yeahoo!

I got a letter from RSAF. About joining them by grabbing the scholarship they're offering... The advantages are so appealing that my father asked me to join. So I agree... but I want to join the Army instead because I'm not taking the diploma that the Navy and Air Force are asking. Im taking Environmental deisgn and the Diplomas that Navy and Air Force needs mostly are Engineering Diplomas. I hope that my eyesight won't be a hindrance to join... Aww Mannn....
I really want to join. I don't know why uh... but I think it's because of the benefits. LOL. There's some other girls who want to join too. Like Ayu, my Primary school friend... she wants to join the Air force... I think she's ok uh because I think she has perfect eyesight. Azimah wants to join in Army also... Land. Like me. I hope we can get in. So now, I'm waiting for the weekend to go for the RSAF ACE roadshow. There, I hope to get more Info.
Have you guys heard? New PSP coming out in Japan this march... Got built-in cam, slimmer, lighter and 8GB memory... Theres a new UMD slot so you won't experience the Flying UMD... theres somemore uh but i forgot. If you r interested, ask me personally. Thanks to Ridwan for this info. Luckily I havent buy PSP yet if not, I would have bought a piece of crap. hehe :P I'm so damn happy... you know why...

argh!!!!!!!!!

the noise is so damn irritating below... some repair work is being made to the rubbish chute and guess what? they started from 8AM un till now which is like 2.30PM! wahlao... feel like going down and tell them off... FYI, for those who dont know, i've cut my hair... again but this time, shorter... haha! its a surprise man... i cant describe! lol. had a good week this week... dunno why.. there was nothing much to do thou... i still have to go to my granma's house later... for what? i dunno... haha im so damn bored... played haboo but com sots... feel like crashing this com! i hate you computer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 i wanna get new one... using this one is so damn irritating!!!! arghhh!!! im at wits end oready!!!!

the noise is so damn irritating below... some repair work is being made to the rubbish chute and guess what? they started from 8AM un till now which is like 2.30PM! wahlao... feel like going down and tell them off... FYI, for those who dont know, i've cut my hair... again but this time, shorter... haha! its a surprise man... i cant describe! lol. had a good week this week... dunno why.. there was nothing much to do thou... i still have to go to my granma's house later... for what? i dunno... haha im so damn bored... played haboo but com sots... feel like crashing this com! i hate you computer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 i wanna get new one... using this one is so damn irritating!!!! arghhh!!! im at wits end oready!!!!

hahahahahaha

just now i had just read Azeez's, Zeema's and Dzariif's blog... so funny... azeez baru sedar that he looks like a nerd... hahaha.. sorry iz... no offence... but i realli think he should get a makeover loh... and a change in his attitude... his ex? hmm.... did she came to live back? i dunno... wth i dun care. And Dz has a cool job! wow! hmmms when will i get my poly results??? so tak sabar to go to TP!!! haha... know what? im so damn bored... im at my nenek's house now and there's basically many things to do but it's too quiet... i dunno where have the ppl living here went... maybe later im gonna play habbo... my left hand hurts... i cant type for long... salah urat kot... and this meja is so damn stiky... eww.... feelin so sorry for this laptop... yay! my mom getting me a laptop... dunno when... well i dun realli look forward to it.... not that i dun want it but her words cannot be used... she always say later.... later... but until now i cant see any product... but they say patience is a virtue... no matter what i will still love my mom.... for the recent post, im sorry that there was so many errors... i will edit it later... anyway, i think i would not wanna be in love... in admiration, maybe... but i just hate being controlled and seeing things that i dun wanna c.... so ya... k i'll update sooner or later... keep reading!

looking down....

from the clock here... i can see that its 2.58 am in the morning... and im not asleep yet... haha... so funny i dunno why that is so... i'm tired thinking about what to post in my blog and had been thinkin about it for the past five hours!!! while i was thinking, i played games like habbo, and spider solitaire. i'm so tired that now im lying down typin this words on my lap.. (it's a notebook im using see...) and ya.... im so damn tired sia but i can seem to close my eyes... i played ps2 games just now... forbidden siren... wahlao it was so scary leh... i mean... it was only zombies... but i am so faint hearted i changed the game... my kakak sedara called me kental... haha... takpe lah...
ok now shall i tell you a story about my past life? its not about bfs or what but its about family... Yesterday me and Ibu (my mom) had a chat. We were talking about my nenek (father side), my grandmother did not take care of my father when he was young... my great grandmother did. so basically my family is not that close to relatives of father's side.we were more closer to relatives of my mother's side. from the title you would have guessed... yes my father's mother had looked down on my family just because my father did not complete school. shall i tell you some happenings before?
ok first, during my uncle's wedding at a hotel, the family members had worn the same pattern of baju kurungs. only my parents were left out. at that time i was like 3. my mom told me this. of coz if u were treated like that, you would feel as if u are an outsider right? wrong... you would feel like your just a piece of shit that is dirty. then when there is a wedding function, my grandmother always let me aunty borrow her jewelries... she had never rest an eye on my mom... there was one time... my family had went out and was tired... so we decided to go to my nenek's house. we thought we could stay for a night. but then, she gave an excuse that there is no place for us cos my other aunty is sleepin over too... like hello?! there's a vacant room that we can use! what is that room for? your treasures? she had also liked to compare me and my cousin... fortunately. my resultsprove that im better than her... in psle, and also 'o's.... hahaha! now, i think she will regard me as her grandchild but realli i dun care... if she want, then ok... dun wan, nvm... i dont care that much... but i am educated... i wont hate her deadly like she does... when she needs help, i'll be there... if god willing... and that hari raya haji, she asked my uncle to call my father askin if he is coming to her place. like hell no... we have loads more places to go... haha... jkjk... i don't know y but my family is the most discriminated in my family tree... haha... my nenek from my mom's side is also the same... she would tell me that im stupid... and i was young at that time! all she cared for was my other cousin... at last what happened? he doesnt even come to her house to accompany her. only i do... like what the heck... i told you im educated... no matter how i dun like that person, i will still help when they are in need...
all my life i think is about proving... my nenek from my mother side and my makcik is now at kelantan... will be makin their way home now i guess... haha... so what i wanna tell you guys is that proving ppl wrong to me is a veryh efficient way to head success... because if you prove ppl wrong, the pride in you, ur name... the feeling is indescribable.... if someone looks down on you, just take it as an encouragement for you not to give up.... k its 3.30 now better get some rest coz tomorrow i need to go shopping for kak wiwik's birthday! yeah!!!
hey and you know what? on friday went to bugis with my kakak sedara and she bought tha bag that i loved at first sight for me!!! awww! so sweet!!! she said it was a present from her for my good results! woohoo! love her so much! nut unfortunately, sad things do happen... aiyaa same as azimah's supervisor's case... so dun wanna tok abt it.. nites...

yeah!

I've just send my confirmation of JAE choices... first choice, environment design at TP... im currently using my kakak sedara's (i also consider her as my own kakak) laptop... to blog only lah of course... walaoeh, im so bored at home... with my father... so boring... when i do something which makes him proud, he will be happy... but for other stuffz... haiya... can die uh! his nagging only cannot tahan... dun feel like going home... total stupid waste of time talkin to him... dalah tak bagi kluar keje part time... dier ckp dier takot when i get hold of money, i will forget my studies... like what the hell... he and mr malik shahal can sit at one room... so now... i feel so damn upset... with my condition right now, i think i can just give up... but u know what... i'm not the give up kinda gurl. if lets say i can work, i will show my father that i can juggle the time for work, studies, home and family! but then i know this won't be a reality... so what im planning to do now is that... im going to show him that i can get a scholarship. i love proving my father wrong. we just dont understand each other... ok lah... not that really but sometimes i just dont understand his old fashion-ness... haha... what word is that? but nevermind... i wont give up... i've gone this far... i can go further... ok now... about my results...cos i dun remember telling u guys... i got 16 points for l1r5... thank god! i try to thank god at least once a day for the miracle that's happen... y miracle? cos i didnt realli study for my poa and i got c6! got b3 for math sci and malay... almost every subject, my grades improved compared to the prelims.... my leaving cert was devastating... haha... u know... sometimes... people who like you (guys) are the greatest discourager... they think about themselves... like if they want you to go to the same poly as them... they will tell you all the good things about their poly.... and what bad things there are in othere... like hello? get out of my life man! get ur own life... i dont even know if u know me that well to know what is best for me... so irritating you know ppl like this...so c ya guys lata... got nothin to type... i've told you all the things that has been happening for now... chiow sin chi!

thoughts

i'm enjoying life more than ever... with friends right by my side. Never feeling depressed at all. Just pressured because of some guy hurting me on and on like as if i'm his punching bag. You know sometimesi feel i listen to people's problems too much that i feel so numb. they keep using me as a revenge dump. But its okay. people make mistakes. I guess someoneout there reading this must be very curious on how i can forgive a person that easily. well... im goingto tell you that there is hate in my vocabulary. Not that I don't. But its about 2nd chances. 3rd chancesare rare... but 4th, dun expect me to forgive you. haha.just typing this down to tell you guys out there one important message. that is to learn to convert hatredto inner love. when ur love makes mistakes, give themanother chance. you'll see the reward later. but more than 5 chances are too much. to me.. that is considered abusing. dont ever put out hate from your dictionary.You'll die a terrible death i tell you. some peopledo that and they die shooting themselves. its not worth it. I believe that suicide is not the best problemsolver. imagine. one moment you feel like ending your life. but when you do... thats when its terrible...your breath is taken away slowly. you feel that thereare still some things that you want to do in life.but when you realize, its too late. that's why its a big sin if you are a muslim. btw, that Michael Jacksoninterested in being a Muslim... is it true? if its true,he made a damn smart move. but if its just gossips, then its okay then. he will lead a good life, guided by theholy Qur'an.

yey... :(

so.. today i went to bugis with my kakak sedara, widya... didnt manage to go to vivo as plannedc cos my mom was working. last minute meeting. but, i managed to go surveying. i saw this haversack at bugis street which cost 39.90... so lawa... planning to buy it next month.. well next friday, probably the results will come out... im so damn nervous... argh!!!! how3??? so scared leh... what if i dun do well enuf and i cant go to poly??? ish touchwood.... i just hope my results are as good as my prelim results... *prays hard*

yeah!

hey you guys should try this cool game know. its at yahoo.com. yahoo! graffiti. i know some here have tried it. tahey say its fun... well faced some setbacks in my life. i feel like im nothing in this world. but maybe later i'll feel like a somebody. somebody that everybody needs. yeah... how i wish i was that. lol... what a weird ambition. i think i prefer being laughter... yeah... and madness... as naqia said im facing a "obsessive compulsive disorder" thingy... haha... well later i gotta teach tuition and my mom is workin half day today! tomorrow, i'll be going to bugis or vivo... hmm.... which one will it be? maybe velocity? haha... never went there b4... aniwaes is naqia at england?