When I'm gone...
So long as you read this...
I miss you badly

It hurts...

I know how you look at me now...
I can't commit.
Neither am I ready.
I don't know what you think of me just now when you saw me.
Maybe you were okay with it.
Maybe you are not...
How can I get this into you...
How can I get my thoughts so that you'd understand????

Now I made up my mind...
I'm really going to know you better.
I don't want this to be the end for us...
I'll make you like my special friend.
If you really want it.
Until I get back from this holiday...
Until I get your answer...
Then We'll see...
You want me to treat you like how I treat my special friend...
I'll do it.
You'd just have to be prepared.
Get ready, Nafi...

But until then...
I'd cry to sleep tonight...
Tmr night...
Tmr Tmr night...
Cos I miss you badly

Stop treating me like this.
Don't make me regret ever accepting you.
Just Don't!

What A Day!

Today... Is a day of mixed emotions.
Just name me all the emotions...
I faced all of them in one day...
But since it was like a lot...
These emotions did not affect me that much.

Okay. So here's what happened.

Met up with Azeez and Emi. Were supposed to be having lunch with Aeynn in town. (Excited) First time jumpe budak kecik tu...
But when I got out of the house, I told myself "I look like a nyonya today and it sux. But nvm, nobody is gonna look at me... I'm not gonna meet anybody else I know...

Sure enough... I went to the MRT station and I saw Liyana, n Muhaimin and group. WTF?! (Embarrassment)

Met loads of people actually and here's the list...
Liyana, Muhaimin and grp - Pasir Ris MRT - Paisey LAr....
Harry - Bugis MRT - He is an IDIOT! haha... showed me that tongong face somemore! (Feel like i wanna fart on his face... can?)
Haziq - Topman - Huh? He work there? As what? why he standing beside the door? (Surprised)
Nuradee - Banquet Raffles hospital - Whoa...
Hanafi and moo! - Esplanade - Shocked! haha
Irshaad's bestfriend with his gf. - Citylink mall - Ok. Nasib korg shiok tgk kat mannequin tu...
Regina - Citylink mall - Tak recognise aku. k takper. Phew!
Rahima rahim (sr) - She taking the MRT?? - oh traffic!

Ok one wierd incident was at esplanade. there's these two guys not moo and nafi but just another 2 guys. Azeez looked at them and said they were checkin up on me. PFFT. Budak Kecik lagi lar korg! Pi main jauh2...

Yay PD TMR!!! Woohoooo!

Nauseous...

I want to vomit lah can??? I don't know exactly what is wrong with me...
Maybe it was because of the question Mr.BF shot at me.
I ended up dreaming of him yesterday... and GOD! It was a bad dream okay!

I dreamt of a snake which could talk. hmm snake??? Not really sure actually... cos there were different dreams and they somehow got mixed up. But i know this snake was green. haha. It was at night. There were 3 couples i think... including me and mr.bf. LOL. We were in a dark place. The other two couples were kissing, and... me and him was walking. Somehow the snake attacked me and mr.bf... I ran when a police car came and arrested me. For what i dunno. But then, my hands could slip off the handcuffs and i ran away from the police. Thats all I could remember... and i cried okay... Cos after that, I didn't see my MR.BF again... cos he ran away and the police couldn't catch him. So sad lahhh... Cryin in my sleep... lol. Woke up and i found it hard to open my eyes! PFFT. Thanks eh mr.bf!

My mom said if you dreamed of being attacked by a snake, it means there will be a marriage proposal coming. No. No marriage proposal today... maybe its because of my thought before i went to sleep last night...

Anyway... got new flip flops from ripples! PD! I Can't wait!!!

Aku Cinta Padamu, oh Puisi...

Mata Memandang, Terpaku...
Di atas lantai yang sejuk
Membuat tubuh bergetar...
Teringin sangat diri dipeluk

Patuh Agama, pegang adat
Tidak ingin menyeksa diriku
Lalu kulontar pandangan ku
jauh dari tatapan matamu

Yang menyenangkan
Yang penuh keikhlasan
Mengapa harus begini
Apa yang harus aku lakukan

Berikan aku kebebasan
Dari segala kerumitan yang membelenggu
Melingkar, merantai jiwaku
Aku tidak mahu dia tetap menunggu

Imanku kepadamu Tuhan
Lagi kuat, tak terdaya berdusta
Aku akan sabar, harapku begitu juga dia...
Tidak dapat dinafi kan, Jika benar dia cinta...

Christmas?!

Listening to: My December by Linkin Park :DD

Well happy birthday to Jesus(P.B.U.H)...
Happy Advanced Birthday to my mom whose birthday falls tomorrow. :D
Happy belated birthday to me, Farah Ashlina, Farhanah, Irshaad, My ex's mom, Taufik Batisah... who else? ouh Farhan, my Friendster friend... and all the December Babies! :D
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y'ALL! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL CHRISTIANS... AND HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL.
HOPE YOU GUYS HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT YOUR RESOLUTIONS... LOL COS I HAVEN'T!

So anyway, I can't wait to go to PD... EEEE Best nyer! But... I'd be darker when I come back. :( So sad then... Ah wth. Gonna have fun, man! Whats the use of going to PD and stay away from the sun??? The beach is calling me!!! I can hear it! Ahhhh....
WTH!

Its gonna be loads of fun larrrrr.... confirm cos Danny, my cousin, is following!!!
WOOT! PD HERE I COME!!!!
PS: padahal lagi 3 hari... PFFT!

I've got too much to say... too much to tell.
But you know what, some things are better left unsaid.
I'm a fickle-minded person also a forgetful one.
So I'm sorry if you think I'm a waste.
Cos im not!

Lol the last two lines are random. Don't mind me. I dun belong to the sewage anyway!

My new obsession... :D

Besides my new haircut... Another one of my obsession's is this.
I could only take a pic from the net cos i cant upload pics.
this pic is somekind similar.90 percent. The shape, color... blablabla...

My watch is called the scrolling tic i think... lol what a name...
But i love it :D thank you ibu!
Hope she likes the present i bought her *prays hard*

:DD

Mom bought me a fossil watch. :DD
For my birthday present.
My god.
My father told me she read my diary.
There was one page which I put there "I want a fossil watch... bla3"
I dunno what. Anyway that was years ago.
But anyway I'm thankful for that...

I was sad at first cos I thought my mom did not buy for me anything.
I cried for one night. Then I promised myself not to be sad about this anymore.
I love my mom no matter what.
My wish is that I can let my mother read my blog.


Anyways... had a good time just now. Went to school. To do project.
Then went to find my mother's birthday present.
Then went to changi airport to eat... with hanafi :D, alia :D, and Sarah :D.
Heh.
So fun!
Can we do it againnn??
Popeye's chicken for course meal and swensen's for desert.
And when i got back home...
A fossil watch was waiting for me.
Shocked like hell.
I wanted to cry but i couldn't...
Love my mom so... soooo much :DD

Was tagged by farah mardhiah so here it goes... Bloody hell...

Link to your tagger and post these rules. List eight (8) random facts about yourself. Tag eight people at the end of your post and list their names (linking to them). Let them know they’ve been tagged by leaving them a comment on their blogs.


1. I AM RANDOM IN FACT...
2. I must fall in love with a 'Thing' before I buy it... lol.
3. My dream is to be known in this world in the entertainment industry. :D (revealed secret!)
4. I am a responsible person! hah. At least I think so.
5. I am unique? hahahaaha...
6. I love to make people laugh... its just addictive and works better than olay total effects...
7. I Am Vain... I love my reflection. :D
8. And I Am not whatever you ASSUME I might be... *how bout that?* :P

TAG! (I hate this!)
1. Uhhh Hanafi! Hehe... U have to do this!
2. Lets see... Azimah azman... heh...
3. you....
4. yes you....
5. the one sitting
6. reading this thing
7. Ya you!!!
8. You! You the person reading this particular death post! (hah mepek!)

*Please have the guts to do this bloody thing... haha... I did... i read my friend's blog and she tagged me saying "you! you the random person reading this blog! lol!" it was vague. There wasnt even my name. Just to have a clear conscience, i did this. See... im very responsible... haha wth

Cleaning Day

Cleaned the house lah sey!!! haha. Mop the floor. Tak tau aper mood. PFFT.
Self-volunteer maid. Maybe because i felt like one. I was left alone... in the house. With 3 small kids. I felt like a mom pon ader, a maid pon ader... haha... WTH

Nothing happening actually today... lol. Just that I can watch tv in my room. :DD Got Rtm 1, 2, tv3, ntv7, 8, 9, from malaysia and Tpi, SCTV, and RCTI from indo... Best seyyyy!!!! I love watching malysia and indo's shows... but i prefer malaysia... hehe... dunno y. If Indo, Alot of their drama's story lines are similar to hikmah... torture here, torture there... then happy ending... hey but I like the drama, Andaiku tahu. :DDD Acha, irwansyah and Rafi ahmad!!!! And the storyline... fuh! power! I cried for two episodes... cos so far i watched 2 only... lol... but so sedih lahhh... TT.... Wanna know more? Monday - Friday 7.30 only on RTM1! :D Saluran inforia anda! hehe...

Hari Raya Haji 2007

I will try my best to include every detail of what i did during hari raya haji which was like... so fun! ~At least I think so... haha... Look on the positive side... lol.
ok.. Where shall I start?

On the starting of the day, which was like when I woke up... The smell of Sambal Goreng greeted me... mmmm... so sedap... I went out of bed to find everyone slacking... ok. nvm. Thot this was supposed to be very... RAYA-ful... Anyway. My parents and matin(3rd bro) went out...for what i dunno. When they came back, they brought home a shaver and rice cooker! From harvey norman... Hmmm... weird! WTH. And then, We got ready and went out. First stop, Ang mo kio.

*(OMG my sister is so annoying right now! Her feet is beside the laptop! Wearing that white pumps... Asking me what color would be nice if she were to buy another one. Damn, She had just pulled my headphone! Sometimes i wish i was an only child!)*

Nothing much to do there. Just send the sambal goreng and sit down... *(and my sister is dancing beside me and Singing! Ah noise pollution! Can i kill her?)* then... Tried so hard not to watch 'Chah'. The first time i saw it, it was torturous.... TT ok so. then made a move and drove to town. WTH. Town! hari raya haji?! hahaha.... Org buat korban, kite pergi shopping... ish3... But this was to shop for my sibling's school bag for next yr. Since this was... *(Now my sis is banging the small Gendang! so noisy! I am so prepared to be the only child!)* the perfect time to do so... Cos on the other times, my parents would be working. So... no time later. They bought billabong bags. At bugis junction... BHG. My mom wanted to buy for me that Nike bag which I wanted. Even though it cost 52 bucks ~for that bloody small bag which i cant even put an a4 file in!! omg... So... It isn't worth it. So I persuaded her not to buy. Cos i know if she would've bought for me that bag, she will use it as a reason not to buy for me other things and say its my birthday present! I dun want!!!!! OK. Anyway. Since it was a holiday, town was packed with loads of people. And my father... who didn't like to drive... Swore all his might in the car... Cos of the bloody jam. PFFT. We, acted as if we didn't hear anything. Luckily, my 2 youngest siblings didnt follow us... They are fast learners u know... What comes out from their mouth, brings u aback. LOL. Shall not elaborate...

Then went to my cousin's house (mother's side) where a 'Tahlil' was held for my grandfather's death anniversary... by the time we got there, my pringles was 90 percent finished, and the tahlil was 70% done... Sat on the floor and held up my hands. but did not really focus on reading. Was sleepy and there were some distractions... lol. Baca Al-Fatihah pun dah tak betul... haha... Astaghfirrullah. Then eat the remaining of my pringles. with my uncle and my aunty, lol. My fave. Aunty, Widya's mom, she told us jokes which were so funny about taufik batisah, hady mirza and asian idol... esp guy sebestian when he danced like skank liddat... Cos we were watchin asian idol... haha... The rest of my uncles and aunties also followed. Me and my cuz, lili, also followed uh, ape lagi... Funny. Funnier than TEATER KOMEDI. Lol. Dah 3 pelakon dok dlm satu rumah. Kecoh....

Then after some time, went to my cuz, Zalillah's house for a visit. The first time in such a long time, i went there and made the house like my own. LOL. Always did so when i was young cos we were kinda close... now after a long time of separation... Missed them. God granted our prayers (me n nina's). :D And Zalillah's sister, Adilah, Got into Greenview. -.-" Of all schools! PFFT! Haha... Fyi Zalilah and me was from Greenview. LOL. Over there, the adults talked about.... Haj and... ghost. -.-" Of all things. LOL. Anyway. In all I had fun... :D It was definitely diff from any other hari raya haji(S) after all the years of separation... UNITY... :D What i had craved for.

So sad i couldnt upload pics cos i cant... the cable sot... n no bluetooth :(

So so so so....

I am so dead.
My song that I've create for my special friend...
Its ruined....
I need to find a new melody for the chorus...
Cos its bland!
PFFT...

My special friend... hmmm... his name is... Zizi can? duwan la... Izzy... yea nicer.. haha
Ok so... He asked me to write something about him in my blog... lol!
well i did eventually... here im writing about my friend Izzy... LALALA
Ok. So. He asked me to do loads of things about him... well...
I did... I wrote a song for him. But. I'm not letting anyone who is close to me listen to it first.
Including You Azimah! hehe. I know u are reading this!
Okay... Im not letting anyone listen to it before it is done (except for my cousins. they r my trusted crits.... lol) cos its a SURPRISE!
WHEEEEE....
im crazy, lol!

okayokay...

Happy happy mood mood... i dunno y! hehe...
2years 6 months... eh? i need a calendar mannnnnn.....
no! don't get me a calendar for my birthday! i got loads already... Unless u wanna give me a notebook... the color2 one... the nice2 one... the one from that bookshop at citylink... (hint2) lol! haha... No lah kidding... If you guys wanna buy me presents make sure it cost more than 1000 sgd not rupiah okkkk....
hahahaha... see! im crazy! i know... hahahahahaha.... biol nyer budak...
Oh izzy look what you've done!
Anyway... About the presents... i was joking... i meant 'make sure its worth more than Sgd1000000000000000 ok...

You know what it means? Make sure its priceless... God knows, you guys have already gave me that... Our long lasting friendship... Whoever reading this... you know who you are. Promise me our friendship will last for eternity, infinity and beyond... It would be the best, most valuable present of all.... And Keep your promises once made... Broken, considered sold... Sell you at Indonesia or Thailand uh.... haha

CRAP CRAP CRAP! What came out of my fingers i dunno... haha... Minum todi agaknyer budak ni... haish

Merepek meraban taik apek dalam? JAMBAN! Ban ape? Bantal! Tal ape? Talipon! Pon ape? Pondan! Dan ape? Dan-sing! Sing aper? Singapore! Pore aper? Po-peye! Pai ape? Pai... pye pye? (bye bye) heh.... Gile budak ni Whatafark??????

Saturay's BBq

Lol as expected, We only went for my family bbq and not the other 2. Bloody hell. Was damn bored. My cousins did not talk to me that much. BORING. Just wished that we were much closer like before... ouh Those days... Miss them so... Anyway. Could see that they were shy... so was I. And Khairil Yusof came. Now I know. My sis say my uncle is dating Khairil's sister or something. Not sure.. Anyway. Ate a lot. My father and mother chatting the night away. Me and my siblings with kids. Bloodyhell. Makan lagi Afdal... I wanna be closer to my other cousins like we used to. After like what. How many years i forget already... Missed alot. That lil cousin of mine, adila, treats me as if I am like, not her cousin. She said it was "kak fiza's birthday". I asked "Kak fiza?" Shocked cos i did not know kak fiza's birthday falls on the 19th of dec... 4 days b4 me. (ouh so shes like 1yr 4days older than me!) haha wth. then adila said, "ouh kak fiza is our another cousin. uhh her sister! (points to shima, fiza's lil sis). I was like... wth! I know who is kak fiza unless there is another kak fiza. Like hello! I am the girl who used to play with you when you were small! go to your house, sleep over... dance, play. And me n ur sis used to bully u! remember? Whatever we did! Ah nvm... Maybe you were too young to remember... NVM. Then i turned around and walk away. Nvr talkedto her again for the rest of the night... haha. Bloody hell...

I miss those days...

ASIAN IDOL!

Woot! Hady won!!!!! whooooo! So happy! Did not regret voting for him... Lol. I had always wanted Hady to win. Just to prove that the Malay people have the nicest voice... :DD Malay people can do it lah! Who say we are lazy bums??? The judges wasn't convinced that Hady, Phong Vy, or Abhijeet (india) would win. But Hey!!! Look who's holding the title. I knew he could make it... hahaha.... I just knew it... Satu Lagi Insan Yang Dapat Dibanggakan Oleh Masyarakat Melayu Islam. Semoga Hady Mirza Dapat Membuat Ramai Anak Muda Melayu Islam Berazam Untuk Berkerja Keras Sepertinya... Dan Semoga Dia Tetap Memegang Teguh Pada Adat Dan Budaya, Juga Agama... Dan Semoga Dia Ingat Pada Mereka Yang Telah Membuat Impiannya menjadi Nyata. Lebih2 Lagi Allah S.W.T. :D
And he is from TP! :DDDD

Sixth Sense

I nearly forgot to blog about yesterday's disturbia... lol

Went to Changi to fetch my mom from CAAS territory...
Went to the beach before that.
Was in the car. Alone. Everyone els was outside.
That was when I saw some small black thing running towards a tree infront of me.
I thought it was a small kid or something. ok...
Didn't give a damn.
Then I scrutinized at the tree. Did not see a kid.
Ok maybe it was my imagination. Forget it.
Went to fetch my mom and drove of to Changi village to eat.
Fine. Back home.
Opened the door. Assalamualaikum.
Went straight to change.
Forgot to wash my legs.
Went to the kitchen to heat up my KFC chicken.
Went back to my room.
As I was listening to Ria Misteri Jam 12 and talking to my mom and sis,
I caught a glimpse of something which is black. On top of me. \
crawling on the ceiling. ZOOM!
It was fast... okay... MAYBE it was just my imagination.
Went to the kitchen to get my chicken.
Went back to the room.
Went back again to get a drink.
Then I found out that the microwave door was open. I know I have closed it. Maybe I forgot. Forget it. Then there was a gust of wind which blew into the kitchen and made the hanging things move and clink. Okay. This is it, It's following me. Damn.
Went back to the room.
While eating and talking, I saw it again.
This time it was crawling at the wall on my right.
'Ni takleh jadi ni! Korg dah cuci kaki belum? Tadi masuk bagi salam tak?'

Silence.

Went to the toilet and wash my leg.
It was gone.
I knew it would go and luckily there was a gap in the window.
It wasn't closed properly.
I knew it would go cos in the room(mine)there was 2 ayat Kursi which My father hung.
And Some other stuffs to keep these things away. Like... different kinds of things lah.
Told my mom and sis abt the disturbance.
And there we go, our own Misteri Jam 12.
:D

Kenanganku

Hati kelam tidak diketahui
Mengejar bayang seribu batu
Didalam kesejukkan musim tengkujuh ini
Ku sangat merindui dirimu

Ku toleh ke kiri
Batu putih yang menyempitkan ruang sepi
lalu ku toleh ke kanan
jendela yang memberi cahaya sepi

Burung kedidi patah sayapnya
Terjatuh pula kedalam paya
Hati runsing wajah gelisah
Entah bila dapat bersua...

Hari-hariku sangat memenatkan
Aku hanya bermimpi, dihias tangisan
Andai dapatku merenung matamu sepuasnya
Akan hilanglah segala kepedihan...

My Imeem acc was hacked like... for just a while... :(

Luckily... I don't have any heart problems... Haish.
I log in to imeem. Well actually, I never log out.
Okay. So when I went in, it said "welcome, I'm a Gay. Fuck la"
I was so damn shocked. I thot it was one of my bro's mischievious plans to get back at me... i dunno for what. Let's just say he hates me, cos i like to order him around. LOL. Anyway. Yea so I went to check if there was anything unusual about my page.
There were Chinese songs... Bloody hell. I did not listen to them. Somebody really hacked into my account or maybe, it was just an accident, but I know the page was a hacker's page. Cos at the comments part, the diff ppl used their hacked acc to shout vulgarities cos the hacker hacked their account... like mine... PFFT... Then I posted a comment too. but I swore, okay. I didn't use vulgarities. Just said that... "To whoever did this, you are so gonna get it. Not now but later when you die! My GOD is so gonna make your life miserable!!!" then i logged out, And logged in to my another account at imeem... luckily it was okay. then I log in bag to the hacked account and it doesn't exist. WTH! bloody hell....

So many bad people out there... Bully poor girl like me. I know I'm too cute that you can't resist not bullying me... But Can you at least give some face??? :p
Kat skola, kawan2 nak campak aku kat dlm fountain... kat rumah adik aku bully aku... kat dalam internet pon org nak bully aku?!?!!

Final Destination 2

The movie... again and again. So gross. Thats why I'm blogging. My siblings are watching in and just by hearing them scream... I feel nauseous... OMG... I want to eat! Can? Haiz... Quite bored actually... My auntie just called. She's treating us to KFC today! hehe. So best. Anyway it's been a long time since we went to her house. And this weekend, there's my mom's friend's chalet. Then there's also a bbq planned by relatives from my Father's side. OMG... Confirm best punyer... haha... Dah tak jadi gi Melaka... Initially thot of staying at A'Famosa. But my mom's friend went to survey the place but it was boring. LOL. So maybe we go some other place in Malaysia. Bukit Merah maybe? Can we just go Johor... Johor pun okey aper... Haish... Ni nak pergi jauh2... Den the next day im schooling okay?! PFFT!

My current condition is: My head is spinning. Thanks to FD2. And you know what? I want to eat. But you know what? I dunno what to eat. There's food. I'm hungry. But I don't feel like I have the appetite. Can I save my stomach for later??? haha... WTH.

Happy birthday December Babies!

What baby are you?

---------------DECEMBER BABY ----------ME---
This straight-up means ur the most good-looking
person possible... better than all of these other
months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive
in everything. Active in games and interactions.
Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in
organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to,
though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision,
yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by
kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of
ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to
delay. Choosy and always wants the best.
Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to
joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone
always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer.
Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding.
Able to show character.!
one guy/girl kind of
person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting
colds. loves music.

This is so truee lahhhh! If you wanna know what baby you are... tag and i'll forward you the e-mail. :D

----------------JULY BABY --------HIM---
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to
be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed.
Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily
consoled. Honest. Concerned about people ' s
feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable.
Emotional temperamental and unpredictable.
Easily hurt. Witty and sparkly.
spazzy at times.
Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets.
dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things.
Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive
and forms impressions carefully. Caring and
loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of
sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people
through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties
in studying. Loves to be with friends .. Always broods
about the past and the old friends. Waits for
friends. Never!
looks for friends. Not aggressive
unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt
but takes long to recover.

What?!

God! Is this true??? got this email from a friend

Dear Frens
All the below Masterfood Company Chocolate Products (Mars) are no longer Halal. They started using Animal product rennet(pork) in it for products that have expiry date after 1 st of October 2007.

Check this article from BBC News
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/6653175.stm
And this from the Vegetarian Society
http://w ww.vegsoc.org/news/2007/mars.html

· Bounty
· Celebrations
· Dove Chocolate
· Flyte
· Galaxy
· Kudos (North America)
· Lockets
· M-Azing (North America)
· Maltesers
· M&M's
· Mars Bar
· Mars Delight
· Milky Wa y
· Minstrels (UK only)
· Mars Planets (newly inroduced in UK)
· Skittles
· Snickers (The top-selling candy bar in the United States. Known in the UK as Marathon until 1990.)
· Starburst (Originally Opal Fruits in the UK.)
· 3 Musketeers (North America)
· Topic
· Twix
· Snicker's Marathon Energy Bar
· AquaDrops

Please forward this message to your friends.
Thanks

TSK! Majority of the chocs in the list are my favourites larrrr! Agh! Nanti macam pringles pulak, tak halal tapi actually halal... uhhhh mcm mana ni? My head was spinning before i log in to the net... now... It's spinning even more! Can I chop it offff???!!!! argh! pening nye!!!!

God!

Imagine. Searching for a perfect holiday and chatting with fidz about relationships is making me starve. And I can feel this hypotension coming. Gosh. Believe it or not, I coughed out blood. But was not serious. Just a lil bit... Maybe its the lack of sleep. For the past two days, i haven't been sleeping quite well actually. The day before yesterday, It was because I was waiting for a message. You jolly well know who you are. (Siape tertidur tu, terase lah ya! :p) Yesterday, was because my sister had her sinus prob. And mom was sleeping in my room as well. Imagine. I was in the middle. And both of them were SNORING!!!! OMG...

Chatting with fidz have resulted on me, writing the prev post. And somehow, Chatting with him has matured us in our thinking... hehe... Thanks fidz. Fie(Hanafi), Thank fidz cos if he didn't chat with me today, I won't post the prev post ok... Good boy!
hehe.....
K I wanna eat before I die.... bye

A new chapter in my life... A new book.

I am going to forget the past memories.
I am going to love like I have never did.
I am going to give my heart to him.
Because I know he deserves it.

I am bringing the lessons from the past with me.
And try my best to not repeat the mistakes.
Try to improve myself and my partner.
Its our love, maybe our lives at stake.

I am sorry to myself cos I kept reminding myself of the past.
I am sorry to him cos he suffered without me realising.
But I promise to myself I will not do it again.
I promise to him he would end the days smiling.

I'll Love him more... More than any guy whom I had loved.

I am so in love with you now.
I am not afraid to fall.
As long as you stay by my side.
You were all that I've wished for.

Hanafi.
I will treasure you,
every moment with you,
every letters you write for me,
every I Love You's you've said...
Everything of you...
I'd treasure them...
Dear in my heart.
For now, I'll promise you Forever.
I know you will too...



I am so fuckinly in love with you so badly even the bad words can't describe it enough!

WTH....

My father is like being some kind of shit now. He suck... I don't know what's wrong with him. Like one hr, he is okay, the next he comes shooting people down with his fucking mouth. He made me cry first then he made my sister. Bloody hell. What's the matter with him??? Because of him... Fie is affected. I have no mood to do things I was currently doing. I just feel like burying my head somewhere. Find my little corner and just CRY! I think he got pms or something. Menopause maybe. Bloody hell. Now he is okay... I guess... First, he did not wanna fetch my mom. And now he is going out. To fetch my mom. PFFT! Whattt is the matter with him?! Now he is out. I have my life back some how. Gonna check on my sis to see how he is doing...

....

ouh great she's okay. Few tears left in her eyes. Could see them though she was like trying to hide it. LOL. She's watching heroes s1 on channel 5. I'm watching heroes s2 online. Sisterly love... Awww....

Forgive me.

in 1 minute... hehe...

This is done to help my friend. LOL.

selagi ada cinta didalam benak ini,
sanggup aku merangkak kehausan,
menentang segala batasan,
merentas segala rintangan...
demi mencari cinta sejati.

pheeewit! i LOIKE! haha

Bloody pimple

I have two bloody pimples. Gonna get 3M's Nexcare tmr. Hope they work. They worked last time. Tried washing them off but no successful results... Anyway... This wont stop me from writing a poem... or puisi to be exact. :D

Kepala ku berpinar
Adakah in benar?
Segala apa yang ku inginkan
Dimabrurkannya dan kini dikesalkan...

Apa yang aku inginkan sebenarnya?
Kebahagiaan yang tidak seseorang pun dapat kecapi
Dimana perginya bumi yang kupijak
Segala yang didepan mata kupajak

Dengan apa?
Kebahagiaan yang seketika
Yang tidak dapat kurasa dengan hati nuraniku
Yang mungkin akan pudar membuatku kaku

Dimana dapatku cari semula kebahagiaan seperti dulu?
Seperti kera dicukur bulunya
Aku malu
Tiada Seorang pun tahu

Namun aku berjanji pada diriku sendiri
Kini... Aku kan mencari erti kebahagiaan itu
Kebahagiaan yang akan dapat aku kongsi bersama yang tersayang
Dimana aku tidak akan terlena akan kuasa yang Maha Penyayang...

Aku berlutut merayu
Akan keampunanmu Oh Tuhan
Berilah aku pedoman
Agar aku tidak akan sesat melayan syaitan

Wouldn't It be nice?

-If one day... I could make an album... with a band... I don't know which band but... with a band. LOL. Ahhh... Then we will bring many songs of different genres or something... Or... We'll stick to a genre at most.

-If one day... I could be a heroine of one of Datuk Yusof Haslam's movie? Just like Erra Fazira, Ziana Zain and Hetty Sarlene?

-If one day... I could set up my own cafe... Be my own boss... Hire workers and have fun...

-If one day, I could work with M.Nasir... Maybe he could write my songs... Hahahaha...

-If one day, I could buy a big house in KL, And live there with my family... No need to work... cos we have more than enough money... Hahaha...

Wouldn't It be noce If those dreams would Come True... But funny ain't it? I'm into design also... But to tell you the truth, the Arts flow in my blood more than design... How I wish people could see that...

Dream, Believe, Achieve (heard of that before?)

Singa vs Malay

LOL. watched Asean games just now, my sis, arina, was like so kecoh! haha. Cos one of the singapore strikers kept falling. and she was like "oi! lembek ke pe???!" and many more comments which was so funny! haha... i thot malaysia would win. LOL. But ended up its a draw. And singapore got to go to the semi finals too... wth. I am so PISSED with nothing! I'm kinda bored actually and i have not done my solat Isyak which I will be planning to do later. After I blog... Lol. You know... Solat is making my hypotension come back rather than be healed. Cos of the change of position... quite depressing actually... haiz... But no matter what, I would still do it. :D
My head is still spinning actually. but not that unbearable. LOL. Oh ya! that malaysian striker! Amirulhadi... OMG! So cutee laaar. The goalkeeper also! OMG!!! AMIRUL! I LOVE YOU!.... haha. He scored the goal for My. hehe. Fi... jgn jealous... hahah... I'll love amirul for a while only.. nanti kalau lama sikit, dah luper. confirm... hehe. Sorry Amirul. Wait... Why the heck am i loving somebody who i see on tv but he doesnt see me??? WTH. Amirah giler. K. I wanna do my solat oready. hehe. Bye!

crazy job

I've been playing this game while waiting for Rapsodi 2007. Verrry funny larrr. Crazy Job hahaha... conferm gerek... hehe... My dear, he's online... wheee... tak jadi tgk uh... dgr je... can? hehe

Hypotension

This is what I had found from Wiki. Thank you Wiki. Love Wiki so much. lol...
These are only some. not all... if you want to know more, go to this wikipedia.org and search yourself... haha.

What is it?
In physiology and medicine, hypotension refers to an abnormally low blood pressure. This is best understood as a physiologic state, rather than a disease. It is often associated with shock, though not necessarily indicative of it. Hypotension is not hypertension, which is high blood pressure, the opposite of hypotension. Hypotension is a fairly rare problem, hypertension is a much more common problem. Hypotension is usually not a serious problem, although in some cases it can be life threatening.

MECHANISM AND CAUSES
Reduced blood volume, called hypovolemia, is the most common mechanism producing hypotension. This can result from hemorrhage, or blood loss; insufficient fluid intake, as in starvation; or excessive fluid losses from diarrhea or vomiting. Hypovolemia is often induced by excessive use of diuretics. (Other medications can produce hypotension by different mechanisms.)

SYNDROMES. (some parts I comprehend, some parts I don't. Head is not helping...)
Orthostatic hypotension, also called "postural hypotension", is a common form of low blood pressure. It occurs after a change in body position, typically when a person stands up from either a seated or lying position. (some may experience it, I do. Always. But today's experience is not normal. It was worse... Really) It is usually transient and represents a delay in the normal compensatory ability of the autonomic nervous system. It is commonly seen in hypovolemia and as a result of various medications. In addition to blood pressure-lowering medications, many psychiatric medications, in particular antidepressants, can have this side effect. Simple blood pressure and heart rate measurements while lying, seated, and standing can confirm the presence of orthostatic hypotension.

Neurocardiogenic syncope is a form of dysautonomia characterized by an inappropriate drop in blood pressure while in the upright position. Neurocardiogenic syncope is related to vasovagal syncope in that both occur as a result of increased activity of the vagus nerve, the mainstay of the parasympathetic nervous system.

SYMPTOMS
The cardinal symptom of hypotension is lightheadedness or dizziness. If the blood pressure is sufficiently low, fainting and often seizures will occur. (well, I was about to...)
Hypotension, depending on one's own body chemistry and genetics, may often cause mild depression (damn! its really depressing i tell you...), mostly in regard to taking other medications which do not fit one's personal unique needs.

FYI: those in italics are what I personally experienced 2 yrs ago and today! Bloody hell...

See hanafi... your GF's life is threatened. Haha... But no worries. Mine is not at the severe stage yet. But its obviously not at the 'slight' stage. its some where around 2-3/5 since I have been experiencing dizziness when changing posture and when not. The shock part is true. And the irregular heart beat too. I can feel it.

Just so you know, the reason why my head is not really spinning now is because I had eaten. Gonna eat again and take some medication. My mom will buy me some vitamin B. Hope its like sakatonic ABC. you know got flavours.... mmmm yummy...

K so long... :D... Oh yeah 16 more days! (hint: Click :me:... hehe)
And 29-30 i'd be going melacca. Cant wait. Confirm on the 31 at school I'd be half awake. Or best still. At home sleeping. LOL... can't wait larrr. Get out of this boring vacation. Wait. Hope this hypotension won't hit me again!
Pray,Pray,Pray....

Head BANG!

Went to school this morning. The plan: To put my model in the studio, pay my fees and have breakfast with Sarah and Irshaad. But in the end, Sarah and Shaad did not turn up or call. PFFT. Then on the way home, BANG. My low blood pressure attacked. Well... I did not eat in the morning. But... Its no excuse... I can manage without eating breakfast. I just don't know how come It could attack me after being M.I.A for like almost 2 yrs! I was in the bus and I started getting dizzy and all... I had to stand! OMG. My head was spinning and I had to stand. Bloody hell. How great could my life be? I seriously don't know where did I go wrong... My head is still heavy... just slightly. well. What can I do? But this thing is sure bothering me lah. I can't go out with Fi today because of this. thought of following him to shisha. And he asked me out to play pool ok. Damn. I've been longing to touch the cue. Argh... My head.... Want to go and check out wiki about Low blood Pressure. '_'. Tatah.

Love what you do, Respect what you love. :D

PFFT

dum dum dum...
17 more days and I will be 17. whee. wow.
17... sarah is going to be 19 in january next yr and me?
17. uhhuuuu.... how young can i be?

theres too much to say.
but i dont know where to start.
Well... At least my darling knows it all.
Sarah... Where are you?
I miss my friends lar.
Miss them so much.
Ziza, Sarah, Fidz, Shaad... Farah... All the evd ppl. Harith...
Argh! Pls time... Go faster!!

Water Babies...

Ouh great. My neighbor's daughter came to our house.
I mean she is still in here somewhere now.
This is kinda bad and good. I don't know.
She's very cute and adorable.
But she likes to talk. Talk non-stop!
I prefer kids who don't talk a lot.
Why can't kids today become like me when I was a kid?
Chey... haha
I mean. Serious. I just sit down some place and play with my polly pocket.
In MY own damn world. I do not disturb anybody okay.
So why are these kids bothering me?
Why must they seek attention??? Go seek someone else attention lar.
I don't have the mood. Cos your mouth had just screwed it up.
It's not that I hate kids. But I hate it when they act too smart when they are not.
At least my lil bro, mikhail, can live in his own world and maintain being cute.
That neighbor's kid was like so irritating. She wanted to use the computer to play games. Mikhail was using it. Ya. So she thought she had to use it too. Its like, "if you play, Then I'll have to play too." Pfft. Kids. Ok fine. I let my bro use first. My lil bro knows how to control this computer. He knows what to touch and what not to. And when it came to this girl's turn, she started right-clicking, clicking every damn thing she could see when the game wouldn't work. She's like 1 yr older than my lil bro. OKAY! So I was freaked out. Luckily, I got hold of the situation pretty well and Phew, Luckily nothing went wrong. I told her "See! thats basically why I did not let you play games. What if you did something wrong and the computer crashed?!". She gave me this very funny look. Like her eyes went big. Her lips was in a circle.

Then I came to my senses. I'm talking to a 6 year old girl for goodness sake! Wth. Of course she won't understand. So I rephrased my sentence such that it became quite childish and she could understand. And you know what she said? "But I NEED to play the game..." 'What? NEED??? Are you sure? haha. You won't die not playing that bloody game you unruly little brat. Trying to act smart aren't ya. Can I flatten those chubby sheecks of yours?' That was what came to mind... haiz... Luckily she gave me that water babies. Lol.

And today... Ayah has a shooting with Screenbox. Can I follow? Who knows I could stand-in as extra? haha. LOLZ.

I so miss him.

Pretty or Beauty?

Which would you prefer?
Some would prefer pretty.
I'd prefer Beauty :D
What about you?

To me Pretty is just Face.
Beautiful is inside out.
It's beauty which makes a guy fall head over heels over you.
Cinderella wasn't pretty initially.
She was claimed to be ugly.
But she was beautiful.
Thats why even children believed her step-sisters are uglier!
Get what I mean? If you don't, Too bad you missed the train!

My pretty boy is here and His beautiful is coming!

Yessa!

Finished reading this book by Patrick Redmond. The puppet show. Very nice...
Hehe.
So now I'm chatting with my dearest Farra Hanan. :D Miss her so much lar.
Helping her with her DnT artefact....
Whee.

Anyway my head still hurts and I am hungry.
Confirmed. Melacca on 29 and 30. Damn. and 31 I'm schooling!
Argh... change date lar!

I miss you. Miss you so bad.

Yay!

I got a new slide show y'all! go and check it out! click :you:! :D enjoys!

OMG

Believe it or not.
He blogged about me.
LOL.
Bloody toots.
Not wrong.
But Calling me bontot berat?
Pfft!
haha!
I'm so gonna get him for this.
Well. At least he blogged.
Thankful for that.
At least I know that my trips to his blog aren't worthless.
:DD
Love you laa sayang.
But right.
I dunno how to show it to you.
I Can only say.
How can I show you.
We hardly meet.
And I am afraid.
That if these three words are said too much,
They would not be enough.
But in a nutshell,
I want you to know this.
I love you. :D

Gosh

Mood: Crazy (In a bad way)

Gosh. I am so lethargic today. Planned to go to school to pay my fees and meet hanafi:D but the plan was backfired by my physical state. Didn't feel good today. Argh. Ended up watching Vietnam vs Singapore's game. Bloody hell... Singapore kencing manis... though the score right now is 3-1 with Singapore leading... but Vietnam also kencing manis... Own goal. LOL! like wth. I can play better. Nyeahahaha. Ok wtf. I'm talking about soccer? Many things happened yesterday but I did not get to blog. Server down. LOL.

My Cussies from Australia are coming down this Jan. Woohooo! yippe yay yay! And now I'm tutoring one of them online...
wtf! ahha

Oh did i mention... We're going to Melacca with my mom's cliques at work -.-" Y not KL??? But I'll enjoy the company though! wheeee. Cant wait! Convoy Convoy...

Little Miss Happy

Was on the phone with Hanafi:D yesterday night. He played the guitar lah sey! woot! Sooo sweet lar his voice... One of the songs he played was cancer and we sang together. heheh... Sweeet...

I think We have some telepathic communication going on here. LOL. Cos everytime I wanna give him a text, I'll receive one from him. The SAME time! Just now, When I log in to MSN, He logged in too. LOL.

I wanna go out with him lar can? Heh. Imagine.

A day out.
Just chilling in some open space.
Enjoying Nature at it's best.
Bring my sandwiches, snacks and drinks.
He'll bring his guitar.
We'll sing a song.
I'd hope very much for that special day to come.

Sing for me everynight before I go to sleep
Will you?
I love my bassist lar... heh.

Damn! He's eating Ritter Sport! Bloody hell...

wait. I got an email. It says men are hard to please.
"If u Love him, he will try to LEAVE u."
Issit true? If it is true. Then... Can I not love hanafi?
Cos I don't want him to leave me.
Please?
Cos if he does... Then I'll cry a river.
DAMN.