And let me hope that I will be stronger,
like her.

How does it feel?

I can't believe it.
I can't do anything when she is sad.
I wonder what kind of friend I am.
Should I call her?
But, I am afraid.
I know she would not want to talk.
Should I?
Maybe I should give it a try...

Disturbia~

Watching Criminal Minds on 5.

Iamsotired. I am SO TIRED!

Oh my god. I am sooo tired. I am so tired. I am so tired.

you won't understand.

I am so saddd.....

He's Got A Hot Girlfriend!

And I have to get back to work soon...
I gotta draw, draw and draw...
I am so gonna use Autocad for now cos drafting manually would take such a long time. But I am not that sure for details though. Maybe, details drawing would be on manual. MAYBE! Actually, most probably. ok anyway, why am I talking about school in my blog???

I had a fun cheery day at school today! Basically, only 3 pairs went for consultation. Hah. Take that. and it took 3 hours! k... haha. more than that I suppose. Well, lucky us...

*God, Please Make It Stop!*

The devil wears prada Again!

Is this a sign?

Things are happening, and these things are portrayed in the tv shows that I've watched, and the songs that I've heard... These same things are happening again and again. Sub-consequently... Continuously... And I keep wondering if it is a sign...

I hate it when I have to be busy with school and I get too engrossed with it, I just don't know or do not realise people calling me or msn-ing me. I just can't take this. I am as guilty as charged! (As what Ziza would say...) Ugh. I need therapy... I need more time. I need to make time.

I am NOT in deep sh*t. I am Not in deep sh*t. I am NOT in deep sh*t! (Meditates...)

Lazybum

If I have to work or earn by writing, so be it. I just love doing it! (Provided that I have enough sleep and inspiration) So. What shall we write about today?

My junior from secondary school, had her face portrayed in the papers today! I thought to myself, how lucky it is for her to be there, in her position right now, a position I had visualised of myself to be in some time, a few years back. Singing, acting, being in the entertainment industry would be cool... But maybe I am not prepared for that now. For fun, maybe yes. (God! Mika is singing by the window sill... What the!)

And after 'work', I karaoke-d and then I lied on my bed with my laptop and began surfing away. What did Indulged myself in? Youtube videos of celebs and paparazzi's. That was unintentional though. Everything was unintentional. Dang. Is it a sign??

Haha. We shall just go with the flow k.

So addicted to this song because of its beautiful meaning...

Antara 2 Cinta - Raihan

Apa yang ada jarang disyukuri
Apa yang tiada sering dirisaukan
Nikmat yang dikecap
Baru kan terasa bila hilang
Apa yang diburu timbul rasa jemu
Bila sudah di dalam genggaman

Dunia ibarat air laut
Diminum hanya menambah haus
Nafsu bagaikan fatamorgana di padang pasir
Panas yang membahang disangka air
Dunia dan nafsu bagai bayang-bayang
Dilihat ada ditangkap hilang

Tuhan leraikanlah dunia
Yang mendiam di dalam hatiku
Kerana di situ tidakku mampu
Mengumpul dua cinta
Hanya cinta-Mu kuharap tumbuh
Dibajai bangkai dunia yang kubunuh

Sad one...

http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/04/23/bullying.suicide/index.html

I don't know why I feel so... angry... Especially after reading this article. Especially when I feel like the mom is oblivious. She let her son get bullied? Tried a few times, nothing happened? Hello?!!! Try agin and again and again lah! That is America. Things don't happen if you just talk ok! You think its like Singapore? You complain and complain and 60% chance something happens? And when your son is dead you tell us that something has got to be done. Ya. Isn't that too late now?? Should have confronted the boy now shouldn't you? At least should have not gave up on encouraging your son to speak up. I guess, you have not been doing what a mom should do.

I empathize the boy. He is so cute, eleven years old.

Lucky to have my mom.

Miley And Swift on charts...

Although Taylor Swift went down steeply from #1 to #10, I do not mind because... My Miley is on the top of the charts! Whee...

Dang I read a lot.

Going Bonkers

Japan... Japan.... Japan....

Heard the news? A shocking article caught my eyes while I was scanning through the yahoo! homepage. Guess what? Japan is paying foreign workers (Latin Americans of Japanese descents) to go back to Brazil and once they agree, they are not allowed to find a job in Japan anymore. Not even their children can go back to find jobs. These people are kicked out of their 'homes' with a bit of cash! I'm sure these 'Americans' were shattered.

The main reason to Japan's decision was that they wanted all jobs to be taken by their own citizens. Which I must say, is not wrong. You are the government, you take care of the people. When your people need jobs, get them jobs. But why 'throw-out', specifically, the Nikkei Americans? Do their numbers make up the majority of foreign workers in Japan? Why can't they create more jobs?

Maybe, they have a problem with America too...
It's so obvious.

Article Link


Did you know that starting a business during recession has its benefits??

*I am not going to chase the world. I want to chase the afterlife. And the world will chase after me. I won't let myself be blinded.*

Growing Up to be like 'Em~

Hah! My two loves...

Destiny Hope and Demetria Devonne

Don't they just look good?

I Feel Good~~

We went to school today, and guess what? The interchange was packed with TP students and we had to take a cab because we did not want to be late for our CDS class which is named Effective Internet Research (EIR). The lecturer used to teach him also. And since she was from IT school, it was funny how she complained about our computers not being updated with the simplest macromedia flash player. Any pop-ups regarding requests for download of plug-ins seems alien to her. Haha... Well, thats design school's level 4 labs. We should have used the mac lab instead then.

Guess what? Our lesson started at 9.30? And it ended at 10.30 (cool or what?) we rushed down to go for a break since we have not eaten and on the way down, we saw farah and sarah with the assignment. So we spent the rest of our time of EIR on the Assignment. Trust me, I haven't felt this 'chiong' before. haha. Which is kind of good... :))

And today we watched 'Jangan Tegur'... It was cool how we got swee-swee seats to fit the number of couples that we had.

-How the actions of a man can change the life of others...-

TOTAL FUN!

Mummy!!! I am sleepy!!!

Well, today, believe it or not, we stayed at the library for 10 freaking hours, doing our work! We are supposed to do some construction detail matrix as a group and dang, there were like 112 different details to be drawn. I feel like, we have done only a little. Is forty enough? haha. But we were supposed to work with another group so that will be 8 of us. Apparently, no one ones to be with our group as yet, so we had to stick with us four...

So. I am so sleepy right now, and it is funny why pasir ris is not raining, just as yet. Plus, tmr, we will be watching jangan tegur! yeay!!! malam jumaat tgk wayang... *ok that was sarcastic*

-Hoping that Ziza's hands will get better-

First Day Of School as a Senior...

A link to a particular video that moved me, and made the hair on our back stand.
Susan Boyle - I dreamed a dream
I could not embed the video because it was not allowed -_-"

First day of school was not that bad, just a morning filled with happiness as we saw long-time-no-see friends, laughter as we made fun of people and also induced by our so-called funny jokes. And a tinge of jealousy as we saw those who had got the CDI projects and the Director's list... And the fun that the Freshmen and some of the juniors/seniors had after orientation. Maybe, like Moses (our director) said, I am not well-connected. Well... Not that well-connected as I used to be... maybe. So shall we start coloring our portfolio with some cool stuff this year ZizyZieza?

I am so gonna make use of this one year wisely. I will put my money in my mouth.
But I'd rather, get some sushi before I do that. At least sushi tastes better... Sushi anyone??

Decisions

I have made my decision.
I have made a stand.

I will put money into my mouth whenever it opens.

This time, Trust me.

Happy 17th, Nina!

I would like to 'preach' this to you, but I'd spare you from the 'lecture-like' speech or wish. Well, its a wish but its also something that I would like to write down into the birthday card but I'm afraid, I would need a big birthday card... So, we shall just pen it down into a blog post now, shan't we. ;)

Basically, now that you are 17, I would like to share some things with you. When I was seventeen, a lot of things happened. Since I was a December baby, I would be in Temasek Poly, a freshman indeed. I got my 'o' level results, I felt success, got into the course of my choice... (First one, indeed!) Seventeen... I can say, I was a little bit playful still... Had a lot of guy friends who liked me... Well maybe it was only 3? But still. A lot of things... This is the time when we think, we know what we are doing. But, my dear, it is not. We are still naive. This is the time, that we think we can live life independently. Still, my dear, we have a long way to go.

This life we share, in this family, is a unique one. We are like kites. Kites with long strings. Which I hope, would not snap. And Ibu and Ayah would be the ones pulling us when they think we are going to the wrong direction... And one thing about kites; as the kiteflyers pull them, they would soar even higher. Good kiteflyers would take huge risks to let their kites soar higher. But good kiteflyers are so good, their kites would not snap. Because these kites are attached tightly onto strong strings - in our case, our foundation. Alhamdulillah, our parents may not be good kiteflyers... but they sure are responsible and the best. :)

In my life of 18 years (gonna be 19), there are a lot of things that I've seen, I've learnt... And I've noticed. I am quite a forgetful person, as you may have already know, so when I see things happening before me, be it good or bad, I would summarise them into 'lessons learnt'.

I'll share with you three things that you might wanna know, or take notice of in the mere future...

Firstly, the richest man is always the man who is thankful. Do not regret, for everything happens for a reason. Do not sigh, for each sigh is an opportunity for failure and weakness. Always smile, even if you had the worst day of your life.

Secondly, respect. Respect yourself and people would respect you. Never give in to guys at this age. Never let people bully you. Never let your friends pressure you. Do what you feel is right.

Lastly, Dreams are not meant to be games in your sleep or in your free time (daydream). Chase after your dreams. Do not let anything stop you. Not even love. Family yes. Love as in guys... no. The one true love, is only love for Allah s.w.t. And then love for Rasulullah s.a.w. And then Ibu, Ibu, Ibu. And then Ayah. Remember that!

I wish, I could share with you more. But this post is getting too long already! haha.
On a last note, Happy 17th Birthday, adikku sayang.

I Can't Stop...

Ziza's post about 17 again just sums up what I want to say about the movie tonight. Totally agree with you babes!

Hmm... I guess I've had it with people controlling my life... Although, indirectly... or unintentionally... I feel that my self-respect is being fooled-around with. And they just don't understand. Because they claim to love you. And that is why you have to follow what they say. But you know, it is wrong. I guess I took a wrong turn somewhere? I do not know. But I'm not regretting. I still believe things happen for a reason. And for this case, it means that I have to learn to stand up. :)


*Human, being human, they are just difficult to be satisfied*

Sore Eyes...

Listening to: Yesterday Once More by The Carpenters

Well, Sore throat for her... and sore eyes for me. Coolio. My eyes were swollen when I woke up. I guess something must have got itself stuck inside my eyes at night. And I had a bad dream last night which had caused me to startle or 'meracau'. God. I dreamed about two small cute ants helping each other out. And then suddenly there was a big ant... The one which you can see especially at graveyards... That particular thing fell onto my head... And I was like... Nvm. Anyways. I guess, I am very much influence by her. I think about her everytime. But, too bad for me I guess. Had the best days of my life...

Yipee... Watching '17 again' later... With Ziza and her bros... And also Hykel, that little rascal whom I find cute sometimes... Except when he asks me for mango cake... And also Uncle Key lock Pad.

Okie dokies. I gotta go... Gotta get out of my 'plumber's assistant' uniform and get ready to be 'Quirky Me'.

"It is more shameful to distrust one's friends than to be deceived by them."
- Duc de la Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680) French writer.

Plans...

just a short post...

I want to bring my siblings to watch '17 Again'... also in celebration of nina's 16th birthday...
And I wanna eat sushi!!! Who is with me???

Clear conscience

I am a person of that type. That's why I get easily intrigued by small things.
I will work hard to gain back trust. Will do it for anything.
Oh only He knows how much I love you.

Nur

The girl who can make me laugh my heart out...
The girl who can tear my heart into a gazillion pieces...
The girl who brought light...
The girl who guides.

I also know her as a very patient person.
Whose life-companion should protect her like a gem.
Never take her for granted.
And guide her more than she'd ever expect.

*Slowly, I will pull you back into my arms...*

If only you knew

That I regret whatever I did till it made you to be like this.

I do not think I am at that stage where I can solve a 1 million piece jigsaw puzzle yet.

But one thing for sure, I believe things happen for a reason.

Insyallah, one day, you will realise...

That you are no better than me. 

-I knew that a long while ago. I'm prepared.-

Ayamas

Maybe it was because the ayamas was bought from singapore?

Maybe it was because I micro-ed it... I did not follow the conventional directions of cooking it.

Maybe these was why it turned out dry. 

Still, my Mr.Sleek makes the best Ayamas... hee. 

I was so touched that you woke me up today, dear. Alhamdulillah.

If Only I could know...

I would brave the storms to know what is in your head.
I would wrath in the coldest sea just to see you smile again.
Because when you are on the verge of losing someone dear,
You would want to hold tight and pull them back in again.

I guess, I was too caught up with my own problems.
And so I paid less attention to you.
You have every right to be unhappy or upset.
Can we talk? I really want to talk to you.
Can I lie on your shoulders and cry like before?
I have a lot to share with you.
But you seemed withdrawn. Me, being me... I had to face everything myself with no one to talk to. I thought, life was the hardest when there was no one to talk to. It has always been.

I want to share my problems with you, only you. But again, you seemed uninterested. Why? I always wondered if dating your brother would be the biggest mistake. But I know it was not. You just have to accept it. But if only I could know this was bound to happen, I would not say 'yes'.

I know this is unrelated to being trusted and all, but I just want you to know today. That you are a big part of my life. And I can't bear to see anyone I love, not trusting me or they are pulling themselves away from me. I will do anything for you because I love you like my own sister.

Brightest shining star of my life who would light up my darkest nights. Without fail, you are always the one who is right. That's why I love you.

The best gift from God, who would teach me and guide me... We learn together. But most of the time you were the big sister... And I feel so secured.

If only I could know what is in your mind right now. Oh how desperate I am, wanting to know what is it that I have done. I am so forgetful... And I am not a great person. I know. So please, Guide me like you had always done.

On another note, I Love You. :')

- When you are on the verge of losing someone dear, you would do anything to pull them back in-

Ok whats happening in life?

Basically, these are my life's updates.

1) I have switched to M1 mobile plan instead of starhub because, starhub is eating up a lot of my money! -wasted.

2) For this week and the rest of the weeks, my granny would not be visiting my house anymore... So I have a new addition to my routine, which is to send my brother to my neighbor's house. cos no one is gonna take care of him before he goes to school...

3) My cousin went to Indo! I wanna follow!

What else...

4) I had just realised something about myself. I detest stinginess... And I don't really like people intruding into my affairs when they do not know anything.

5) I am so not disciplined nowadays.

6) I can't wait for EVD outing and 17 again...

Lastly, 15 May.... Damn, thats freakin long!!!

Craving...

Whats with Bisexual-ism, Lesbian-ism, Gay-ism... I saw one of my friend today, who is kinda... soft. He was with a group of friends, exactly like him, and there were like 20 of them? Kekek!! Should have recorded it.

Oh then I had just found out my former-bestfriend is a 'les', and the 'lass' is like damn cun. Alas...

Maybe its a sign. The world has turned around. Repent.

Anyway, another thing would be, whats with people, craving???

I had my cravings too... And fortunately for me, I got to satisfy myself... With the help of Mr.Sleek... I had my Cheese Fries, Zinger, McSpicy, Hotdog pretzel and I got him... heh. (Cheeky sey)

Dang I am Hungry yet again.

'Let's not care what others say. As long as we know our stand and ground.'

dreams Dreams Dreams.

They say, dreams are games in our sleep.
Some say, dreams are the opposite of reality.
And He says only dreams that come around three plus in the morning would be true.

I had good dreams last night.
I dreamt I was caught by the police for doing something I did not. But the police department and the government is one nasty one. They take advantage of women prisoners. Sounds like a bad dream. Yah. The thing is, I looked at being imprisoned as a situation. Not a problem. Heh.

Ok then. This is when the cool part comes. I fell in love with a prisoner that I was on duty for. He was my long lost childhood crush. Lol! Usually (in the dream) prisoners would hit the escorts (like me - in the dream!) in revenge or anger. Thats why the stupid police gave the women prisoners or detainees the job. And mind you, I have not appealed and had my verdict yet. And was already punished. Luckily God protected me. If not, I don't know whether I would wake up from my sleep.

So yeah. And I had to escort my long lost lover to the court for his verdict. He too had not done anything wrong. I think in the dream, we were standing up for our rights and for the truth but ended up being imprisoned. Thats life in my dream. Sad? nvm. ah kay... so. Let's continue.

Not once did he touch me. He said to me. 'Amyra, Run away with me. We have to get out of here.' Then I agreed. I wanted life, but not in prison. My love is in front of me. I just had to say 'Yes'.

You know, the song 'Love Story' by Taylor Swift really compliments this dream!
So. Back to the dream...

We got out in the end. I forgot how. But. Yeah we did. But I remembered, I left my hand bag at the prison. I wanted to get it back because I could not live in peace without my wallet and handphone... and make up... all the things in my bag. Haha. Even in dreams?? But he insisted that we should not go back. But I was stubborn. And he was stubborn. But we kept running forward. The police never knew we were out until...

I don't think they knew at all. Because they are stupid remember?

- We were both young when I first saw you... -

BEST DREAM EVER!!!

Hectic-ness

Taylor swift and david archuleta. What do they have in common? They are not that good looking but i don't know why the toots I find them cute!

Here's a MV of this song Zieza intro-d to me.

So addictive. She is like the 'kellie pickler' in the MV as she had insisted... Enjoys.

On a personal note, I think that the guy is stupid cos obviously, kellie is much more prettier than that girl he went away with. Looks and brains. Do they match?

Long time.

It has been such a long time since I've blogged.
Well, at least it feels like so.

Anyways, there is something that I would like to share with you people.

"Everyone has their own set of problems. I hate it when I am faced with a problem. But I detest it most when I choose to run and not face it. We have a choice. Look at it as a PROBLEM - still - and maybe you will overcome it. Thus, achieving happiness. But. Look at it as a situation and we will definitely grasp a handful of wisdom and contentment... Even if we have failed to overcome it."

Chicken Popcorn Rice, So Nice!

Simei banquet is the best...
haha.

So tomorrow planning to go NUS... Architecture show or something like that...
Then, we go... watch David Archuleta!! Yeayy.... Thenn... We go... Eat at Amirah's grill or Amiran's grill i dunno....

But yeay! I will be a hell of a time, I hope... hehe.

Gonna dress up, take loads of pictures... Update, update and more updates!

Let's go baybeh!

So long No slack.

Yeay!

I've edited some things on my blog template. Of course they are only minor changes... No biggie...
But the changes made - at least - makes my blog pleasing to the eye. No more stupid google ads blocking my content and what not. I actually added a few more stuffs to help organise my sidebar... but it all went haywire so I had to revert. But anyways, this will do for now. I so love my blogskin, i can't find any replacement!

Anyway, moving on to what I have done today...
Basically, the trip to NUS had been cancel because our babe, Farah Hannan, had sore eyes! I was like getting ready halfway when Zizy called... So changed clothes and went to Elias Mall... After that we wanted to go survey Tampines 1. Guess what, it is not opened to the public yet! hurhur...

'Let's go find a rich life partner after this :)'

Humility.

Like the quote I frequently use,
“Humility is like underwear, essential, but indecent if it shows” - Helen Neilson

When you tell people that you are humble, it defeats the purpose. You are not humble anymore.
Trust me. Its showing. Without you knowing.

I don't know why am I blogging in the middle of the night right now. I guess I like reflecting at night? haha. Reflections, reflections.

Lesson #1: God is great. Put Him first and all your tasks will go smoothly. Never think that because of praying, it will make you lose time. Tested. Proven.

Lesson #2: At the end of the day, it is the wisdom that matters. You do not have to impress. Just do what you think is right. Don't follow blindly, work smart and plan carefully.

Lesson #3: Time Management is verrryyyyy important.

Lesson #4: Be grateful with what you have. The lesser things you own, the lesser things you want.

Lesson #5: Cherish the people around you. Always try to make time for family. I guess it is harder for me since I have two families right now. Luckily their timings don't clash. I just have to deal with the tiredness. But as long as it makes me happy, I don't really care if I am tired.

Lesson #6: Communication in a team is essential, necessary, vital, important and what have you. A mis- communication can lead to chaos and disaster. 2 hands work better than one. Let alone 30 pairs...

Lesson #7: Think before you act. Sometimes things that you do unintentionally can leave deep bruises in hearts. Although you had apologised for your mistakes, there will still be marks.

Well, that is all that I can share... The rest are for myself to know. Not for you to find out. I wonder what is there written for me in the future. Well, I guess, I should just wait for it. Maybe try to change it a little bit to make it better. I don't know. But I really believe in Fate.

Always look at the glass as half-full and not half-empty.

Long time no blog...

Let's start over.

It's been such a long time since I've blogged...
What happened to me?
I dunno. Seems like time has been moving so fast for me...
I don't know. Where has my time alone went?

Slumdog is good... Too bad I did not catch it earlier... But still, I caught it!
hee~ I shall not elaborate on the 'controversial' issues now. I'm still on cloud nine...

'Just put yourself in my shoes'

Tocco Here I come :)

I hope all goes well later...
First and foremost I would like to apologize to those who tried to reach me but could not get through, I have to renew my plan or something like that... Anyways, I will do the necessary changes later, don't worry, my number will not change. I will retain it for my own convenience and also yours... haha~

I have been thinking a lot about if I should get a wi-fi phone or not. Basically a wi-fi phone costs more. Duh. But actually, you do not really use it until there is available wi-fi and that is if the connection is strong. Why not just get an internet surfing line for the non-wi-fi phone?? I mean if you are not going to use it excessively, there is no harm right? Haha.

I'm only getting this for her. I don't know why. Sometimes I think I am stupid, Haha. Actually, it's love that made me this way. :) - Btw, I'm not talking about the bgr kind of love ok... its the sister love kind of love.

Rashes lah sey!!!

First the sneezing... And then the running nose... Now, the rash...
What the heck? Baik uh.
And since when... nvm.
I am freakingly sick. Bah! I hate being sick. But they say, Sick is good.
Ia adalah satu peringatan (It is a reminder). Therefore, Reflect!!

It came back. :'(((((((

Should I go admit myself into the ward?
Can I ask for the bed beside baba's? Hahaks.
Die lah you, Amyra. Talk shit in the wee hours...
Don't wanna sleep summore. TSK!

Did I just tell myself to die???
GOD what is happening to me..........
After effects uh?? Putus cinta per?
Abih? Nangis?
Buat ape?
Kental.


One question.
Dah kenape dengan aku ni?

Insomnia

I am soooooooooo sick.
But I will be okay later I hope.
I can't sleep.

I think I took so many wrong turns... My health starts to deteriorates.

Why, why... Tell me why... WHY? Why lah faggot. Tell me!!! Faster tell me!!!
What's your rationale to all this?? I'm not giving up.
WHAT Amyra wants, Amyra GETS. GOT it?

Now, its the two of us.

After having our favorite meal,
We went on a search on the mountain up high...
Along the way, there were a few people whom we saw...
Fun and laughter we had, throwing pebbles, skipping the waters...

And then you followed me home...
You held my my hand...
Looked me in the eyes...
And asked me to be yours...

Willingly,
you had your answer...

Don't tell me the sky is the limit. There are footprints on the moon.

First and foremost, happy Birthday to my darling sister, Putri Nur Ariani AKA AYU. Hahah.(FYI, She is the 'ayu' in the Suria drama series, 'Wak Burn'. Best thing was that, I did not even know she was acting!!

Anyways, I feel bad I was not there to pray for her well being along with the others, but my heart had always been there. Imagine that it is your sister's birthday and you are not there with her...

But a promise is a promise. Once made, can't turn back. Amanah... Right. Thank you for those who came just now, although it was already late... But still, you came. :) Glad you did. Hope you people had enjoyed your time.

Its a pity that I did not get to join the party earlier.

Only God Knows.

Citra Suria

Citra Suria - Taufik Batisah



Namamu seindah sang suria
Memukau setiap mata
Merangsang cinta
Dan mengaburi jiwa
Kelautan asmara

Siapapun terjerat dan pasti tersengat
Dengan gaya tingkah lakumu lincah dan keliru

Chorus:
Pulanglah sayangku
Ikut haluanku
Perubahanmu
Ku nantikan
Kembali cahaya
Kepada suria
Letakkanlah diri seindah namamu

Hidup pasti bermakna
Cinta pasti abadi
Harapan iniKu junjung tiap hari
Bawa ke sana sini

Sehingga kau berjanji
Tak mengulangi lagi
Ku sentiasa menunggu
Hingga akhir hayatku

(chorus)

Dengan rela
Aku ingin cinta menjadi nyata
Anggaplah pengalaman itu
Satu kesilapan yang indah
Sayang...

Aku pimpin tanganmu
Kita genggam erat-eratMenyusuri kenangan lalu
Dan terima hakikat

Bersinar kembali
Dalam dakapanku
Cahaya hakiki
Penawar rindu

Bersinar kembali
Dalam dakapanku
Cuma hanya itu yang ku ingini

Can I Complain??

Shall I say that Today is a pretty bad day for me?
Three things happened, 'BAD' things. But eventually, I believe things do not happen for no reason.

Well something happened at 3 plus in the morning... And... I shall not elaborate on it for now... Some good stuffs came out from the 'bad' thing. hehe.

Ok. So... Before I headed to school, I dropped by the bank to deposit some cash at the cash deposit machine. And guess what? The toot-ing machine retained my money! Dah aku kene join the long queue. Pfft.

Then I headed to school and as I reached Hassan's office to get the camera from him, he was already heading for lunch and I was told to come back at 2. Goddd....

Tell me why all this is happening? :))

Takpelah, dah nasib.

I was hanging on a steep cliff, before I decided to let go of my grip, then I realised how much I loved you and how I can't bear to see my future without you. Fortunately, you gave me your hand and lifted me up.
Alhamdulillah.

The sun is waiting for us... its the NEW HOPE

I think

when you feel like you are done making me cry every night, give me call.

Imperfections

I confess... I am not the perfect one for you...
every day... you seem to be further and further away from me...
I see a rainbow at the other side of the fence...
you see a beautiful ocean...
we have a similar perspective...
Alas, it is only... Similar

Heyyy ITs RAINING!!

Hey... I am back once again. Just to tell y'all that it is raining! How cool?!

and I won't be falling to sleep just as yet.

Who's that??

K. My father. Duh.

Byeessss....

Not Asleep yet...

I've just finished my work for today... I mean, Yesterday... I'm sort of a... I don't know what. But I'm just slow. I don't know why... oh, maybe its because my site is much larger than the rest's... Maybe. But anyways, ALASAN. Excuses, excuses and more excuses. Its like 5.20 now and I don't feel like sleeping yet. Stupid projects taking up my life... Hehe. First time complaining about p3?

Anyways, I am so afraid that I would not be able to finish my project on time... Cos we have like material sample board... my construction detailing, my story board, model and also process model. Not forgetting, we gotta borrow Hassan's camera cos we wanna get a good shot of boat quay for our perspectives. Speaking of which, reminds me of my matriculation card. For the second time! Where had it went? Maybe its inside my LV bag cos I remembered ziza putting it there. Shall search for it later. (ok now I'm starting to feel a bit sleepy.)

I can't believe that I have been awake for most of the time today. Like no sleep! Gosh... My face would look horrible tomorrow... I mean, later... Why does it feel like as though it is gonna rain???
Anyways. Ok Im getting draggy along here right? Heh. I shall stop here then, Since the 'rain-wind' is like sooo niceee.... I feel like going to sleep already... lol. And, I have no idea what the toots am I blabbering about. Haizz....

Nights :) (I mean, Morning!)

Do I have to do my model againnn??????

Ya Allah...
11 more days and everything will be over...
I can have my sleep...
I can have my hobbies...
I can have my time...
I can have my family...
And he can have me back :)

Long time no blog

After a week hiatus from blogging, induced by the time-consuming and energy-draining Project 3, I am back :)) Yeay... Missed me? Haha - Lame. Anyways.

Nowadays, I dream of nothing else but P3. I talk of nothing else but my design. I- Okay, actually these are all exaggeration... haha. I do not talk or dream or what have you about P3 all the time. Its just that, P3 is crimping out my life. Like the bi-atches would put it in their laser-like tongues... 'You are polluting my air!' - Oh it has been such a while since I've last used that phrase. Haha. The last person to whom I used that phrase to was Tarmizi Talib. Hehe. But that was ages ago. See, I've grown up to be a... better?? I don't really know. But point blank, I have grown out from that 'Past-me' days.

Just wondering - How come a boring topic like P3 could expand into bi-atches and 'past-me' and what not?? Anyway.

Back to the topic of P3. I seriously do not have any idea about my future as a designer. All I would like to do is Plan, Work hard and leave it up to Allah. I have to have back up plans you know. I can't really rely on just being a designer. I do not even know if I would have a 'career' as a designer. People are being retrenched and stuff. Oh God, If only 'these' people knew the consequences of their actions and how it would affect the world...

Humans can be really mean creatures when they turn themselves in to ego and greed. If only all the leaders in the world would lead like in the teachings of Islam...

If only these powerful people could be more humble.

Hoax Verse of the Quran

Probably, this email I received would have spread to a zillion mailboxes by now. I am very much disappointed that I had received this email regarding 'the number 11' only now. I wonder how many people in this world had been conned into believing this email? It really sounds convincing... The structure of the email is well planned... Even I, almost, believed the email. Until I figured out that something was not right.

There was this thing about a verse in the holy quran. Stating that;

'For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced: for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah and there was peace.' (Claimed to be from 9:11 - At-taubah)

First thing that popped up into my mind was, why have I not come across with this ayat in the tafsir? Maybe there was this ayat but I forgot or did not take any notice of it, but it could not be. Second thing was that, yes, the ninth surah in the Al-Quran is At-Taubah. What relation does this verse have to the surah? It sounds violent...

Anyway, its wrong. The verse about the eagle and what not is a hoax. Pretty angry with the guy who changed the verse to impose a bad image on Islam and VERY sad that it was my uncle who sent it to me! A muslim, sending another muslim this kind of email... Subconsciously weakening the Iman of muslims who are not 'well-informed'... It is a very sad situation, and all of these only reminds us of one thing.

The end is near.

By the way, the actual quote is : 'But (even so), if they repent, establish regular prayers, and practise regular charity,- they are your brethren in Faith: (thus) do We explain the Signs in detail, for those who understand.' - 9:11

12 Rabiulawal

I miss blogging!

Something has been bothering me, something has been smothering me.
I'm just not being true to myself. I'm living a lie.
Things are not going my way, and I don't want to keep it that way!

So what do I do?

I would love to have my sleep :)

Ni'mat

If tears had rolled on my cheeks just now due to depression and uncertainty because of he whom I love,
Now tears of gratefulness sparkles from my eyes because of she, the one I love dearly.

Sesungguhnya, Tuhan akan memberi cobaan kepada seseorang itu hanya jika dia dipercayai dapat mengatasinya dengan sabar dan ikhlas.

Alhamdulillah, aku dapat menjamah ni'mat yang sangat berpelajaran dari sisi-Mu ya Allah. Syukurku hanya pada-Mu. Sanjunganku hanya kepada kekasih-Mu, ya Allah.

Aku bersyukur dianugerahkan Sahabat sepertimu, ya Azizah. Tingkah laku, boleh disamakan dengan Sahabat Rasullulah s.a.w. Bertapa mulianya kehadiranmu di sisiku, biarlah ia menjadi rahsia antara aku dengan Dia.

Dalam diam-diam, kau mengubati jiwa yang pilu dan resah. Yang selalu takut akan azabNya yang tidak terhingga. Tetapi keliru, di tambah dengan diri yang lemah. Kau telah membawa sinar cahaya kembali kedalam ruang hatiku, kau telah memberiku semangat sejati, terpatri dalam hati. Biar kau lakukan apa-apa yang kau rasa patut. Sesungguhnya hanya Dia yang tahu berapa bersyukurnya aku, berapa bangganya aku, untuk dianugerahkan Sahabat seperti kau. Tangisan ku tak terhenti sampai kini. Tetapi aku rela. Aku rela kerana ia adalah tangisan kerana kesyukuran, keinsafan dan memberi kesedaran. Biar lah ia mengalir. Aku lebih rela mengalirkan airmata sebegitu daripada airmata yang disebabkan dunia yang dapat melekakan.

Ya Allah, letakkanlah dunia di atas tanganku dan bukan didalam hati ku... Amin

Thon

The plan was to eat at McDonalds at Mistri Road, but since there was no parking space, we went to Marine Cove instead. There were like ten of us including baba and family, and after dinner we played the 'pass the message game'. so fun lah.

Then we planned to go to Johor but ended up playing bowling at Downtown East. There were 19 names in the waiting list and ours was the 157. But we also saw Ibu's friend - Abang Fauzi. And he had a cousin who could not play but his name was in the waiting list, no. 149. So we took that slot! Whee... Alhamdulillah. And then we played and Ayah, as usual had top score of 114, Ibu went in second and I went in third.

Bowling main ramai2 best!

Then we had 'breakfast' at the pond. Where I had teh tarik and kebab. Hmmm... Hungry lah. Then Baba talked about the perfect 'routine', which is practised by Mika, my brother. He sleeps at 9 and wakes up at 5 every day. Baba said that was good and he wants to have that habit of waking up at 5 everyday. But not sleeping at 9 because he claims that its deficient to sleep at 9. Lol. But yeah. Baba said to us, if Mika grows up to sleep at 9pm and he wakes up at 5 am, that is good. But if he wakes up in the middle of the night to do 'qiyamullai', it would be very good. Like the lifestyle of a 'Wali' already. Wah, can I train him to be like that?

But he is just a kid. Kesian dia. But still! Why don't I try doing that first?

Head Spinning

Allah, My Head is going thump3...
Ibu is not back yet.
I don't know what is wrong with me today.
Maybe its tiredness.
I wanna learn doa istikharah and tahajjud.
Let's just get Boat Quay off our minds for now. K?
Leave it for tomorrow. Hopefully it does not rain tomorrow and we can go there again.
Insyallah.

Two Similar Entities But Diffferent.

Because of this, my mind could not be at ease.
Because of this, I kept thinking of it until I was tired.
Because of this small thing, I leave it to Allah.
He knows best.
What started it and may He give us His guidance, always.
Amin.

Pressurised...

God, help me.

I am so stressed out. I know this because I missed my period again. It seems like nowadays, my period comes only once in two months! How weird!

Ok anyway, I am now starting to wonder again, should I go Boat Quay today?

Ok its raining! Ibu lets go ORCHARD!

Turn Around.

Thank you so much Azimah for helping us, and I apologize because the agenda was changed. I am really sorry we did not go for prayers just now...

Crit was devastating!

What I've learnt: I will not miss my prayers because of work. Unless, it is needed. I won't use work as an excuse for me to not do my prayers!

What happened today was a learning point.

Alhamdulillah!!

Yippee...
Although we wasted money on the cab (Sorry Zizy)...
Although we took the risk of going out of the crit and went up to the studio to ask for some consultation...
Alhamdulillah, Crit for me and Ziza would be rescheduled to Thursday, which practically means, we have presentation on Thursday instead of tomorrow.
Wow, ain't that good??
*Mama, Nur tak sabar nak kahwin!*
Anyway, berkat kesabaran, nikmat.

New Blogskin

I don't really like this new blogskin, but anyways, let's just live with this for now because my previous blogskin was infected with some problem created by the google ad. Anyway, let us not grumble about that because then, nothing would be achieved.

We have no class today, Thank God. I can say that the whole class needs a break. Alhamdulillah, we got it today. Yeay.

And that explains why I am blogging today. I've been reading the Ayat-ayat Cinta novel since like 11.30? I must say, its a very good book. Although the movie had been screened, but the book is way much better. Trust me.

Alhamdulillah, Baba is safe after the operation. Alhamdulillah, my condition is getting better. If you must know, I had been suffering from gastic pains and whatever I eat seems to be thrown up. So far, Alhamdulillah, nothing is being thrown up yet, but you can't be so sure. For those who cared, Jazakallahu khairan. May Allah bless your good deeds.

I woke up today feeling different. Yet, I have not changed.

Ouh Shut up.

Sometimes, times are bad. Sometimes, things don't go your way. And Sometimes, you DON'T have to be an annoyance to the people around you when that 'SOMETIMES' come :)

Currently in the middle of a crit, sitting at the back of the class and my heart keeps laughing, wondering why am I in a class where I am not really learning more than what I am supposed to?
I am tolerant, I am tolerant, I AM TOLERANT! - Mind over matter, Amyra.
Oh gosh, I can't take this.
I feel like eating LAKSA Chap. Mmmm... Yummeh!
Ok random.

Breathless

Things are going against us.
I can feel it. I know we are suffocating...
Sacrifice and Prayers.
I am in deep sh*t...

Alhamdulillah!!

Relating to my previous post, Subhanallah! Luckily I've noticed there was a reset button! After a Click, everything was back to normal. Ah... Alhamdulillahi rabbil alamin....

ARGh

One particular thing that I hate about electronic goods - HANG.
When they start 'not responding' or, in short, hang, Its like... The end of the world! OMG! The mp4 hung in my hands and its not mine! Urgh DANG! My god, What do I do now???

I am very tired

I am sorry I have been neglecting my blog...
I have been very, very, VERY busy since my major project 3 had started...
Right now, I'm currently blogging in class... Because I can't really think properly due to the lack of sleep and class is having presentation right now.
Gosh, I think I can sleep properly tonight and wake up late tomorrow! AT LAST! Mind you, I'm not complaining that polytechnic life is making mine miserable... I think I'm working harder than I had used to this time. Imagine, more than 2 months of slacking... haha... Of course "Good Things don't come easy..."

Gosh, Everybody is so tired even my ComDA lecturer is! And trust me, Friday the 13th is not being of any help either... My classmate had just dropped her laptop and her thumbdrive flew and now, its not functioning properly! Worst, all her assessments of 22 presentations from her previous class was gone. Gosh...

Back to my intended content, let's continue 'grumbling'. I have not had time for family, not have time for myself (I still have not cut my fingernails!!) oh ya... now that ziza had just mentioned it, its been ages since I've went shopping!

God Help me... I so can't wait for MONDAY! :))

Design Students

If you are architecture student you've probably experienced:
-the taste of wood glue :I
-changes in your vocabulary : homework to project, ball to sphere, etc :)
-you don't understand how somebody can spend less than $20 at the supplies store :I
-you hate people telling you "go to sleep" or "do you still have a lot of work?" :)
-your friends and you don't have the same concept of work "oh, well do it right before class" :)
-you've slept more than 20 straight hours on weekends :I
-you can easily discuss with authority the effects of caffeine on different drinks :)
-no matter the effort you put in a project, somebody will always say “why don’t you add this? or “why don’t you change this here? or “i think that…but…yeah, its ok? :)
-you’ve heard all your ipod songs in a week :)
-whenever you get invited somewhere, it is followed by “or do you have a lot of homework? :I
-you write down a quick message with rapidographs, lead holders, markers and ink :)
-you have more pictures of landscapes and places than of people :)
-your worst nightmare consists of not finishing a project :)
-someone once called you “lazy"? and you wanted them murdered :))
-you can live without human contact, sunlight, food, but if your plotter’s ink runs out… chaos!!! :)))
-you don’t care about sports cars, your favorite car is the one where you can put in your model :S
-you design spectacular things without the idea of the cost :)
-you have the modern mark : a blister in your palm’s hand for the constant use of your mouse :I (its more to because of the architectural pen which has such a monotonous design!)
-everybody tells you how they admire your work, “but there is no money for it? :I
-you’ve gained the ability to sleep in whatever surface: pencils, keyboards, backpacks, your studio mates, food, etc :)
-you always have the idea that your project will always be recognized :)
-when you finally have free time to go out you keep thinking “who was the idiot that designed the restaurant’s bathroom?? “who designed this menu?? or “who designed this [chair, table, lighting, fork, etc]? HAHAHAHA! YEAAA!!! I did that at Wild Wild Wet just now!
-you've been at many sunrises, yet you've never seen one LOL

Ziza's:
-we designers, dont talk. we draw. (Yubba! Pretty much!!)
-we dont read instructions (Seriously, we don't!)
-khayal alot. but not smoking. to some! (Yea we daydream...)
- fashionably late. so if u guys wanna date a designer, make sure u bring something to entertain urself while waiting. ;P (Hahah... not sure of that though)

Mine:
After a Final crit in your class, 99.9% of the time, there will be someone crying.
After a crit in your class, 99,9% of the time, half the class would be swearing the "Simon" of the panel.
During a crit in your class, 0.1% of the time, you pay attention 100% of the presentations.