looking down....

from the clock here... i can see that its 2.58 am in the morning... and im not asleep yet... haha... so funny i dunno why that is so... i'm tired thinking about what to post in my blog and had been thinkin about it for the past five hours!!! while i was thinking, i played games like habbo, and spider solitaire. i'm so tired that now im lying down typin this words on my lap.. (it's a notebook im using see...) and ya.... im so damn tired sia but i can seem to close my eyes... i played ps2 games just now... forbidden siren... wahlao it was so scary leh... i mean... it was only zombies... but i am so faint hearted i changed the game... my kakak sedara called me kental... haha... takpe lah...
ok now shall i tell you a story about my past life? its not about bfs or what but its about family... Yesterday me and Ibu (my mom) had a chat. We were talking about my nenek (father side), my grandmother did not take care of my father when he was young... my great grandmother did. so basically my family is not that close to relatives of father's side.we were more closer to relatives of my mother's side. from the title you would have guessed... yes my father's mother had looked down on my family just because my father did not complete school. shall i tell you some happenings before?
ok first, during my uncle's wedding at a hotel, the family members had worn the same pattern of baju kurungs. only my parents were left out. at that time i was like 3. my mom told me this. of coz if u were treated like that, you would feel as if u are an outsider right? wrong... you would feel like your just a piece of shit that is dirty. then when there is a wedding function, my grandmother always let me aunty borrow her jewelries... she had never rest an eye on my mom... there was one time... my family had went out and was tired... so we decided to go to my nenek's house. we thought we could stay for a night. but then, she gave an excuse that there is no place for us cos my other aunty is sleepin over too... like hello?! there's a vacant room that we can use! what is that room for? your treasures? she had also liked to compare me and my cousin... fortunately. my resultsprove that im better than her... in psle, and also 'o's.... hahaha! now, i think she will regard me as her grandchild but realli i dun care... if she want, then ok... dun wan, nvm... i dont care that much... but i am educated... i wont hate her deadly like she does... when she needs help, i'll be there... if god willing... and that hari raya haji, she asked my uncle to call my father askin if he is coming to her place. like hell no... we have loads more places to go... haha... jkjk... i don't know y but my family is the most discriminated in my family tree... haha... my nenek from my mom's side is also the same... she would tell me that im stupid... and i was young at that time! all she cared for was my other cousin... at last what happened? he doesnt even come to her house to accompany her. only i do... like what the heck... i told you im educated... no matter how i dun like that person, i will still help when they are in need...
all my life i think is about proving... my nenek from my mother side and my makcik is now at kelantan... will be makin their way home now i guess... haha... so what i wanna tell you guys is that proving ppl wrong to me is a veryh efficient way to head success... because if you prove ppl wrong, the pride in you, ur name... the feeling is indescribable.... if someone looks down on you, just take it as an encouragement for you not to give up.... k its 3.30 now better get some rest coz tomorrow i need to go shopping for kak wiwik's birthday! yeah!!!
hey and you know what? on friday went to bugis with my kakak sedara and she bought tha bag that i loved at first sight for me!!! awww! so sweet!!! she said it was a present from her for my good results! woohoo! love her so much! nut unfortunately, sad things do happen... aiyaa same as azimah's supervisor's case... so dun wanna tok abt it.. nites...